Friday, July 25, 2008

Neither rain,nor sleet,nor common decency..

Check out Bones,my next door neighbor's ferocious watchdog,behind a 4 foot chain link fence.
He's a full 5 inches high at the whithers,and weighs in at a respectable 3 pounds.
Bones is on the job 24/7,alerting the neighborhood to all and sundry would-be intruders.
It took me 4 months to finally get him to stop barking at me,and another couple of months before he'd garner enough courage to let me reach over the fence,and scratch him behind the ears.

So, I'm sittin' on my couch long about 1:00 PM,and Bones goes on full alert!
I look out my bedroom window,and see the mail truck parked in front of our house.
I see the mail-lady get out of the truck,not with the mail,but a small can of..something.
I lose sight of her as she reaches my neighbor's fence,but Bones stops his barking,and she returns to the truck!

'Son-of-a-bitch! ..She just maced the little guy!..FOR NO REASON!'

By the time I get out the front door,and onto the porch,she's coming up the steps with our mail...and I'm pissed!

'Did you just spray that little dog for barking at you??'

'No!,..I yelled at him'...LIE #1.

'Well what was that can o' shit you had in your hands?'

'Suntan lotion!'.. LIE #2

I look over at Bones,and he's desperately rubbing his face on the grass.

'Is that why he's acting like THAT!?'..

'Yeah,..I yelled at him'.

Okay,I have two choices.
I can snatch her up by the hair on her head,drag her lyin' ass over to the truck,grab her mace,and shove it up her ass!..My first inclination...OR!..

I can look her dead in the face and say,'Yeah..Right'.

I chose the latter.
I also considered briefly,calling her supervisor and filing a complaint.But I reasoned that our little confrontation might be enough to bring her around to some kind of sense.
..Wait a minute,..there's someone at the door.

I shit you not!..

The supervisor came to inquire if I had yelled at her mail carrier!

'YES!..I did!'
It seems little miss mace has attempted to head off any repercussions for her nasty behavior at the pass,by reporting ME!

'Can you tell me what happened?'..

I relayed the story.
How I witnessed her go out of her way to torture a small,harmless beast,for what was clearly the sheer joy of it.

'Well,she said she's been bitten by that dog before and..


'I can't talk to you anymore!..That dog never bit anyone in it's life!
I'm not registering a complaint,but she needs to get a whole n'other route!'..

Well, I stormed in,and Mom o' LK went out and explained to her that I was thoroughly pissed..
It seems the supervisor already had her suspicions about this particular bitch,and just wanted to verify the whole incident.
I just can't imagine she'll be delivering mail in this neighborhood again.
We'll see.

This all transpired while I was writing this post,so I'm not exactly up to speed on my pissed-offed-ness.
I've found it helps me regain some balance,if I pick on my guitar a little.

**Today's Friday Video**

Streets of Laredo/Dust in the wind*

*With bonus mistakes included for your shopping convenience!



At 5:18 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

as much as i would love to tell you to bitch slap the bitch.she's a federal employee and the fed's will come haul your ass to jail..i know this because my neighbor squirted the mail man with a water gun and they came to her house, put her in handcuffs and took her to jail..i swear to the you have to report her..then when she's fired go bitch slap her...I'm a scorpio..I believe highly in revenge..

At 5:28 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Yellerdawg- This is why I let it go.
You hadda be there JS.I could see that she pulled up with the full intention of macing the dog.She literally had to go out of her way to do it.
..and then try to hand me her bullshit story,that was obviously rehearsed.Hell,for all I know,they get that story in mail-bitch training class.

At 6:25 PM , Blogger booda baby said...

I believe highly in not-revenge, so see? We balance everything out> :)
The flip side of not believing or advocating revenge is this deeper belief that peeps who are wrong, objectively and CLEARLY wrong, especially those who work under a corporate banner (and what's more corporate than the postal service?), owe it to me to explain themselves. Thoroughly. And not just explain, but correct things. Oh, my list of what I think they owe me is pretty damned long.

She was an asshole.

At 7:32 PM , Blogger more cowbell said...

May the dog of happiness piss on her leg.

That's ridiculous, considering the dog was safely behind the fence, and posed no threat to her. To mace a dog because you feel threatened is one thing, but to mace a dog because you feel annoyed, that's just wrong.

