Thursday, October 29, 2009

Relax..I've done all the work for you.

What with All Hallow's Eve nearly upon us,I've been scouring the interweaves in search of,..yep,..Christmas music!

You know how you really love a particular song,but you don't know the title and all you have to work with is the lyrics of the refrain,so you type those into 'Search' a hundred and seventeen times over the last couple of years and all you come up with is great quantities of songs that just aren't the one you're looking for,and then one day you're doing something totally unrelated to your search and a commercial comes on the TV with that very tune and you quick-like-a-fox rewind the TiVo and there is the actual title,so now you can type in six little words and lo-and-behold! up pops every variation of that beloved hymn known to humanity,and now you have to spend three days sifting through all those interpretations looking for the definitive version?
...It's like that.

In all fairness,I just don't think this music can be performed badly.
I listened to every thing from Junior High Christmas pageants,to soaring flocks of pristine nuns against the solemn timbre of ginormous pipe organs,and they were,each and every one,inspirational on some level.

In the end,I chanced upon Mr. Zacharron's performance of a Mike Marshall arrangement..
..Guess which one is stuck in my head.

'Angels we have heard on high'


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Face Plant...

First of all,..Little Jackson is O.K!..
I always like to preface incredible tales of survival with that disclaimer,so people don't get all twitterpated and stuff.
(Can 'Twitter' sue me for copywrite infringement?...Screw 'em!)..

It seems young Master Jack was exercising on the kitchen counter,(been there),and fell ass-over-tea-kettle backwards,(done that),..and in an heroic attempt to perform a graceful dismount,landed squarely on his face on the tiled floor!
..Quite naturally,this rattled his cage pretty good.

Lickity-split,Darling Daughter hit the 911 speed dial,and our would be gymnast was transported post-haste to the hospital,via ambulance,where it was determined that;..
  • He had suffered a minor concussion.
  • ..Those two goose eggs on his 'noggin will heal in no time!,..and,..
  • He had a chocolate candy bar that his mom had forbidden him earlier in the day,squirreled away in his diaper against just such an emergency!..
..You just can't keep a hard-headed and resourceful Germexican down!


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Words of Wisdom..

Soupy Sales died Thursday,at the age of 83.
Maybe you grew up with the likes of Red Skelton,Abbott and Costello,W.C Fields,Lenny Bruce,Rusty Warren,..
Sorry,..I digress back to those pre-pubescent days when there were things that I just knew were a tad askew.
Things that seemed painfully obvious,but were never really spoken of in polite circles.
Still,..if you listened...

'Words of Wisdom'


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Give it a shot..

I have a new hobby!
Well,it's more like a goal.
Actually,'s more like a fantasy,whose attainment is a goal I'm making my new hobby..Anywhiz,..
I fully intend to get a photograph of some sort published in National Geographic Magazine!

'What manner of madness is this!?!', ask.

First of all, guys talk funny.
But,I do understand your incredulity.
Turns out,NatGeo actually solicits reader submissions for their 'Your Shot' photo campaign!

Each weekday,(Monday-Friday),they select a 'Daily Dozen' from the buttloads of reader submissions,to post on the above underlined link.
From these,two photos are selected to be featured in their monthly issue.
The helluvit is,you may only submit one photo a month.

So,..I guess my first objective is to make the Daily Dozen.

I don't know how many submissions they get each month,..But I do know this!
..Twelve a day,times five days a week,times four weeks a month,divided by two,(Subtract the nine,..carry the seventeen),..makes the odds of getting published 1 in 120!!
That's way better than the odds of winning the lottery..(Although, there's no actual talent involved in winning the lottery,..but we won't let that deter us).

I like to think I can take a 'pretty' picture..

Maybe sometimes, 'artsy' picture..

..Even the occasional 'whimsical' picture..

Now,if I can just manage to take an iconic picture,..I'll be up to my ass in the fame and adulation that having a photo published in NatGeo quite naturally deserves!

That's why I'm calling this whole endeavor a hobby..It's not anything I could do to earn my daily Sheckels,but there's an enormous amount of satisfaction in the effort.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

More Cockle Warming stuff..

Some of you may recall the the announcement I made last August,of the sad passing of Mom-O's sister,Christine.
Numbered among the friends and family Chris left behind,was her beloved little Chihuahua,Roscoe.

It's sometimes the nature of things when someone passes,priorities being what they are,that the decease's pet tends to get a little lost in the shuffle.
Often,the only sensible thing to do is to transfer the animal to a local shelter,in the sincere hope that it finds a loving home.
Such was the eventual circumstance of Roscoe's dispensation.

Fast forward two months...

Mom-O is waiting in her doctor's office for a perfectly routine appointment,and picking up a copy of the O-Town Gazette she is startled to see,prominently featured on the front page,...

Roscoe's new owner,Mr. B,is a Veteran of the Vietnam war who recently suffered a debilitating stroke.
Forced into having to essentially re-learn the most basic skills,(like walking and talking),..Mr. B. began to sink into a rather profound depression.
After a time,concerned friends convinced him that perhaps a pet would help brighten his spirits.

Mr. B. had no more than walked into the shelter when he and Roscoe spotted each other,and the bonds of friendship were permanently sealed.

..'When Lorraine Green,executive director of the SPCA,put Roscoe in B's lap,a smile broke across his face,and he kept laughing when he looked at the dog..When asked why he picked Roscoe from all the other dogs,he smiled and pointed to the small Chihuahua,..'Right there!', B said,'That's him!'..

I can't help but think,for those of us who dearly miss Christine,as well as for Roscoe and Mr.B,..the healing process can rightfully begin.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Livin' Large!...

The Partner and I look forward,..every Wednesday, our free lunch!

