Monday, March 02, 2009

It's a jungle out there..

I've received countless e-mails of late (3) asking me how the quest for gainful employment is going.
While pickin's remain slim,trust that I'm on top of all my viable opportunities as they arise,keeping my ear to the ground,and applying for each and every opening that might bear fruit.

I'm also in touch with Bobbi over at Experience Works several times a week,and have finally completed a battery of tests designed to evaluate my strengths in an ever competitive job market.
These tests are taken on their website,consist of 40-60 questions in each category,and are timed...They even give you a handy countdown clock in the corner so, know, pressure.

I'm feelin' pretty good about my scores,so I've copied and pastied them here for your shopping convenience.

Essential Entry-level Workplace and Computer Skills - Quick Test
Essential Customer Service Skills
Essential Retail and Service Skills - Quick Test
Essential Transferable Skills for Trades - Quick Test
Essential Math Skills
Essential Time Management Skills
Essential Telephone Skills
Essential Medical Office Skills
Essential Reasoning Skills
Essential Reading and Comprehension Skills
Essential Interpersonal and Teamwork Skills
Workplace Computer Skills
Interpersonal Communication
Customer Service Fundamentals
Essential Computer Skills
Essential Medical Office Skills - Quick Test
Professional Workplace Readiness Assessment

My favorite was the 'Essential Reasoning Skills' test,wherein they give you diabolically crafted scenarios to ponder in an attempt to divine exactly how it is your mind works.
..good luck with that.

If one car is going uphill at 60 miles an hour,and one car is going downhill at 60 miles an hour,how many shingles are on a dog's house?..

a) 13,..because camels don't like ice-cream.

b) All of the above.

..I'm pretty sure I nailed that one.

Bobbi reviewed these results,and asked me what line of work I was most interested in.
I told her I wanted her job.


At 8:58 AM , Blogger jan said...

Great scores!! I can't remember the last time anyone showed customer service skills while I was shopping.

My last experience in Home Depot, the worker was on a stepladder the whole time I was trying to find out about a product. The only reason I found him is that a worker in another department showed me where he was.

At 9:44 AM , Blogger Mom said...

You obviously have all the essential skills. Do they have a rest for your non-essential skills like telling a good story and always making life more interesting? On second thought, that should be an essential skill.

At 10:38 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Impressive. But do they know how cute and funny you are? That's what is going to get you the job.

At 11:12 AM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

tres brainy,but can you hit a curve ball?

At 12:11 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Jan- I kid you not,I had an interview at Home Depot last week!
It was for a 'Part-Time/Seasonal' position.
..I haven't heard anything yet.

Mom- That really should be an essential skill.Sadly,most employers expect you to actually produce something.

Citizen- I've got that covered.
I direct all potential employers to my blog.

Billy P.- I think so.
At least,it's always been my policy,when confronted with erratically moving objects,to smack them resoundingly with a baseball bat.

At 1:35 PM , Blogger Willym said...

You see, I always knew you weren't another pretty face.. sorry that should be "just another pretty face" And you probably would do real well at Bobbi's job!

At 3:59 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

wear low cut tops and lean forward alot....oh wait..that's how I got my jobs..Do you have $stores near you...I know every one thinks I'm nuts but they are always hiring because people end up stealing from them..I swear..and they pay pretty good and the way up the ladder is easy to climb. you might have to work a lot of hours..but you can do like Inky did and refuse the top postion and just work your 40 hours as the asst. manager and not have the pressure of being manager..too bad we don't know jack about bakery's..we could pool our money and buy the village bakery and make a lot of bread.....

sorry I couldn't resist.

At 4:32 PM , Blogger more cowbell said...

What? No guitar category? You were robbed!

At 6:55 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

LOL! You make me laugh, Sling-o.

The tests sounded like no fun...but you passed with flying colors! Whoo-hoo you! :)

I'm sure the right job is right around the corner for you...stay positive! :)

At 6:56 PM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

Seems like you could work just about anywhere you damn well please. I propose you go work for one of those banks that screwed us over and set things right.

BTW - Essential medical office skills - 95%? Essential medical office skills - Quick Test - 96%? Did you play doctor a lot with the neighborhood girls?

At 6:45 AM , Blogger Doralong said...

Medical office skills? come work for me honey! Nah, we'd never get anything done I suspect...

At 10:40 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

wow very good...I suck at the pressure of tests...
I think you qualify for city mayor..why dont you run for a city office...they pay and you get to spend peoples money.

At 12:52 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Willym- It is hard to be taken seriously with a face like know what I mean.

Yellerdawg- We do have a $$Store!..It's on my list of places to check out.
..I haven't baked since that tragic sauerkraut and kielbasa quiche incident of '07.

Cowbelle- They actually do have a 'Music and Entertainment' category!..I chose to focus on things that I might sensibly make money at.

Miss HP- :) I am staying positive kid.I've been through this kind of stuff before.

Thinker- Ha!..I do have my share of experience playing doctor,but most of what I know I learned watching 'House' marathons.

Doralong- ..It is hard to surf the net with all those sick people milling about.

Sage- That would be totally cool!..but all this transparency in government spending under Obama could prove to be a real drag.

At 6:47 PM , Blogger booda baby said...

I think you'd administer a damn good test. I think that because I think you'd help me cheat. Not a lot. Just give me little hints like 'use the word 'diabolically' - it impresses the hell out of EVERYone. (It does, you know. I always think, when I read words like that, I'm going to use that and VERY soon. Only the chance hardly ever shows up.)

Hey, anyway, I thought we should start an online thingie and use my name: Adimations and gather all the talented peeps around here and do online ads for people.

Maybe I shouldn't have written that in a comments section. Probably sounds all 'oh, hell, she's drinking already, isn't she?'

At 3:46 AM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Ah Sling I am fucked if I know...too much on my plate at present...its a bit of a bastard here right nowwww....

At 9:00 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Booda Babe- Ha!..If you liked 'diabolically',yer gonna love 'pusillanimous'..I don't wait for reasons,I make 'em up as I go along.
Tell me of this online thingy you speak of.

Middle Child- DAMN.DAMN.DAMN!..
Therese,I am sooo sorry for your sister's loss.
It sounds like her husband was very well loved.

At 3:48 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

holy scores sling!!!! I remember when I took a "logic test" to get into nursing school (where logic is useless) a question was Explain this quote "You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear." I simply wrote.....suture material...


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