Maybe an envelope of Bone's warm steaming leavings for pick up?

Oh, and I was really excited about another Sling guitar video, but it told me your video was not currently available, and to try again later. ARe you messing with me?

At 8:02 PM , Blogger jan said...

Good for you for defending a little dog who can't plead his own case. Hopefully you can get a bad employee's ass fired.

At 8:12 PM , Blogger LostInCO said...

I hope she gets fired. Geez poor dog! Unbelieveable. I'm glad you were witness to her abusing poor little Bones.

Nice guitar playing. I try to play Dust in the Wind, but my version is 100 times slower, and google bunch of mistakes.

At 10:24 PM , Blogger Sling said...

booda babe- The more I think about it,the more 'splainin she needs to do.
It was just cold,and deliberate.I figure this is something that occurs on a regular basis.

cowbelle- Bones barks at everyone,and everyone just laughs at him because he is so not threatening.
No reason for her to have done that.

I got the 'unavailable' message as well.
I refreshed the page,and it worked fine.

jan- That's the funny thing.
I wasn't even trying to get her in trouble,she did that all on her own.

Lost- At a minimum,I don't wanna see her in my neighborhood again.
Maybe she'll think twice about it next time..maybe not.

At 2:11 AM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Be careful Sling - this sort of mongrel bastard knows just how to hurt you - look what she did to a poor little doggie. It breaks my heart to see such black cruelty and most of us here would feel the same. Thanks so much for the music- - you're a great guy as most of us know...maybe you'll get an opportunity to see that piece of muck fall on her fae in the mud one day - but if not hell has a special heat for those who hurt the harmelss and vulnerable amongst us and that includes the dogs who give us their devotion so easily.

At 6:47 AM , Blogger Willym said...

BITCH! Hope she gets her ass fired. And thanks for doing exactly what you did, not sure I could have had that sort of control.

The only upside is that you gave us another great video. Did I ever mention I think your bloody talented?

At 8:08 AM , Blogger austexgrl said...

Too bad you couldn't have filmed it...! The dog was contained, in a fenced area..he did not pose a threat. What did his owner think we he heard of the incident?
Excellent video, thankx.

At 8:36 AM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

feckin mailmen/ladies

i'm in a dispute with the mail assholes right now. i get old mail with a note "dog out" on it. ruby is in the back fenced yard but the lazy fecking mailman takes a short cut through the hedge right next to the low point in the fence.

unfortunately the mailman is in a strong union and pitbulls are always presumed guilty.

At 5:53 PM , Blogger cs said...

love your tunes...can't stand cruelty to animals....I cna; just imagine how she treats her kids---I get to deal with them! pooop rolls downhill, but sure would like to "sling" some back!

At 6:36 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the ten years or so that I've been carrying a little can of pepper spray with me when I walk, I have never once used it. I would if a dog (or, a man) attacked me, but I'd never just spray any creature for the hell of it. Can't even imagine doing that.

At 8:03 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

Two things:

1. That lady was a total bitch.

2. You're a good guitar player.

Glad you were able to settle yourself down with some music. :)

At 12:35 PM , Blogger more cowbell said...

Saw it! Love love love your talent with the strings, man.

At 7:26 PM , Blogger Serena Joy said...

What a cute little dog. And shame on that woman for macing the little guy. She should be ashamed. Of course, she won't be, so hopefully she'll get fired instead. Or REASSIGNED, since firing probably won't happen, either.

At 11:17 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

Oh this makes me sooo angry I want to drive 9 hours to kick that bitch's ass..

Now for the shirt on guitar wonderful...I can listen for hours...You are so handsome!

At 1:32 PM , Blogger evilganome said...

I hope the bitch gets fired! Good for you. I don't know if I would have had your self control.

Maybe her supervisor will bitch slap her for you.

Nice pickin' by the way.

At 2:53 AM , Blogger Middle Child said...

And then after all the bad stuff about the dog - I would just about kill anyone who hurt my poor old kelpie...

I came back to your music... what is it about someone who can play guitar, whatever? - its something else to listen to and you obvioulsy love to play - this shows... you could look like a dishrag (but you don't) and people would love to listen... I will have to force myself back to my old pianola - but makes me cry to play - much better to listen

At 8:04 AM , Blogger Allan said...

I hope Mailbitch doesn't have kids.

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