Saturday, April 25, 2009

Ask Sling..

Dear Sling,
Would you please explain to me why all those Left-wing,drive-by media Liberals are up in arms over enhanced interrogation techniques?
I mean,come on,how can you call 'waterboarding' torture?
It sounds to me like one of those joyous rides at the waterpark,where you are treated to some refreshing respite from the relentless Summer heat.

It even has the word 'Enhanced' in the description,..just like my new-and-improved laundry detergent,which always keeps my favorite Bundist uniform smelling Spring time fresh!

Besides,if it really was torture,how could some one survive the experience 168 times?
You'd think that if it were at all unpleasant,those evil people that aren't real Christians would have given up secret terrorist information things after only 80 or 90 sessions,which they most certainly did NOT!

..I think I've made my point.

It seems clear to me that waterboarding isn't any more like torture,than playing in the sprinklers as a child.

Yours truly,
Lush Rimjob

Dear holy flyin' shit!.
Would some body PLEASE save me from psycho-brain-washed,twist the legal semantics until you come up with something to convince yourselves you can get away with violating international law,unscrupulous self-serving and reactionary sociopaths like you fuckin' pathetic ditto-heads?
Don't you freakin' get it??
NOBODY is buying the medieval rationale behind your desire to exercise your sadistic fantasies in the name of 'National Security'..
..son of a friggin' bitch.

Anyway..I'm here to help, here is my advice;

CONGRATULATIONS!..YOU are the winner of our random 'Summer of Fun' drawing!..
This entitles you,and a friend,to an all expense paid trip to Sling's Domain,where you'll be treated to the spectacular thrill of our new and invigorating 'Electric Rectal-Cattle-Prod and Genital-Piercing Carnival Extravaganza'!..

But wait!..There's more!

Mention your exclusive password,..'Dick Cheney',..and you'll receive an additional 167 rides,..Absolutely Free!

..It's the perfect Summer time treat.



At 3:11 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Does cotton candy come with that or do you have to buy it separately?

At 3:13 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

it would have been a lot easier an cheaper to bring in the amazing kreskin.

At 3:26 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Rainey- Hell,I'll throw in the cotton candy at no extra charge..and just like waterboarding,it's made from real cotton.

Billy P.- ..not to mention,the results would be far more accurate.

At 7:25 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

LOL! I read this aloud to Iwanski, and we laughed and laughed. :)

On a serious note, last night we watched a clip on youtube of Christopher Hitchens getting water-boarded--by his own choice, of course. He lasted all of 10 seconds (if that) before he stopped it. He said that people need to stop saying that it's "simulated drowning"--because it IS, in fact, DROWNING. It was horrible to watch. Whoever says it's not torture is a complete asshole moron.

At 10:35 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Miss HP- I grew up body surfing in the ocean.
Three times I nearly drowned,and ended up dragging myself barely on shore,puking up sea water.
It takes a couple of days for all that salt and H2O to clear your system..The headaches,and chest pain are excruciating!
I'm just sayin' that repeating that process over 100 times is not exactly a trip to Disneyland.
But you know that. :)

At 11:02 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

ah,you slick talking sonofagun you...such a way with words...i'd like to waterboard them till it spews out their asses...

At 10:46 AM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

Oh I wonder who Lush will choose to take with him..... I hope it's Cheney himself. I've heard more from that man in the past 60 days than during the entire Bush administration. I guess not being the man behind the curtain anymore has freed up quick a bit of his time.

At 12:54 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really think it's time for Ask Sling to get syndicated.

Does anybody know when Judge Judy's job is opening up?

At 7:10 PM , Blogger sageweb said... made me laugh till my clothes fell off.

At 11:32 AM , Blogger LostInColor said...

Syndicated Sling??? I'd go for that! Sling you are too funny!

At 3:09 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

I am sure the Inquisitors both Cahtolic and Proddy, the witch burners, all those monstrous people who down through human history have sought to justify their evil, used the same justifications... How many additional rides for a george Bush mention

At 12:26 PM , Blogger Sling said...

It continues to amaze me how deep in denial the core group of people that claim it isn't torture really are.
The closest thing I've heard to a repudiation is Newt Gingrich answering 'I don't know' when asked if he thought it was torture.
What's not to know??..
Sen. Arlen Specter knows what time it is.
He bailed on the Republicans after 40 years,and declared himself a Democrat this morning.

At 11:35 AM , Blogger rosemary said...

And there are those mouthpieces who say to stop this "interrogation technique" will create more if water boarding will make them say to themselves....holy crap I'd better give up my devious ways or i might get some more of the same. Ummhum.

At 1:32 AM , Blogger Mimi's Pa said...

There's a water shortage here, so torturers have to resort to sandboarding.


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