Thursday, October 30, 2008

So little time!..Friday Jukebox.

..scratch that.
Mostly,..I wonder why so very many among us that proclaim to be guardians of the Holy Scripture,have clearly never read it?..

'Thee is mine,..though I don't know many words of praise,thee pleasures me in a hundred ways'..

Well, no,.. that's not exactly in the Bible..
Jeeze,..You gotta be hit upside the head with a big ol' stick?..

'In so far as you have done this to the least of my brethren, have done this to me'..

That's what the wise man said!
..Look it up.

'Friendly Persuasion'

EDIT:..At first I thought,when I quoted the phrase 'least of my brethren',it might be interpereted as some kind of slight.
Then I thought,'Surely my readers are more enlightened than that!'..
..and then I thought,'..Hey!..we have some left over fish stix!'..
..I'll shut up now.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

On the Grid..

This whole 'bein' a regular type citizen' thing is getting out of control!

If you've been following this blog for any length of time,you probably know that I've gone to great lengths,since I got out of Corrections,to stay as far off the grid as possible.
Maybe that seems odd,but it's been my experience that once you're in the system,'they' tend to focus an undue amount of attention on your whereabouts,and activities.
I mean,they have all those resources,and way too many toys to play with for my comfort.
Particularly during an administration bent on relegating the Constitution to the 'fiction' section of the Library of Congress.

Well,time passes,as it is wont to do,and my low-profile efforts to put sufficient distance between who I was then,and who I am now seems to have paid off.
I recently had occasion to have a thorough criminal background check done on myself,and it turned up exactly,..nothing!

Zero,,..ain't no such body.

It seems that after nine years of flying pretty much under the radar,my felony conviction has been expunged from not only the State of Colorado's records,but the FBI's criminal database as well...I kid you not!

This was my plan.
Given enough time,systems evolve,people come and go in all those low-level, record keeping type government jobs,and priorities shift to more pressing matters.
Simply put,the end result is that it becomes expedient to flush out the old,to make way for the new...

Consequently,I'm taking baby steps to re-enter into the fray.
Not only am I a brand new registered voter,but yesterday I toddled my happy ass on down to the DMV to get me an actual,State of Cal-i-for-ni-a picture ID!
Yep,..I've been navigating the ins and outs of being alive for the last nine years without specifically being able to identify myself.
It's not as difficult as you might think.
Still,I suppose the ways and means of such a lifestyle might make for an informative pamphlet on the subject.
..maybe later.

In the meantime,I plan on enjoying all the rights and benefits of being an actual person.
Hey!..I might even open up one o' them bank accounts I've heard tell about!

You know, soon as I get me some money.


Saturday, October 25, 2008

..I've got some land in Florida.

WOO HOO!!..It's Friday!
Pay no attention to your calendars kids,I'm here to tell you right to your face that it's Friday,and I'm getting my Friday Jukebox Video posted precisely on time,..because it's Friday.

Now that that's settled..

Today's regularly scheduled,and clearly brought to you on Friday video was inspired by my dear friend Rainey's post about the 'circle of life'.
It's a sensitive,thoughtful,and spot on observance of the joys and angst of watching our children grow.
Along the way,she quoted a line from one of my all-time favorite songs!

"Turn around and she's two, turn around and she's four..."

What began as the soundtrack for a Kodak camera commercial back in 1960,went on to become a hugely popular hit by those talented young kids,'Dick and Dee-Dee'.

Here they are,performing that song on American Bandstand.
I especially like the interview portion,where Mr. Clark poses the question to Dick the younger,'Do you have any difficulty having a female partner in the act?'
To which Dee-Dee demures,'Well,I take a little longer to get ready,but I try to hurry now'..

Boy,..those were the days.

That Rainey is one smart cookie!
You know,..for a girl.

'Turn Around'..

EDIT:..Now seems like a good time to post those pix of my own very Grandson,..Little Jackson!
..It's been all of ten months.

I'm outta here..


Thursday, October 23, 2008

I need a word..

I have a slight dilemma...

I need a word to describe that thing people do,whereby they say something out loud and in public,and then proceed to deny it as though their revised version of the facts must be true,by virtue of having said it.

No,no,'s not 'lying',because that implies that the person knows that there is a marked disparity between what they said then,and what they are saying now.

I'm talking about those instances in which the offender clearly believes the newly crafted account of events,and fully expects that we'll believe it too!

Matthews: 'Do you believe Barack Obama may have anti-American views?"..

Bachmann: 'ABSOLUTELY!..I'm very concerned that he may have anti-American views'.

Straight forward question...Enthusiastic answer..

I've been speaking English for some time now,and feel like I have at least a journeyman's grasp of it's usage.
Try as I might,I can't find an iota of ambiguity in that exchange.

And yet,..
'I'm not saying that his views are anti-American,that was a misreading of what I said'...
She went on to complain in a separate interview,that she had been the victim of Chris Matthews' 'trap'..

What the fuck!??..

