Thursday, February 14, 2008

Ask Sling

Dear Sling,
There is this girl in my neighborhood that I just can't stand.
People enjoy being around her,and that really pisses me off!
You see,I'm convinced that I am her superior in every way,and yet,with all my efforts,I can't get anyone to give a mad fuck about what I have to say!

Shouldn't everyone be dripping off my every word?

I mean,I took an intercourse in journalism in high school,and I have been known to turn the occasional phrase,so why is it that with my sterling attendance record at the Ronald Reagan school of Communications in Porksboro Illinois,nobody gives a rat's ass?
Even when I deign to drop my magnificent presence into bloggertown,I can't muster more than a disinterested,'Meh'...

Is it because I'm an insignificant,self-proclaimed-professional-semi-literate-wannabe?..
..or is it because I just suck?
Yours Truly,
Too Cool For You!..
Dear ankle biting,pathetically transparent,twinkie gulping,yappy little twat,...
..Yes!

Labels:

18 Comments:

At 9:25 PM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

Holy crap! heh heh

 
At 9:27 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Hat- Yeah,sometimes,I just get weary. ;)

 
At 10:13 PM , Blogger Speck said...

Humm...I musta missed the food fight over at the cool kids' table. Dang. I hate it when that happens.

I'll give you a rat's ass. Check your email.

 
At 10:49 PM , Blogger Mom said...

Dear Mr Sling, you are the coolest dude in town. We wait eagerly for every word that falls from you lips and strive to bask in your wisdom and your grace. We long for next post. Please do not fail your loving and adoring fans. we do need you.

 
At 5:47 AM , Blogger Sling said...

speck-A food fight would have been fun!
Instead,I had to listen all afternoon to a snippy little bitch that gets on everyone's nerves.Thanks for givin' a rat's ass! :)

mom- HA!..Okay mom..Thanks for your support.

 
At 7:15 AM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

there but for the grace of god go i.

 
At 7:55 AM , Blogger Doralong said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are so not right..

And it's one of the things I love about you.

 
At 8:07 AM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

how could you say that..you the master of wit, smooth rap and tap dancer..what's her name..i hate her already..

 
At 8:54 AM , Blogger Willym said...

See where intercourse with a Journalist got her?

 
At 9:43 AM , Blogger jan said...

Best advice column ever.

 
At 10:34 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Ouch. What the hell happened?

 
At 1:03 PM , Blogger sageweb said...

Have you told her about all your internet fans? Do I need to come up there and bitch slap her?

 
At 4:10 PM , Blogger Sling said...

billy P.- Naw,you got too much class to go there!

doralong- I love that saying. ;)

yellerdawg- oh,I don't think you can really hate her till you've spent at least 5 minutes with her.

willym- BWAHAHA!

jan- Thanks!..it's court ordered community service.

Rainey- Every so often,I'm subjected to an aquaintance of LK's that thinks because I work with my hands,and have a record,that I must be slow on the uptake.She likes to make little snippy remarks that I'm sure she thinks go over my head.She tried blogging,but don't you know she found it 'boring'..Well no shit!.I'm guessin' nobody wanted to have anything to do with her.

sage- Thanks for the offer kid,but I think I just did! ;)

 
At 4:08 PM , Blogger Serena Joy said...

LMAO! You give great advice.:-)

 
At 6:17 PM , Blogger citizen of the world said...

Okay, you really must hear the John Prine song Dear Abby. I could only find covers on it on YouTube, but this guy does a passable job:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuzjspMaafM

 
At 7:06 PM , Blogger more cowbell said...

pfffftttt ... uh oh ... was that the sound of a pierced ego deflating? Too good-- you see why we love you?

 
At 5:37 PM , Blogger Kimberly Ann said...

Dear Abby - huh, who needs the broad...

 
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