Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"Nice to See You NT!"...a rant

My dear friend Hat has given me a gentle nudging reminder that Friday was a long time ago in blog years,and I heartily agree.
I've been going back and forth about posting on the subject that has been occupying my mind for the last couple of days.I've written and deleted no less than 3 drafts,and decided I need to get some shit off my chest.

Let's talk about ex-wives,shall we?..

No,not mine..My first wife and I get along well enough,and my second mistake is someplace out of sight,no doubt kneeling at the footstool of Lucifer..So I'm cool.

My friend and room mate,The Lizzard King however,is having his life turned upside down by the selfish machinations of his vindictive ex-significant other "NT",..and it's pissin' me off.

Since their divorce,LK has had visitation rights to see their son,"Little Newt" on weekends.
LK works hard,pays his child support,and lives up to the agreement they had put in place at the time of their divorce.

Well don't ya know that in the last year,Miss Tramp has sunk her hooks into yet another unsuspecting schmuck,popped out a puppy,and shotgunned his ass into marrying her.
Now,Miss Roundheels spends her days,and his money "volunteering",and generally putting herself out there as some kind of model citizen..

She lives in a lovely 2 story home,and enjoys the benefits of having a new husband that is a successful business owner..Fair enough.
But she wants more..
Good god why do they always want more?..Always at someone else's expense.

She recently filed for a modification order to take one of LK's weekends away from him.
Her reasoning?..Well,she has so little time,what with her varied social obligations,to spend with Little Newt,that she feels she deserves to take two of LK's 8 FRIGGIN' DAYS A MONTH away from him..
You selfish,self centered,incredibly ignorant snatch!!

Excerpt from her petition:

"Little Newt also needs to have down time with his family in my home.Therefore,I am requesting that one weekend a month be spent in my care.our lives are much busier now with Little Newt in school,and his time with me is much more limited"...

Are you kidding me??
You insufferable bitch!!...
You get to tuck him in five nights a week.
Five days a week,you get to see him grow,and experience new things.
You are so wrapped up in your own perceived self importance,that it never even occurs to you that a boy needs time with his Father..

In truth,..I don't see any Judge in their right mind modifying the custody order based on her insane logic.
I've told LK as much,but still..He's in a constant state of worry 'till this is resolved.
He's my friend..He's a good man,an outstanding Father,and he doesn't deserve this kind of grief.

By the way...
All this volunteering she is so busy with?
She spends a few hours every day as a teacher's helper,..in Little Newt's classroom....Yeah,God knows she needs more time.

I'm not talking out of turn here.The Lizzard King knows I wanted to post about this,and I have his permission....Peace out.



At 6:56 PM , Blogger Lex Lata said...

Solidarity, brother.

Tell Lizard King I'm pulling for him, in a karmic kinda way.

At 8:43 PM , Blogger Monica said...

i'm all for father's rights. don't let lk buckle. damn i wish my mom was licensed in cali...

At 8:51 PM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

Sadly, this is an all too familiar story in our disposable society. My kid sister just went through this about a year ago and it caused a pretty big rift between us. I was completely on the side of my ex-brother-in-law. When the shit finally settled, the judge looked her square in the eye and said, "Look, we get it - you don't love your ex-husband anymore. But your kids do." and that put an end to that. Crossing my fingers your roomie gets a fair judge. Nothing worse than knowing the fate of your life (to say nothing of the life of that sweet lil punkin head) is completely out of your hands.

At 8:55 PM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

Also, what does "NT" stand for?
Nasty Trollop?
Nefarious Tramp?
Ne'er-do-well Trouble Maker?
uh...nope. That's pretty much allz I gots.

At 8:58 PM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

wait wait wait I got it
Nuptual Traitor.
Eh? Pretty good right?
Okay I'll stop now.

At 8:59 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Please tell LK that I'm pulling for him, too.

Man, this makes me really, really mad.

