ASK SLING

Dear Sling;
Part of my job as a librarian is to catalogue the various magazines we receive,and set them out so that our patrons may find them easily,according to their particular subject matter.
We recently received a copy of "Baby Talk" magazine,and I must tell you that I was SHOCKED and APPALLED at the cover photo!
Mr Sling,it was a most disturbing portrait of an infant caught in the act of suckling at his mother's breast!...Oh,my stars and garters!...I nearly had a stroke right then and there!..I mean,It was an actual teat,(if you'll pardon my use of the "T" word).
What,in the name of common decency,am I to do?
Shall I file it under "Degenerate pornography" along with "The Tropic of Cancer"?...Or would it be better if I simply burned it so that the male population of our little midwestern burg aren't driven into a catastrophic sexual frenzy?
yours Truly,
Self-appointed guardian of the public morals

Dear,Pinched in,self-righteous,monumental douchebag,
Please,...if there's a God in Heaven,..somebody put a bullet in my head...Why do we continue to manufacture an endless supply of thoroughly amazing,fatally reactionary,steaming piles of equestrian excrement???
Sonofabitch!!
Anyway,..I'm here to help,..so here is my advice.
The quickest,and most efficient way to ensure that this issue doesn't infect the delicate sensibilities of your inbred little community is to roll it up,tight as you can,and insert it horizontally into whatever bodily orifice it is least likely to fit.

EDIT:By the way,NICE TIT!