I'm convinced,that she's convinced,that we're convinced that her 'clarification' makes perfect sense,and that her simple act of rebuttal has successfully warped the fabric of time and space,bringing us to an alternate universe in which she maintains her credibility.

If there's not a word to describe that phenomenon,there really does need to be one.


Monday, October 20, 2008

Children of the korn..

'You're not paranoid,if they really are watching you!'...

Like most rural communities,O-Town is largely a quiet,and peaceful little Hamlet.
Lazy days filled with the laughter of small children playing under the watchful eyes of their soccer moms,shopkeepers busily sweeping the sidewalks in front of their stores,while all and sundry townsfolk go about the business of living their daily lives at a Rockwellian pace..All quite pastoral,I assure you!

We are reminded however,during these misty mornings,and chilly evenings preceding All-Hallows Eve,of a darker,and much more sinister veil that conceals our deepest fears.
Things that are only spoken of in whispers,out of earshot from the children,and certainly never in the presence of 'Outsiders'...

****Mysteries of O-Town****

What malevolent force compels the inhabitants of O-Town to gather en masse along Main Street at seemingly random times,and for no apparent reason?..

This 'Sprocket of Death',preserved where it fell,is all that remains after Bob Rotary's twin-engine Cessna mysteriously disappeared from the skies above O-Town!

No one alive today knows what ancient race of technologically advanced beings built 'The Great Pyramid' at Filbert Street,or why it was abruptly abandoned before it was completed.

..and perhaps most frightening of all!

It's Monday,..and life is beset with really creepy stuff in Sling's Domain.


Friday, October 17, 2008

Friday Jukebox

I've got something special for your listening pleasure today kids.
An actual,by god, #1 smash hit!

Okay, was number one in 1963,and it's sung entirely in Japanese..
You didn't think I was gonna let you off that easy did ya?

'I look up when I walk,so my tears won't fall'..
That shit's poetry right there!


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Decision '72..

The wise and wonderful Mom over at 'The best is yet to be' recently posed the question,'Who was the first person you ever voted for to be President of the United States?'

Congress had barely passed the law lowering the voting age when,as a freshly minted 18 year old,I threw myself in earnest into the political pool way back in 1972.

Those were heady days indeed!..

Youngsters nowadays have no clue about the kinds of things that weighed heavy on the minds of my generation.
The state of the world,and the socio-economic considerations that desperately needed to be addressed!
...for example.

**International terrorist groups dominated the nightly news!**

The Irish Republican Army bombing city streets at will,Pakistani extremists taking Israeli athletes hostage,and executing them at the '72 Olympics,and commercial jets being hijacked like there was no tomorrow..

**Homicidal third-world despots held their country in a relentless totalitarian grip**

..Idi Amin boasted that his role model was Adolph Hitler!

**We were embroiled in an un-winnable war in Vietnam**

**Natural disasters crippled large sections of the country**

Hurricane Agnes,the worst in U.S. history, slammed into the Eastern Seaboard,causing a whopping 3 billion dollars in damages!..

**Don't even get me started on the energy crisis!**

Oil shortages around the globe caused the price of gasoline to soar above $1.00 a gallon!!..

Oh,..there was a bright spot to be had for sure.
A phenomenal young swimmer by the name of Mark Spitz,electrified the '72 Olympics by winning an unprecedented SEVEN gold medals!

Boy howdy,..things were sure a lot different 36 years ago, when I cast my very first vote for Democratic nominee,George Mcgovern...

He lost by a landslide to Republican candidate, Richard 'Tricky Dick' Nixon.
If only he had won,pot would have been legalized!

..I guess we'll never know how things might have turned out.


Sunday, October 12, 2008

Note to self:..

After several transparent attempts to play on the fears of the weak minded minions that make up the base of his supporters by intimating that Barack Obama is nothing less than a terrorist tool on a par with 'The Manchurian Candidate',John Mccain finally took heed of public opinion,including many high profile members of his own party,and made a couple of half-assed efforts to tone down the vigilante tenor of his campaign by engaging in some embarrassingly awkward back-pedaling.

This past Friday,when one misinformed supporter complained that she wouldn't vote for Obama because he was 'an Arab',Johnny snatched the mic from her hand,and proceeded to set her straight..

'No!..He's a decent man!'..

Way to go McMoron!..
Everyone knows the two are mutually exclusive,..right?
Putz!..Do us a favor,and stay off our side.

I was basking in the euphoria of my righteous indignation when it occurred to me that,just maybe,I'm guilty of a similar brand of prejudice myself.

I mean,I have been known to use the designation 'Republican' as an interchangeable epithet that I would normally reserve for Nazis,child molesters,and those incredible idiots that continue cruising for miles down the highway with their turn signal flashing.

If I'm going to presume to occupy the moral high ground,I should probably stop doing that..

Friday, October 10, 2008

This Cop is My Hero!..

Wait!..Don't change the channel!..You're on the right blog.
I really did say that,and I mean it.

