So..What's in it for me?

President Obama is scheduled to sign the Economic Stimulus Package,recently passed by Congress,tomorrow in Denver.
Why in Denver,by the way?..I mean,it seems like the kind of landmark deal he'd want to enact for posterity,sitting large-and-in-charge behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office.
Maybe I like that image too much in my own head?
I just don't know..


In any case,..I'm proud of him for jumping in there with both feet,and bulldogging this legislation through Congress short of his first thirty days in office,just like he promised he would do during the campaign.
I'd like to note that the Republicans also did their part in living up to my expectations,..thumping the podium,rending their garments,and generally raising the hue and cry over how disastrous this partisan Democratic boondoggle would surely prove to be.
I'm not exactly sure who it is they're trying to convince that anything they have to say about anything holds merit at this point,but if it helps them snuggle up to the thirty-seven morons still left in this country that buy into their philosophies,I say let 'em go ahead and enjoy the delusion.
Just please,..don't speak out,or rustle papers while the grown-ups are having a discussion.

If I've left you with the impression that I'm confident the stimulus deal is gonna be the miracle salve that soothes the economic rug burns on our knees we've suffered over the last eight years,allow me to clarify.
I haven't got a clue..

But I do know this!
Part of the package includes an extra $100.00 a month in unemployment benefits.
After I've budgeted out my rent,utilities,and food,..I'm left with exactly $19.00,every two weeks,to use as I might for such habitual luxuries as tobacco,brown liquor,and personal hygiene products.
..In that order.

I'm really not complaining...I know for an actual fact that many of my worker-bee brethren would gladly trade places with me,..but I gotta tell ya,I'm fit to hoot and holler,and throw babies all up in the air over the prospect of having an additional $25 smacks a week!!

Is that selfish?..Yes..It is.

Perhaps I'll repent of my greed while I'm standing in line at Wal-Mart to purchase that 6-pack of Hane's no-droop crew socks I've had my eye on,'lo these past several months.

Sweet..Warm..Socks..