At 9:46 PM , Blogger Sling said...

lex- I'm flat fuckin' tired of fathers being treated by some(emphasis)women as nothing more than sperm donors,incapable of emotional attachment...It's a cliche that needs to come to a screaming halt.

monica- The most difficult part of this post,was desperately trying not to put all women in the same basket when it comes to child custody,because I know otherwise.
Still,I can't get over the sheer arrogance of her assumption that these things she believes,somehow make sense.
Like I said...I'm pissedd off.

Hat- I may rant about the legal system..God knows,I've tested it at every opportunity.
I do know this to be true!..Every Judge I've ever dealt with,was a wise and honorable jurist.I have an unerring faith in the system.

Plus!..okay.."NT" was my subtle way of using a word that even I loathe..check the title..nice to See(C) You(U)..."NT"..I couldn't help myself.
..but "Nuptual Traitor" truly rocks!

lorraine- I know you are doll.
As sure as I know that any competent Judge will see straight thru NT's ridiculous petition..Chris knows that too. :)

At 7:26 AM , Blogger Mom said...

My daughter's divorce was a painful thing to watch, and to say that I don't like her ex is an understatement. But, he is the father of my beloved grandchildren. They love him and need him in their lives. My daughter has made it possible for him to see the kids frequently and considers their need for a father more important that what she thinks of her ex. I hope the judge understands that kids need their father.

At 9:50 AM , Blogger Kimberly Ann said...

I wonder how she would like it if the judge said, "sure you can have one weekend, but he gets every friday". If he has to go through this, maybe he should consider if he wants the agreement modified to better suit him?

At 11:16 AM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

DOH! (slaps forehead)

At 12:39 PM , Blogger Natalie said...

I hope all works out what a crazy lady she seems to be.

At 1:32 PM , Blogger jp said...

I never would have gotten that title wordplay thing. But I'm glad you explained it, because that makes me happy. That's one of those few words I keep reserved for those who truly, truly deserve it.

Like this bitch.

At 1:46 PM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

Also, I just wanted to add a qualifier to my first comment about my sister, (because it made her sound like a bad person - which she is not): she didn't behave that way out of the same bitchiness that LK's ex seems to be. She just honestly didn't get it. As you said, I think a lot of people just assume that the same need for bonding applies with the father. She does now. Hopefully the Sea Ewe En Tea will have a wake up call as well.

At 3:03 PM , Blogger Doralong said...

It's women like that that give the rest of us a bad name..

At 3:40 PM , Blogger Nunnie's Attic said...

I will pray for him, Sling. This is the exact numero uno reason why I could never be a lesbian. I pretty much hate women. Granted there are few exceptions and for them, I am truly grateful. But there are so many like this bit...cu...as...Female that drives my point home.

My husband's ex wife is taking him back to court for the 2nd time in 3 years for more child support. And the kicker is - his daughter doesn't live with her. Oh her address is listed as his ex's - but she lives with her grandparents. His ex works weird hours - so fine. But where the fuck do you get off asking for more money when she doesn't even live with you? See? I hate women.


At 4:08 PM , Blogger the rube said...

next to the chinese, i fear women the most. i've learned the hard way that you better don't get them mad.

they go psychotic and the cops take their side 90% of the time. maybe the lizzard king can say a prayer to dirty jim morrison.

At 5:55 PM , Blogger Sling said...

***Beyatch Update***
Lizzard King went to see his lawyer today.She told him that NT really doesn't have any compelling reasons to have the order modified...and that she was a stupid snot-face..

At 6:10 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

Been on both sides of that fence...I am an ex and I have an ex-wife. I NEVER kept my kids from their fathers even tho they were alcoholic/druggie assholes.....and the bitch Steve was married to pulled the same crap over and over...plus wanting us to pay legal fees for her. We paid horse support...long story....and every financial pleasure we had with the kids for example school clothes buying was ruined. She is of a particular weird faith and even wanted us kept from attending back to school night...and Steve had JOINT CUSTODY. California sucks in this area. We sued the school district and fought the bitch and won several times. Tell LK to stand tall and tough and hopefully his lawyer is a bitch too.

At 6:14 PM , Blogger gina said...

