Thursday, January 25, 2007

There's no place like...

Today is 'Homeless census'day!

In an effort to calculate the number of homeless people in our little burg,hordes(30)of volunteers are scouring the length and breadth of O-town...

How exactly does that work?..I mean,It's not like you can just go door to door,inquiring after the number of indigents in the household.I was thinkin' maybe you could invite all the homeless people to the High School gym,and then take a quick head count.But what do you do with 'em afterward? Tell them, "Thanks, hit the road!..We gotta have this place cleaned up for the big dodge ball tourney in the morning"..That's messed up..

Turns out,The plan is to form teams,and go all over town asking people if they have a place to live,where they slept on Wednesday night,and the first three letters of their last name...Homeless people being well known for their willingness to answer a battery of questions posed by upwardly mobile types brandishing clipboards....I guess.

Wouldn't it be easier just to go to Wal-Mart,and count the number of people displaying "Will hold this sign for food" placards?...Well,I don't know about that,but I do know this!..Today is also "Thomas Crapper Day "..

Really,...You can look it up..


At 7:06 PM , Blogger Dan said...

Was Thomas Crapper homeless? Probably not ... because he wouldn't have needed to invent the crapper right? I mean, he would just take a dump ... you get the picture.

It breaks my heart about homeless people. It's gonna be VERY cold in New York City tonight. Poor people. I hope they can find somewhere to go.

At 7:41 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Dan-Seriously,I spent a winter in Colorado living in a broken down school bus,with no heat...Long story for another time perhaps.
HUD requires this census before allocating funds to individual counties for programs that provide food and shelter,as well as other vital services....A noble endeavor.

At 9:10 PM , Anonymous freakyfilly said...

i think they could invite the homeless to the school for free soup or pizza or something. that would be worth their time maybe. or free blankets. hmm. i remember an episode of andy griffith where opie befriends a homeless due who fishes all day. he was happy being homeless. made an adventure out of it.

At 9:18 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Freaky is in the house!!...Woo Hoo! :)

Anyone participating in the census receives a five dollar gift certificate at our local grocery store,as well as a five dollar phone card that can be used on any pay phone or land line..Every little bit helps.

At 9:58 PM , Blogger Freaky Filly said...

woo hoo!!!! go freaky, it's my birthday. lol. it feels good to finally be able to comment. that there deal gets two thumbs up. for 5 bucks at kroger right now you can get 30 packages of ramen noodles. hey some free hot water from a coffee maker at the local seven - eleven and you've got a months worth of dinner. hey, i know a kid who never eats anything but ramen noodles and corndogs and he is alive and fine.

At 10:14 PM , Blogger Sling said...

freaky- I shit you not!..You just described my entire menu during my homeless stint..about 3 months..
*HINT*..You can keep corn dogs frozen by placing them outside the bus during Colorado winter...and if you go to most convenience stores during morning rush (5-7 am) you can cook them in their microwave in exactly 55 seconds..

At 2:29 AM , Blogger Grish said...

What's it mean if that's my menu and I'm not

At 6:04 AM , Blogger ruby rocks said...

is there a bias in the count?

who is paying for the project? the politicians or homeless advocates.

who ever pays for the survey usually gets the results their after but that's just one dogs opinion.

At 8:33 AM , Blogger CSL said...

I'm glad they are offering something, although it's a drop in the bucket. It would be good to serve a meal at the same time, at least. But, yeah, it's especially sad in the winter in the colder states, and I can imagine there would be plenty of folks who would be guarded about answering questions.

At 10:39 AM , Blogger Citymouse said...

instead of counting them why not give them a place to live

At 11:10 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Utah winters are extremely homeless person unfriendly. I know in my own town, they open up various temp shelters from October through March which leads me to wonder, why not all year? I guess if it's not freezing outside the temp shelters don't work right. Same holds true for food banks that only work during the holidays.

At 3:37 PM , Blogger Allan said...

I was a Field Ops supervisor for the 2000 Census and one of my tasks was to find and identify all the hobo camps in my region. I was really good at my job.

At 4:34 PM , Blogger ~d said...

let me get this str8...$$$ is being spent to count homeless? ummm, couldn't the $$$ be better spent elsewhere?
(or, like, is this a joke i don't get the punchline to?)

came 2 u thru mouse, who found me thru dan who found me...i don't know how? thru the viper room???


At 7:08 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Many homeless because of the nature of their homelessness will not declare their homelessness. Better to go the the Soup Kitchens and hostels and figure out an average...triple it and then give out money be cold and homeless in winter does not bear thinking about.

Some of the billions spent preserving FREEDOM in the Middle East would soon sort out a bit of these problems.

At 11:41 PM , Blogger apositivepessimist said...

Hmm, how do they count the ones that can't write the placards?

Ring the homeless bell on the free feedbag wagon I guess, aye.

Thank god for the Crapster!

At 6:13 AM , Blogger ~d said...

Hey Sling,
I know you are correct. I just am worried. I already texted her, 8AM and told her the seats come out my van and I would drive over and we'd load it up. I am worried b/c her lifestyle is way diff from mine and I am concerned for my kids. But, of Course, I totally believe in karma. Totally!
Hell, I have a jolly hotei, a Mexican day of the dead cross, Parvati. a Celtic Christian cross and a heart, man.
thank you for the holla!
Nice to meet you!

At 8:08 AM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

just how fucking heartbreaking is that..did you see the 20-20 or what ever it was last night on the 3 poor families in camden new jersey..? oh, wow...

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