Cook County Sheriff ,Tom Dart,has ordered his deputies to cease evicting tenants from their homes.
With home foreclosures on the rise,many renters are finding themselves evicted through no fault of their own.
They pay their rent,maintain the property,and go about the business of being good citizens,only to come home from work to find their belongings scattered about the front yard because the home went through the whole process of foreclosure,and they were never notified!

Well,Tom has brought this injustice to a screaming halt.
When asked about the contempt of court citation that will very likely be issued against him for his unilateral decision,he replied,..'There have been too many instances in the past where injustice has been done under color of the excuse,'I was just following orders',..and I won't be a part of that!'..

Kudos to you sir,and a sincere tip o' the lid!..

Switching gears...Grinding,actually..

It's Friday Jukebox Video time boys and girls!
I keep this song in my head,in one form or another,for the singular purpose of maintaining my sanity.
..such as it is.
What with the instances of diabetes on the rise,I'll forego my usual saccharin introduction this one time,and just say 'Check this guy out!''ll be glad you did.

A blessing on Tom Dart,the people he's defending,and each and every one of your houses..


Wednesday, October 08, 2008

..thumb twiddling.

I'm pretty much over this whole 'free time' business.

It seemed kinda cool at first.
I mean,now I can sleep 'till 8 AM,roll outta the sack,and spend my day catching up on all those daytime television programs that I normally watch whenever I call in sick...Hoda Kotb is next on the list of future ex-Slings by the way.
..But I digress.

Even better!..I found myself with an abundance of movies on the 1,327,692 channels we get,courtesy of Lizzard King's fortuitous association with DirecTV,..the world's most desirable sattelite television provider,and proud sponsor of something really cool that I can't remember right now.

Well,I've gone through ALL of the blockbuster,in your face,check out the high dollar special effects!!,action adventure,starring your favorite actor/actress offerings,and that's all well and good.

Then I moved on to those foreign films that don't get all the pre-release media hype,but still garner some pretty impressive accolades from the good folks that bring us the Canne's film festival,the Sundance film festival,and the Barstow talking picture bonanza and all you can eat Mongolian barbecue festival.

Having exhausted that cornucopia of fine celluloid artistry,I reluctantly soldiered on to conquer the nether-world of 'romantic comedies',(and if confronted with that accusation,I'll vehemently deny it,..under oath).
Still,(sniff),it seems clear to me that Charlie Sheen and Angie Harmon are so destined to be together!..Just sayin'.

Wait a minute!!..There seems to be one more frontier of box office delights I've neglected to cross, in my never ending search for quality distraction!
..Where have they been hiding all this time??
This is the greatest thing since sliced bread!
Humor and pathos,..drama and intrigue!
..I just can't wait to find out if poor little Nemo finds his way home!!

It's Wednesday,and life is full of possibilities in Sling's Domain.

Monday, October 06, 2008

I'll make you a proposition..

What with all the attention focused on the Presidential campaigns,and the tenuous state of the economy,I think it's possible many of us have overlooked some very important issues that have been set before us in the form of propositions.

Here in California,we have two propositions in particular that I'm especially interested in..

Proposition 2: Provides for the humane treatment of farm animals..
It would require agribusiness to maintain animals used for food in an environment in which they would spend most of the day free to stand up,turn around,and stretch their limbs..
I'm nothing if not a carnivore,and an argument could be made that if we didn't eat cows,there wouldn't be cows.
I mean,it's not like they'd flourish across the land, free ranging at their leisure.
So,as long as we're going to propagate these creatures for our dining pleasure,it seems clear to me that the civilized thing to do would be to allow them to spend their brief time on Earth in some measure of comfort,if not dignity.
..I'll be voting yes on this one.

Proposition 8: Amends the California Constitution to specify that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid,or recognized in our fair state..
Lord,..give me strength.
When will these glassy-eyed,bible thumping,fundamentalist Fascists get their perpetually bent noses out of humanity's ass,and focus their efforts on their own Christian shortcomings?..Namely,the unbridled bigotry and hatred of their fellow sapiens.
I'm seriously considering petitioning for an amendment that requires them all to be rounded up,sequestered in a controlled environment,and utilized as slaves,..or food.
Naturally,they'd be granted all the rights and privileges outlined under proposition 2 above.
..I'll be voting FUCK NO! on this one.

I'm confident that my enlightened readers will be examining the propositions in their own respective states,and casting their votes in an informed,and conscientious fashion...

Have a great week kids!

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Friday, October 03, 2008

Don't you know?..You can't go home again.

There's a place in my heart,and in my head,that I have some small difficulty trying to nail down.
I mean,I've been there,and have the very real sense of the sights,and sounds,and smells,as clearly as if I had only turned to bid them adieu this very morning.

I can feel the weight of the comforting cloak of belonging draped across my shoulders,bask in the warmth of the afternoon sun,and take a moment's pleasure in the cautious scent of Jasmine wafting on the gentle breeze.

Still,..even now, would be fruitless to try and point to some particular latitude and longitude on one of those giant fold out maps you find in the 'Special Edition' of National Geographic, and declare with certainty,..'There!..It's right there!!'..

Mostly,..I just want to go home.

'Carolina in my mind'

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