Sunday, November 04, 2007

Not exactly Armageddon..

Yesterday,I experienced what we in the Geekosphere refer to as a "Catastrophic system failure"!
That's the actual technical term...Catastrophic.
As if Al Qaeda blew in on Hurricane Katrina,smuggling a mega-tsunami across the border in the heels of their air-Jordan's...And yet,that's exactly how it feels!
Is that shallow and self-centered of me?
Fine then.

Having my computer suddenly flash the blue screen of death,and blip off into oblivion is not necessarily tragic.Normally a simple re-boot solves the problem.
Every once in while however,no amount of wheedling and cajoling,(cursing..begging...and finally, crying),will breath life into my hard drive..umm..You know what I mean...Oh hell with it.

Comes now,the Viagra of computer repair,..the format.

Wipe everything out,and start over.A process I've described in great detail before,what with the tendency I have to push my laptop to the limit without regard to it's state of health.
Anywhiz..This is about me.

The greatest torture in this process is the whole "Windows Update" ordeal.
My installation software is two years old,and Microsoft likes to produce Three updates an hour,seven days a week.Consequently,there are 432,784 updates to download.(UPdates to DOWNload?..no wonder I'm dizzy)..
That shit slows my computer down to a snail's pace,so I'm taking this opportunity between "ready to installs" to post,because it's too hard to surf Bloggertown while that green hard drive indicator light is strobing fast enough to give someone a seizure.

432,784 updates to install..Right now,I'm on number 23.

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27 Comments:

At 1:13 PM , Blogger Citymouse said...

I would send some chicken soup for your sick 'puter, but i think a beer for the operator would be better. Hang in there!

 
At 2:46 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

I know this is simplistic approach to a really complicated problem...and I have suggested it before....you can spill that soup and beer city mouse is sending all over the keyboard and just have the whole thing go up in a puff of legal smoke...or...throw the damn thing out a window. Blue screens of death are eventually immune to antibiotics.

 
At 4:44 PM , Blogger Nunnie's Attic said...

See this falls under the same concept of why Elvis shot his TV...

Love,
Julie

 
At 6:29 PM , Blogger Sling said...

citymouse- If you look in your computer's user manual,you'll see that beer is on the list of tools you'll need...and a hammer.

rosie- I have yet to find the blue screen I can't turn green with a suitable application of high explosives.
Besides,..as my Great Uncle Bernie used to say,"I don't do retail!"

Julie- ..Elvis didn't have my patience...Of course,I don't have his talent,so it kinda equals out.
But not really.

 
At 7:23 PM , Blogger Doralong said...

Turn away from the dark side dear and come with me to the land of Mac..

Failing that, a stiff scotch and 50 zillion updates it is..

 
At 7:38 PM , Blogger Sling said...

doralong- Oh,..I'm seriously considering switching to a Mac!
I do believe my next computer will be one...
In the meantime,these regular bouts of insanity with Windows help stave off Alzheimer's.

 
At 8:21 PM , Blogger Kimberly Ann said...

Your update time sounds like every Tuesday at my house when we download the latest World of Warcraft patch. Closing in on level 70...

 
At 6:27 AM , Blogger Mom said...

Computers are diabolical creatures that are out to get you.Computers do not like people. Hal is real

 
At 8:21 AM , Blogger Princess Banter said...

The viagra of computer repair -- hahahahha brilliant!!!

 
At 8:34 AM , Blogger booda baby said...

When you're president, you can get your minions (a concept borrowed from Lorraine) to do stuff like reinstalling. I hear they're pretty good at computer stuff.

 
At 10:20 AM , Blogger more cowbell said...

Ohno! Didn't you just go through this not too awfully long ago? You know, I've considered Mac-ing it as well. My laptop is at least 7yrs old, I think that's about 107 in computer years. Lots of beer. Sorry to hear of your e-woes.

 
At 12:26 PM , Blogger jp said...

Remember, if your computer's hard drive stays hard for more than 4 hours you should seek medical attention immediately.

 
At 12:32 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Poor baby.

 
At 12:39 PM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

Okay everyone just -settle down!
Now then...step away from the Mac light. STEP AWAY!
(swooshes hand)
"These are not the droids you're looking for..."

