Saturday, July 28, 2007

What's wrong with this picture?..

I'll tell you what's wrong with this picture.
There's a HUGE empty space where my bicycle should be!
That's what's wrong with his picture.

Yep..It seems The Spirit of Oxnard was,umm,spirited away by some crack smoking bastard,even while I slept.
And don't ask me if it was locked.Of course it wasn't locked.It was supposed to be safe,and warm,in the sanctity of my OWN very porch!..dammit.
You know,if they would just knock on my door and say,"May I please have some money for some crack,so I don't have to jack your bicylce?",I wouldn't give 'em any,but still,that would be the civilized thing to do..
..I'm starting to take this shit personally..



At 10:04 AM , Blogger Danielle said...

Now we've established that I have a clean mouth but

What the fuck! I am so with you on the mindset of stealing, cheating and general fuckery.

There is no thought! I hate crack and that was most likely the goal. Crack or some equally soul numbing substance.

Sling, I feel your anger, and give you a big hug for the sake of it.

At 10:40 AM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

But surely the police will track the bastards down right?


Perhaps if you tell them that it had a baby seat attached to it...

with a baby in it.
Or something...dramatic...

like that.
Ok I'm going to go break something now.

At 11:08 AM , Blogger Sling said...

danielle-This is the second damm time in a few months I've had a bike ripped off!...thanx for the hug. :)

Hat-I wouldn't count on a cop to find his own ass with both hands..Maybe if my bike was made of donuts...

At 11:34 AM , Blogger the rube said...

i feel your pain.

maybe you should get a bait bike and catch the rotten nogoodniks in the act.

this is why a man needs several bikes. i often run across abandoned bikes while collecting cans in the morning. the crack heads steal them then leave em in the park. they're usually pretty trashed but i've salvaged a few parts.

At 11:34 AM , Blogger more cowbell said...

Bastards! Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you! Ooh, I'm pissed off, and it's not even me. May all our righteous anger energy find the little bastard and cause him to rack his jewels on the support bar during a sudden stop.

My daughter bought a bike at college -- named it Trigger. She loved that bike. She does not drive and is big into green transportation. It was stolen from a Metro station where she had it locked with a very expensive lock she purchased. She cried not just for the expense but because she really loved that bike.

I just don't understand thievery. Well, I guess I do, but how can folks take things without thinking about how hard the person may have had to work to get the thing you're stealing?

anyway. Curses on the little crackclown.

At 12:22 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Frakking bastids! That is seriously frakked up. Where's frakkin' Guido when you need him? I'm down for the search party if'n you want. I'm also thinking a fundraiser for a bike lock and a big siren thingy that goes "WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!" whenever anyone but you comes near your bike.

I'm really sorry, Sling. That sorta crap shouldn't happen to my favorite bartender.

At 2:08 PM , Blogger cs said...

Well that was not a pleasant thing to wake up to! Criminetly Sling! I hear ya'. Gives me the creeps thinking someone was lurking on the front porch or even watching your actions. shiversssss

Sending condolences...

At 2:25 PM , Blogger CS said...

I can't believe that's happened to you again! That truly sucks, and I'm sorry. - (the real) CS

At 2:56 PM , Blogger Sling said...

rube-We're seriously thinking of putting a video camera on the porch.
Normally there aren't any problems in our neck of O-Town.

More Cowbell-I don't drive either,so my bike is pretty important to me.I'll be getting another this weekend.

lorraine-It seems Guido was at home,nursing a huge hangover.
Something about 18 year old Scotch and squishy crickets..

cs(lower case)-Crap!..I wasn't even thinkin' about them watching me!...I feel so dirty.thnxfor stopping by! :)

CS(upper case)-I know!..It's like I'm the O-Town distributor of free bikes or somethin,..

At 4:36 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Okay Sling...drown your sorrows today, but tomorrow some strategy... a mind like yours will come up with something, something you can attach to that bike every night, if not a Bull Mastiff, then something as previously suggested which makes a loud noise, stinks, sprays (how about a feral cat)... ha ha ha ha.

I hope it wasn't a super expensive one and that you can replace it.

At 4:56 PM , Blogger Sling said...

middle child-I'll just have to start bringing it in the house at night,althouh the feral cat idea has merit!
No problem replacing it.I don't need anything really expensive.

At 5:01 PM , Blogger Serena Joy said...

Oh, no, that's awful! Those damned crack thieves will steal anything not nailed down. And sometimes they'll bring a crowbar if it IS nailed down. I'd position the video camera inside or they'll steal that, too. Happy shopping for a new bike.

At 5:42 PM , Blogger Sling said...

serena joy-Oh,I know how crackheads are...
Whoever took it,eyeballed it a few days ago,did the recconoiter,and then hooked up with the guy holding the bag,"Hey,..You wanna really nice bike?"..Once he got the nod,my bike was history.

At 6:03 PM , Blogger Lex Lata said...

Cattle rustlin' has a certain rustic charm. Car stealin' can be sexy. But runnin' off with a man's bike is like school in the summertime.

No class.

At 6:16 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Lex- No Character..No class..Thank you

At 11:17 PM , Blogger Princess Banter said...

Hey whaddya know -- it's a good excuse to go out there and pamper yourself with the purchase of a new bike!!! :)

At 3:04 PM , Anonymous jan said...

Stealing a bike from a porch is the pits. It gives crackheads a bad name.

At 4:50 AM , Blogger Citymouse said...

i find it unreal that someone would do this!!!! That just sucks

At 3:41 PM , Blogger jp said...

I'm adding the crackhead bicycle stealers to my list of people that I hate.

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