NT is a f&(*ing BITCH! I HATE women like that. I have a friend who comes in here all the time with his amazing little 5 year-old boy and he's going through a lot of the same (only worse, if you can imagine) BS with her. This man spends every spare moment with his son, reading with him, teaching him, he's great. He now drives an hour each way to volunteer in his son's classroom a couple of days a week so he can spend more time with him, because though he had him 50/50 this summer, this school year his boy lives with his mother M-F. When my friend calls to speak to his son, he hears his ex in the background saying "tell him you don't want to talk to him, and hang up". Little boy, not wanting to make mommy mad, says "hi Daddy. I don't want to talk to you", giggles like it's a game, and hangs up. Come the weekend, he tells his daddy that his mommy won't let him call and won't let him come to the phone when his daddy calls. Who suffers? The child! And LK's ex... good grief! No, she likely won't prevail, but then again, I've dealt with judges in custody cases, and somehow the moms manage to convince the judge that they're just looking out for junior's best interest, that they're this poor, helpless mom who just wants to be with her child. I'm sorry... moms don't love their kids any more than dads, and don't deserve to be with them any more than dads do. This hits an all too personal nerve (The Spouse's ex was MUCH like LK's NT...and we fought for years - but WE had custody! Yay). Okay... gotta go now. Sorry for the rant. Tell LK I'll kick her ass if he wants.

At 1:05 PM , Anonymous tater said...

I feel your anger. My sister went through the same bullshit, but it was her asshole ex husband that was the __NT. He wanted to lessen his child support payments, so he tried to get more time with the kids, and be an equal custodian father. Problem is, he never met his current obligation of custody days, and is an awful parent. He is a doctor btw, and makes plenty of money. My sister is a hospice worker, and makes nothing. His whole strategy in court was to try and paint my sister as an evil lesbian mommy, that was corrupting his kids morals. ASSHOLE. The conservative judge (mr. family values), ruled on my sister's side! Actually made the bastard pay more child support!!! Justice does prevail at times, and I hope it is true in LK's instance too.

At 12:04 AM , Blogger more cowbell said...

Oh, I hate to hear this. It's always the kids who lose out.

NT might do well to realize there are many moms who would love for their kids' father to spend more time with them. Does she not realize how fortunate she is, that her son doesn't have to wonder why he's not a priority in his father's life? It's an advantage for her son; it seems she's thinking of what's convenient for her, rather than what's good for their little boy.

What about taking a weekend, but giving LK some weeknights? That might be good all around?

Reading over the comments, I'm reminded how difficult it is not to ascribe those characteristics to gender. For me - many of you know some of my story - I am often bothered by a tendency to feel this awful bitterness and resentment toward ex-husbands in general, and to sympathize with ex-wives, based on my own fucked up experience, and how it's affected my kids. But it's really not about gender at all - NT and my Ex are both acting reprehensibly in this area. Who loses ... their kids. My kids only see their dad once a year now. He and new wife/stepson are living WAY high on the hog, half a world away. New wife pulls the purse strings tighter every chance she gets, though they are quite wealthy.

If I could, I'd tell NT, things were so much better when we lived in the same town, the kids had access to both homes. Our schedule - which we made ourselves - was they went to dad's Tuesday/Thursday nights, and every other weekend. If a special event came up, we'd adjust, like if one of us planned a weekend with friends, "hey, can you take the kids?" no problem. Or "hey, I've got Friday off, and I thought I'd take the kids to Budapest, can we switch weekends?" It was good for everyone, especially the kids.

If I could, I would tell NT that I miss that very much. And so do my kids. If a child's dad wants to be present ... be glad.

At 10:52 AM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

I can petition the Goddess to bip her into a coma and whisper in the Judge's ear...or I can come over and just kick the shit out of her..i wish my sons dad would have opted for any visitation..he never ever saw them from the time they were 2-3 years old until they were teen agers..and when he tried to tell them what to do..my sons told him to go fuck himself..that and too late to play daddy now asshole...gee..wonder where they got that from?..

At 7:33 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

What can I add to all of that? She'll get hers one day but who suffers in between...? She could be such a power for good and equally for evil so it seems... give your mate comiserations from down under

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