Friday, April 25, 2008

Daily ritual..

Like most bloggers,I have a morning routine that I strictly adhere to.

My alarm clock is set precisely for 5:21 AM,so that I can hit the snooze button,and gain an additional 9 minutes in which to decide whether or not I want to call in sick for work...I almost never do.
And like most bloggers,I wonder at the genius who decided 9 minutes was some kind of standard time increment for people to deal with first thing in the morning...Asshole.
At 5:30 AM,I crawl out of bed,and like most bloggers,I boot up the computer,and tune the TV to the local news slash weather.
By this time I'm conscious enough to go into the kitchen,and nuke me a cup of coffee left over from the day before.
I'm sure most bloggers know that at this point,it's time to go out on the front porch,and enjoy a blissful morning cigarette.It's cool and crisp at this time of the day,and one can fully appreciate the sublime burning sensation of that initial drag.
Back in my room,I check my blog and e-mail,and marvel at the cheerful delivery of the talking heads while they apprise me of all the catastrophes that have occurred while I slept.No one can lighten up a tragic fire at the orphanage like young Ashlee of the blonde persuasion...I must have her.
Once I've finished my lukewarm coffee,and am satisfied that I'm fully updated on all the happenings around the great Town-of-O,like most bloggers,I spin a favorite 45 on the victrola,and dance around my room naked.

Now I'm ready to start the day.



At 7:17 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pretty sure that song will be stuck in my head all day now.

But so will the visual of dancing naked Sling, so it's a win win.

At 7:38 AM , Blogger LostInCO said...

What jp said about the song being stuck in my head.

At 8:15 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now we actually have an official song for naked morning blogger dancing!

At 8:17 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Oh, holy crap. Seriously. I had the song playing and was scrolling down, as I'm wont to do, to check up on comments to previous posts and ding dong if the little Meez Sling wasn't just sitting there strumming and singing RIGHT ALONG WITH THE SONG!

I'm not making this up.

At 8:53 AM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

of all makes sense now..the naked dancing in the morning..i miss naked dancing in the yard to make rain ....i think the old farts around here would object to me dancing naked in the parking lot ...sigh*...
you know i have heard that song a bazillion times and this is the first time i really noticed ....there's no musical instuments in that song......huh!

At 3:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just thinking about this song a few days ago! weird.
And now I must away to search for this mysterious man all dressed in green...
It's rumoured that he's no man a'tall, but actually some type of "loving machine".

At 4:02 PM , Blogger Sling said...

JP- I was afraid you were gonna rag on me for playing a song that's been featured in two Tom Cruise movies!

lostinco- Well if you gotta have a song stuck in your head,this is a pretty good one.I mean,I almost played the theme from 'Exodus'.

Rainey- This deserves to be the official naked morning blogger song I think.It's bright and cheery,and makes little enough sense that you can't help but start the day thinking,'It can only go up from here'...and now the Sling Meez guitar thingy is creepin' me out.

Yellerdawg- I figured it would answer a few questions that my readers may have had on their minds.
You know,we're having adrought here in NorCal,so I'm pretty sure you can get a government subsidy to dance naked in parking lots all across the state!..I'll look into it.

Hat-tasia - You got flag burning grannys,kings killing people dead over a 5 dollar bet,and all you can focus on is the green clad love machine.
I love that about you!

At 7:08 PM , Blogger Citymouse said...

It is like a naked blog club!!! One of my favorite morning songs!

At 7:13 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Mouse- How can you listen to this song,and not wanna take yer clothes off??
..can't be done.

At 10:03 PM , Blogger Mom said...

I am not sure i like the visual image I am getting of the whole of Blogland dancing naked in a line led by a naked Sling. Oh my.

At 11:34 PM , Blogger danny/ink2metal said...

hey sling,

is iko iko just for friday morning naked blogger dancing? or can it be used for any other weekday? and what shall i dance to tomorrow morning, saturday?

just wondering...

