Monday, April 21, 2008

If only they had used their powers for good!..

Emboldened by the success of last Wednesday's Diet Coke and Mentos extravaganza,Nick and I decided to enlist the aid of our good friend Tyson,over at research and development.
I had noted that we needed a better Mentos delivery system and Tyson,after five days without sleep,reams of mathematical calculations,15 tuna sandwiches,and 7.6 gallons of 'Ice Blue' gatorade,emerged from his dimly lit cubicle with this marvel of ingenuity!

It's a Self-Contained,Ball and Cock,..(Oh jeez,..you people are incorrigible!)..Confection Retainer and Manual Excitation device!

(..ummm,..we'll decide on a more viable retail monicker at our next stockholder's meeting).
PLUS!.. he brought it in at slightly less than $183,000.00!

By an amazing coincidence,we had just enough cash left in the corporate coffers to purchase the requisite two-litre bottle of Diet Coke,and an entire pristine roll of Mentos (most refreshing) Mints,..except I ate one,so really it was very nearly an entire roll,..but still.





I'd like to acknowledge the invaluable help of Ms. Hat,who guided me through the intricate process of turning my crappy sideways videos 90 degrees to the right!..Thanks Sunshine. :)

We think we can bring the final offering price down to $19.95 (plus S&H),and are presently researching peripheral applications..

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22 Comments:

At 9:15 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

iiiii dont know...it just reminded me of my second husband..

 
At 9:20 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Yellerdawg- Oddly enough,it reminded me of my second wife.

 
At 2:46 AM , Blogger Willym said...

Your Self-Contained,Ball and Cock Confection Retainer and Manual Excitation seems to ejaculate just fine. Any higher and it could have a career in porn.

 
At 3:58 AM , Blogger Doralong said...

May you never use your talents for evil..

 
At 8:35 AM , Blogger LostInCO said...

thanks Hat for helping Sling with his sideways videos. I got a crick in my neck from the last one.

 
At 10:31 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Tyson deserves a raise. Although, for my $19.95, the earlier delivery system was more exciting.

 
At 11:07 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

That is an amazing product. Any thing that takes manual excitation has to a wonderful product...dont know about the self contained ball and cock but it looked fabulous.

 
At 11:28 AM , Blogger Kimberly Ann said...

Quick, call Ron Popeil! There is an infomercial time slot with your name on it.

 
At 3:57 PM , Blogger Sling said...

willym- You can't really tell,but it shot a steady stream about 12 feet up till the very end when I zoom in...Cool.

doralong- ..too late.

lostinco- I knew Hat would have a trick up her sleeve..Hey!,..Hat trick!

Rainey- He really does.
He went out and spent thirty bucks just to see if it could work.

sage- The ball and cock system holds the mints in the tube till you turn the handle,and they release all at once!..Yep..Still sounds dirty.

kimberly ann- I'm not speaking to Ron,ever since he stole my idea for spray on hair.

 
At 4:31 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

I'll be watching 2AM TV and waiting for your infomercial....$19.95 is a bit steep....if i buy 4 do I get a discount?

 
At 4:34 PM , Blogger Doralong said...

Ah, but I have faith in you sugar- truly.

 
At 4:59 PM , Blogger Sling said...

rosemary- But wait!..If you buy one today,we'll send you a second one absolutely free!!..all you do is pay $19.95 for shipping and handling.

doralong-Oh,I'm bein' good now!..mostly.

 
At 5:53 PM , Blogger booda baby said...

We're all very happy about the 90 degree shift. Can we try getting a wee bit closer next time? That was way too safe - computer screen as the ultimate safety goggles. I want a little ball and cock shrapnel. Or fizzy splatter. You know. Something. Can you manage that next time? Thank you very much for considering my suggestion.

 
At 9:12 PM , Blogger Mom said...

After careful thought we have decided that your SCBCCRME does not meet our requirements at the present time. this is not to say that it is not a fine device, just not something that meets our present needs. Please feel free to submit any future inventions for our review.

 
At 10:13 PM , Blogger Auld Hat said...

Why am I turned on?

 
At 4:51 AM , Blogger Citymouse said...

i remember when my kids did this and it backfired on the aunt who got full of diet coke--- fun days

 
At 1:21 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

And he did what you asked of him the first time, "Put your face over it"

 
At 1:44 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

if 1 order within the next 15 minutes do i get free ginzu steak knives?

 
At 3:07 PM , Blogger Serena Joy said...

I don't even know what to say, except -- LMAO. Boys and their toys.:-)

 
At 6:14 PM , Blogger cs said...

Sling! Oh I can just see you in line going down the hallway to recess...you'd end up in the principals office in 15 seconds! Don't you listen to what those 2 science guys say on TV before the show starts?
"Folks, DO NOT try this at home."

tsk tsk ...DO NOT let Quince see this!

 
At 10:24 AM , Blogger citizen of the world said...

One of my early posts was about this experiement. No vide, but a pretty cool photo:
http://alittleoffkilter.blogspot.com/2006/06/back-off-man-im-scientist.html

 
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