 
At 12:42 PM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

crap. I hit 'publish' before I was ready. (got any Viagra for that lil problem, too?)
Anyway, haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'Once you go Mac, you start doing crack'?
Are you going to start using Firefox as your prefered browser now TOO?!
(weeps)

 
At 2:24 PM , Blogger Serena Joy said...

You're a brave soul, Sling. Every time I've ever installed a Microsoft update, my computer crashed. I don't do that any more, and my computer is healthier for it.

 
At 4:50 PM , Blogger Grish said...

I've found that a quarterly hard drive re-format is good for the soul...

 
At 5:41 PM , Blogger Sling said...

kimberly ann- I have absolutely no skill at computer games...
None.All those buttons.
My room mate's 6 year old son rocks 'em.

mom- My computer doesn't hate me,but it gets pissed when I ask it to do like 30 things at once.

princess banter- Nothin' worse than a withered hard drive.

booda baby- I get my own minions??..WOO HOO!..Presidential perks baby!

Cowbelle- I did just do this...dammit!
My laptop is only 2 years old.It should run like a thorughbred,and not a Missouri mule.

JP- If my hard drive stayed hard for 4 hours,I'd never have to leave the house!

lorraine- Thank you..I think I need more applesauce cake..and a coloring book.

Hat- I hear what your saying.I've been a Windows guy since 3.1.Still,everyone I know with a Mac seems well pleased.

Hat- Don't you hate it when that happens!!..Hitting publish before you're done can really lead to some embarrasing mishaps.
Thanks so much for dropping by,..and be sure to sai HI! to your whole



family.


serena joy- i'm having a particular problem with "Service Pack II"..I'm not going to install it this time around.

grish- Then my soul is goin' to Heaven 'cause it's spent it's time in hell!. :)

 
At 6:58 PM , Blogger the rube said...

yer smooth talkin charm may work on the ladies but bill gates and the boys seem to have your number.

have you thought about linux?

 
At 7:22 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Rube- HA!..No shit.
Bill and his posse are crampin' my style.
I used to run both Windows and Linux on my PC...You know the guy that developed Linux did so because he was pissed at Gates right?..Anyhow,I couldn't get my peripherals to run properly on Linux so I 86'd it...Maybe I didn't give it enough of a try though.

 
At 7:44 PM , Anonymous Tater said...

I'm with the beautiful Dora on this one. Mac! It automatically updates, never crashes, and is easy enough for a simpleton from Chicago.

 
At 8:13 PM , Blogger cs said...

I think there must be something in the air. HHM is downstairs as we speaketh, pulling out all the reboot discs and starting over on the old back-up puter. He is not allowed on my office lappie. he has blown up 4 already....he has that forlorn lost puppy dog look. The Twinks have left him for better things...crunchies, bedtime stories...snuggles....

He is all alone down there...and it is way too quiet. hmmmm

 
At 8:35 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

I don't suppose you could send an email with instructions on how to erase everything and start all over could ya?...or tell me which post has the instuctions on it...I am in dire need of doing it to mind..and will cost me $60+ to have it done..if I can do it myself..I will do something nice for you...will be able to use that windows thingy you sent me ...I know you're overwhelmed with all my technology terms..

 
At 11:29 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Done and done.

Also, this Mac smack is becoming very upsetting to me.

And also also, I am very happy to see the Sling/Iwanski O8 button on this here site. And you have a press conference tomorrow with the O-Town Gazette and then we take the shuttle to Weehawken for some damn thing...baby kissing or something...I'll check my note...gdammit...somebody erased my frakking hard drive. AGAIN.

 
At 7:48 AM , Blogger the rube said...

sonny is also running linux on an extra computer right now. he basically likes it but seems to have some of the same problems with peripherals.

 
At 11:52 AM , Blogger Natalie said...

That sounds pretty good right about now. My computer go shut down one day a few weeks ago and then I realized I forgot something s I went to turn it back on, nothing. No on no nothing. There is a light in the back by the internet connection so something is getting power but no fans no whirring nada. I am jealous of your trials and tribulations.

 
At 1:01 AM , Blogger Middle Child said...

I bloody well hate updating and all of that hype...

 

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