At 12:54 AM , Blogger Sling said...

mom- You know,I can understand your concern,and I sympathize.
Try cosidering the whole thing while under the influence of great quantities of cheap brown liquor!..should help. ;)

danny- Iko Iko may be used any day of the week,but only under adult supervision.
Which reminds me.
Children,be sure to supervise your adults..

At 5:29 AM , Blogger HORIZON said...

Glad you have the dance at the end Sling- can't imagine the reaction of neighbours if you changed the order of things and did it during your smoke! Nice song :)
LOL- l actually thought the exact thing as Lorraine- your Meez mouthed and moved to the music spot on- scary!

At 5:37 AM , Blogger Gerald said...

Matey you just reminded me of the joy of the first drag of the day. I stopped (under threat from Horizon and the nicotine police)but I remember as only ex smoker can that first gasp and cough that made the morning sigh. NBDancing (Scotland) Division available for Weddings, Masonics, Bar Mitzvahs etc.

At 1:05 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

that first drag on the cigarette used to be heaven for me.

i'll sign up for which ever religion has free smokes and whiskey.

At 2:24 PM , Blogger cs said...

Oh boy...what an act to follow...the naked groupies, puffing away, swaying along like a polka dance heading to the kitchen for a bowl of frosty flakes.... all naked....what a visual. My mornings will never be the same thank you very much. Oh Sling, how many principal slips will get this week?

At 3:08 PM , Blogger Doralong said...

Do the cats join the conga line?

At 4:03 PM , Blogger Sling said...

horizon- I accidently changed the order one morning!
Sadly,no one noticed.

gerald- NBDancing (Scotland) Division available for Weddings, Masonics, Bar Mitzvahs etc...
HA!..Do we get The Royal Scots Dragoon Marching Band to play?..I love those guys!
Thanks for dropping by matey. :)

billy P.- Hell,we'll start our own religion!
You can be Lord High Pontificate in charge of Marlboro's and Maker's Mark.

CS- Sometimes,ya just gotta dance naked.

doralong- Gizzy just sleeps through the whole ritual,and Drooly gives it the evil eye!

At 5:10 PM , Blogger Serena Joy said...

LOL! That sounds like a pretty good morning routine. I think everybody would feel better with a little naked dancing in their lives. That 9 minutes thing wouldn't work for me, though. I set my clock for an hour before the time I actually have to get up.:)

At 5:41 PM , Blogger Sling said...

serena joy- Okay,I lied about one thing.
Nobody drinks luke warm coffee first thing in the morning.
The 9 minute thing continues to baffle me.

At 10:29 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

My morning routine is exactly like that! Well, only the snooze button part, but still, I can tell we're kindred spirits.

At 11:53 AM , Blogger Sling said...

citizen- I fully expect tha Naked Morning Blogger Dancing occurs in the hearts of all my blogpals! :)

At 1:13 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Brrr....s'getting chilly here... long past the tim fo year for age old 54's to be dancing naked anywhere. Even olde worlde menopausal me has to finally admit a hot flush or two would be not too bad... as you slide into your day (and clothes no doubt) and summer, we slide into our winter... the days shorter...don't miss the heat but miss the long days...the music is stuck...its 6am so... been a while since I hummed anything....

At 7:24 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...


Long-time reader/admirer, first time commenter... :)

The 9-minute snooze is strange! I was so curious that I took to looking it up on google. According to the Jewish World Review (the world's authority on everything, you know!):

By setting the snooze time to 9 minutes, modern digital alarm clocks only needs to watch the last digit of the time. So, if you hit snooze at 6:45, the alarm goes off again when the last digit hits 4 - at 7:54. They couldn't make the snooze period 10 minutes, or the alarm would go off right away - or the clock would take more circuitry.

Historically speaking, there's another element to the answer. Clock experts say when snooze alarms were invented, the gears in alarm clocks were standardized. The snooze gear was introduced into the existing mix and its teeth had to mesh with the other gears' teeth. The engineers had to choose between a gear that made the snooze period nine-plus minutes or 10-plus minutes. Because of the gear configuration, 10 minutes on the nose was not an option.

So there you go! Now you don't have to wonder any more...

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