Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Sometimes,..it's not all glamour and excitement.

I reported to work last Tuesday,as a freshly minted member of the O-Town Housing Authority.
This is my new headquarters!--->

Or,as those of us in the inner circle refer to it,..'The Shop'.
I had shaken hands with the Head Honcho in Charge of Welcoming the New Guys the day before,and thanked him for the opportunity.

'Don't thank me yet',.he cautioned..'You haven't met your new Partner'.

'Beg yer pardon?'

'He's a cranky old bastard!'..

'Curious?'..I thought to myself.

Apparently,Head Honcho regards that as some kind of character flaw.
..Go figure.

Much as I suspected,it turns out that Partner and I are birds of a feather..Cut from the same cloth..Any number of colloquialisms one might choose to apply.

We'd gone about the morning business of assessing the sprinkler function in one of the county's numerous complexes,and enjoyed our lunch in the community day room,..when Partner allowed,

'I'm gonna take a nap in the truck..Wake me when lunch break is over'..

'No problem!..I'll go outside,and have a cigarette'.

'Just make sure you smoke that goddamm thing downwind from ME!'

'HEY!..Take yer fuckin' nap UPWIND from ME!'..
Thus,..the bonds of lasting friendship were hermetically sealed.

Having established a mutual disregard for the other's foibles,we concentrated just yesterday on the biggest problem facing landscape technologists the world over.
Finding the perfect 'fill dirt'.
This ain't no small task!..

New concrete walkways had been installed at the Park Place facility,and it was our mission to fill the subsequent devastation with soil suitable for applying a nice level playing field to encourage the growth of fragile 'Kentucky Blue' grass seeds.
Do you know how hard it is to find decent dirt?
I'll tell ya how hard it is to find decent dirt..

It's a common misconception amongst the general public,that the government maintains great underground bunkers filled to the brim with the dirt they've accumulated from,..you know,..digging undergound bunkers.
(See the beauty of that scheme?)..

But no..

We drove around to every likely location in the O-Town municipality.
We went to and fro'...Hither and yon,..Eastside,Westside..All around the town.
Every where we attempted to drive our pointed shovels into the county owned earth,we encountered bedrock no more than 1/16 of an inch below the surface.
Holy..Flyin'..OWWW!

After several unsuccessful attempts,I wondered aloud..

'Why don't we just roll up on some body's yard in our official 1997 Ford F150
County Truck,..and confiscate THEIR dirt?'
..

'What??'

'You know..We could just claim it was Imminent Domain!'..

..'You're one sick sonofabitch Sling'.

Now I ask you..What the hell good is it being a tool of the so-called Housing 'Authority', ..if you can't arbitrarily wield ruthless power?

...Phhtt.

Labels:

15 Comments:

At 6:59 PM , Blogger Allan said...

Ha ha! Honcho hired two cranky old bastards!

Take some rich bastard's dirt, call it a Yard Tax or something...make them respect your Authority!

 
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At 7:15 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Allan- Oh,let me tell ya..
Partner is a Republican,and a Mormon!..
We crack each other up! :)

漢美女- OH YEAH?!!..
Well,「情色二零零七色情影片」情趣產品大產自二十三日起在倫敦av女優的肯辛頓奧林匹成人電影亞展覽館舉行,倫敦人擺脫色情對性的保守態度踴躍參觀,許多穿皮衣與塑膠緊身衣的好AV女優色A片之徒擠成人影片進這項情色世界規模AV片最大的成人生活展,估計三天展期可吸引八萬多好奇民眾參觀 yer own stupid self!..

 
At 9:01 PM , Blogger sageweb said...

Oh goodness..what a comment.
Okay. I love you have a cranky old guy and he is a republican and a mormon..lovely..you should have some great conversations that we all would love to listen in to.

YOu should have sold the housing Authority dirt from your yard,

 
At 9:31 PM , Blogger jan said...

I thought once somebody worked for the government, he had unlimited powers. I need to talk to some people.

 
At 6:30 AM , Blogger Doralong said...

WEll this ought to provide many a moment of entertainment for your loyal readers..

 
At 8:41 AM , Blogger booda baby said...

I think there's a kind of Andy of Mayberry show in here. Modernized, of course, but paying homage to the best years of colloquialisms, when those were the cat's pajamas. Set in the hills of West Coast Appalachia, the script's sprinkled with adorable doses of ... well, see for yourself:

birds of a feather..Cut from the same cloth. to and fro'...Hither and yon,..Eastside,Westside..All around the town.

All the cockles of my heart are toasty in anticipation and I'm not kidding.

 
At 9:18 AM , Blogger LostInColor said...

confiscate dirt?? only a cranky ol bastard would think of that! :)

 
At 9:34 AM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

haha, love at first insult.
i think you should dig about 4 holes of dirt out of about 12 yards in a row and say it was done by moles...yah, that's the ticket

 
At 11:23 AM , Blogger rosemary said...

Are you working at the Asian Housing Authority????

I like this work ethic...take what we want when we want it under the color of the Gumbment!!!!

 
At 9:55 PM , Blogger Sling said...

So far,things really are pretty laid back.
I'm getting to know the other fellas at the shop,and many of the residents at our various complexes..All very nice people...Tomorrow,I'll be helping unload boxes of food at Winston Gardens for their community food drive..
All part of the service here at the Housing Authority. :)

 
At 5:14 AM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

Awesome frist day's work. The residents of O Town had better keep their eyes glued to their dirt.... and any little saplings not yet firmly rooted.

 
At 6:33 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

LOL! I love that your partner and you can be cranky old bastards together! :)

 
At 9:52 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Don't mind me...I'm just chokin' on the brown liquor...

 
At 10:33 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

That chinese or whatever script has been bombarding my email box...it comes in from your blog..called sling with anan and then all this stuff. I got 92 of them today and they came in as fast as i could get ris of them. I called my internet provider and they are going to block them...has any one else had this?

You've learnt quick on the job about power and absolute power....

 

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