A couple of our tenants are involved with the 'Feed the People' program at a local church,and they encouraged us to stop by about 5 months ago.
..We haven't skipped a Wednesday since!

The program is designed to insure that the low income,and homeless on the 'Southside' of town (every town has a Southside) receive at least one nourishing meal a week.
All that is required is to walk in,take a seat,..and one of several cheerful souls will bring you the meal du jour,along with an ice cold glass of kool-aid,and some sort of pastry for dessert...Today it was peach pie!

No one is turned away,and no one goes away hungry because seconds are eagerly offered,and 'Would you like to take something home with you?' is always their final inquiry as you prepare to leave.

The meal itself is,quite naturally,a simple one.
Chicken and rice with gravy and a dinner roll...Beef or pork enchiladas with refried beans,a salad,and home made salsa...Like that.
Still,we've never had the same meal twice!
At least,not thus far.
PLUS!..As an added bonus,..there's entertainment!

Who doesn't like to hear a haunting version of 'Greensleeves',performed faithfully on the harp while enjoying a hearty beef stew?

That's the good life right there!

No,The Partner and I aren't indigent by any means.
One hand washes the other,as best it can.
So,it's understood that we'll each make a donation to the pickle jar that sits inconspicuously on the kitchen counter every time,and as long as we're in the neighborhood,we may as well load a small cache of donated items in the truck,and deliver them to the thrift store they operate across town,if needs be.
Hey,..It's on our way.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Speak of the Devil..

..and up pops a reasonable facsimile!

Clipping the heels of my most recent lamentations over the dismal lack of rantable rants,..comes now,the announcement that Barack Obama has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize,and the woefully predictable Republican response.

If ever there were a more clear indication that the one and only goal of the Conservatives is to subvert any forward motion of this country in an effort to permanently ensconce their beloved reactionary ideals,(that being the dominant installation of white male,Anglo-Saxon,Christian fundamentalist,fear mongering,'Run for your lives!..There's a Negro in the White House!', every niche of power conceivable),..this is it.

I mean...Who would have ever imagined that the United States losing a bid for the Olympics would generate standing ovations from all those self proclaimed 'Real Americans?
Their justification?..
Well,'s because that uppity Obama character has no credibility on the world stage!

A half-fortnight later,..and they're apoplectic over the 'embarrassment' of President Obama's having garnered what is arguably the most prestigious award on the planet,because his 'star power' in the global community took priority over more deserving candidates,and therefore has no real value to this country's diplomatic status.
(There will be a brief pause in this post,..while I puke).

To those that would insult the collective intelligence of every American citizen with their diametrically opposed points of logic,I can't help but feel compelled to point out,..'IT'S THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE YOU INCREDIBLE FUCKING MORONS!!'..

Obama himself,humbled at the announcement,acknowledged that he would not accept this turn of events as something that he had earned,but as a mandate to continue to represent America as an earnest participant in the efforts to bring peace to all peoples,..everywhere.

Did the Nobel committee have a political agenda here?
You bet!..
The Peace Prize,(as opposed to say,prizes for medicine or physics),has frequently looked forward.
Mikhail Gorbachev,for example,received the award in 1990 not for what his 'Glasnost' policy had already accomplished,but for how the profound effect his enlightened approach would,(and eventually did),have on the world's political stability.
Okay..We didn't necessarily turn our swords into plowshares,..but we most certainly did turn our bomb shelters into root cellars!
Way to go Mike!

..My point,assuming I have one,is that if Barack Obama were to cure every disease known to humanity,..the very far right-wingnuts would denounce him for his Socialist attempt to take over health care...

I feel better now.


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Titles That Didn't Make It..

I'm suffering an alarming dearth of blogging material lately,a side effect of things seeming to go fairly well,..I think.
Blogging about things that really piss me off is one of my most enjoyable activities,and when life is rolling along at an amiable pace,it makes it hard to get motivated.

So,..I decided to go back through my drafts,and see if there was anything I started that I might draw upon.
What I found was mostly just a bunch of titles that I intended to write stories around.
Like most bloggers,I always come up with a title first,and then make up stuff to go with it.

..Which is exactly what I've done here today!


****Sling's list of titles that didn't make it.****
  • 10 Things Every Woman Should Know About Male Menopause.

  • I See Dead People!!..wait,..nevermind.

  • Those Marks Are From Guys Touching Her With Ten-Foot Poles.
  • Titles That Didn't Make It.

  • O-Town..Land O' Plenty.
  • Does This Look Infected To You?...and,

  • Spotted Owls Taste Just Like Dolphins!
They all sounded pretty good at the time,but lost their appeal once the Vicodin wore off..


Friday, October 02, 2009

Holy smoke!!..

You know how,whenever you hear multiple vehicles with sirens blaring come to a screeching halt in front of your house,your initial reaction is to bolt out the back door,over the fence,and down the alley to make your getaway?
We've all been there.

Well,..I managed to suppress that urge long enough to look out my bedroom window,and this is what I saw!

The house next door is a duplex,and when the young mother of two smelled smoke coming from the other apartment,she rounded up the kids,high-tailed it into the street,and called the O-Town fire department...Good girl!

I love these kids!..I'll bet it didn't take 'em three minutes from the time they received the call to get on the job.

Everyone was safe and sound outside,but the husband didn't know that when he showed up,(I guess that info wasn't forwarded to him for some reason),so his first thought was for his two babies.

All this transpired yesterday afternoon..
The cause of the fire?..The other tenants decided to cover up that unsightly floor heater with a more attractive throw rug,and then leave for a couple of days.
..I kid you not.
Sometimes,I really wonder why it is we allow some people to vote,..and drive cars..