Monday, September 15, 2008

No postage necessary if mailed in the United States..

Like most bloggers,I've done something so incredibly stupid,that I hesitate to admit it.
You know,..that thing you did that time,that if it were made public,you'd have to change your name,delete your blog,and move to another town!
A full blown moronic act whose revelation would require you to resign from the human race,and wander the world aimlessly,..your head forever hung in shame!!

Well fortunately for me,I have no shame..So lemme tell ya all about it:

Many years ago,my older brother came to live with me as a condition of his parole.
I forget what year that was exactly,but I do remember that it was an election year,and I asked him if he wanted to register to vote.

"I can't..I'm a convicted felon"..

"Well" I said.."That just sucks!"

And therein lies my transgression.
I took that statement at face value.Never questioning it..Never pursuing it.
Filing it away with all those other bits of common knowledge that I knew were an absolute fact.

Fast forward to the present..

I'm coming out of Food-Maxx recently,and there's a guy,sitting at one of those card tables,hawking people to register to vote.

"I can't buddy,..I'm a convicted Felon"

"Are you on parole?"..


Well guess what!
You may register to vote in California if:

You are a United States citizen.
You are a resident of California.
You are at least 18 years of age (or will be by the date of the next election).
You are not in prison or on parole for a felony conviction.
You have not been judged by a court to be mentally incompetent.


I've been laboring all this time under the delusion that I couldn't vote!
I mean,..I've got the felony conviction,but corrections isn't prison,and I've never been on parole,having completed my entire sentence.

So there you have it.
The proper paperwork is in,and ol' Sling has joined the ranks of those that have a legitimate right to bitch about the way things are run in this country!
(Which I have been doing illegitimately all this time..See..No shame).

You can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be at the front of the line,come election day in November!

..Assuming of course that some judge doesn't read my blog,and declare me mentally incompetent..

Have a great week kids!



At 2:30 PM , Blogger sageweb said...

Sweet! I am happy for you. How come all the republicans get to vote...none that I have met are mentally competent? Must be a loop hole somewhere.

At 3:03 PM , Blogger Doralong said...

Yay you!!!!!!! The more truly bright, compassionate people like you that get out- the better our chances are to take our country back from the fucking assholes that are bent on destroying it! Why yes precious, I am bitter..

At 3:49 PM , Blogger jan said...

The way voter registration is now, I think even dogs can vote if they have dishonest owners.

At 4:21 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

i like to vote for the candidate who has no chance of winning. that way it ain't my fault when the corruption hits the fan.

i'm leaning towards the marijuana party on october 14.

At 4:29 PM , Blogger danny/ink2metal said...

hey sling,

i'm with sage. if you're not voting republican then you should be allowed to vote. feloniously or not!


At 5:48 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Sage- Barring Republicans from the polls will be the first thing I lobby for in my new status as a registered voter!
The power is intoxicating.

Dora- You're not bitter..Just aware!

jan- I'm off to register Gizzy,and Cat-with-no-name even now..Democrat,of course.

Billy P.- I can see allowing felons to vote,..but Canadians?
I thought you guys had like,a Queen or something.

Danny- Sage makes an excellent point!
Still,I think whipping them soundly,and sending them packing in November might prove to be most satisfying.

At 6:39 PM , Blogger Mom said...

Hooray! With your vote being counted Obama may just win this thing.

At 6:43 PM , Blogger austexgrl said...

Hey go guy! Vote!! and we support vote for the person of your CHOICE!! All I ask educate yourself and your vote is an informed vote! I am so happy for you.

At 8:08 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...


At 9:04 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd say you're at bigger risk of the government finding out that you're TOO competent to vote. They don't seem to like that.

And you really should name that cat.

At 10:09 PM , Blogger Sling said...

mom- It gets even better.
I picked up a voter registration form for Lizzard King while I was at it. :)

austexgrl- Any and all kidding aside,I'll do my best to make an informed decision...Promise.

Big Yeller dawg- Fucking A!!!

JP- If the government comes around asking any questions,I'll just say,'Hot Damm!..That Sarah Palin is one fine lookin' piece of ass!'..
That should buy me some time.

At 7:25 AM , Blogger LostInCO said...

Oh Sling, I want to give you a great big HUG! This is awesome!

At 8:51 AM , Blogger Willym said...

That is bloody awesome! I am still one of those people who believes that every vote counts - except in Florida but that's history so....

We've got an election coming up October 14 in Canada and this will be the first time I've voted out of country. I get to choose my riding so I think I'll got to Mr Harper, our current Prime Minister's riding. Not that my negative vote will stop him but it will feel good to vote against the son of a bitch. Sadly Canada is leaning right and doesn't look like its going to get on keel for a while!

At 1:03 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Lost- Woo Hoo!..I love free hugs! :)

willym- I'm in complete agreement with you on every vote counting.

'I get to choose my riding so I think I'll got to Mr Harper, our current Prime Minister's riding'...I'm not familiar with the term 'riding'..Is that the same as 'opponent'?
I'd really like to know.

At 2:55 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

Hot Damn.....

At 5:40 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

Dude, you're hilarious! And I'm sure very glad to hear that you can vote! Whoo-hoo! Congrats! :)

At 7:15 PM , Blogger cs said...

Well gosh by golly! Isn't that just about the greatest little gift you've had all week? Down right fanciful.

Sharpen your pencil mate!

Now let's see if we can afford to vote. Will the poles be open or in foreclosure?!

At 7:42 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Rosie- Shit fire and save matches!

MHP- Thanks kid! :)
I've been giddy as a schoolgirl with a mustache since I found out.

CS- I'll tell ya straight up,the worst part of the whole felony thing wasn't the arrest,conviction,or time served.
It was my (perceived) loss of the right to vote...
..I think our polling place this time might be in a refrigerator box under the bridge,down by the river.

At 8:12 PM , Blogger Citymouse said...

Wow! You see, I thought the same thing --- I will now go on to check the laws in IL !!!

At 9:00 PM , Blogger booda baby said...

That's THE single coolest story and piece of news!!

It oughta be in one of those Heloise' Hints columns.

Besides that, I'm just really glad you get to vote. I wish voting was a hobby. I'd do it all the time. I love to vote.

Are we going to have a party?

At 9:55 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Mouse- I ran over to Illinois' site to check...I couldn't find anything prohibiting felons from voting..Now,I'm curious why you are curious.
Have you been naughty? ;)

booda babe- Oh,we'll have a party all right!!..As soon as Obama whups the tar outta Mccain.

At 8:26 AM , Blogger Allan said...

That's good news! Use that right!

At 9:20 AM , Blogger Sling said...

allan- Pretty cool huh! :)
Rest assured that I'll use it responsibly.

At 10:23 AM , Blogger Willym said...

Sorry Sling I was using the Canadian term. A riding is the same as a district - we use the English term. Been trying to check the Etymology and the nearest I can come is that it was a Yorkshire term for district left over from the time of the Viking rule.

At 10:38 AM , Blogger Sling said...

willym- I see!..Thanks buddy. :)

At 12:05 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

and we need your vote now more than ever...

At 6:34 AM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Now you can do some real damage...VOTE - its compulsory down under.... no matter what


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