Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Root of All Evil...

Yesterday,The Partner and I were assigned to repair a sprinkler valve that had been damaged by the roots of a nearby tree.
Funny how,when I think of 'roots',I conjure up visions of a stringy mass of delicate tendrils,weaving their way about the sub soil in search of nutrients.
..Take a look at this nasty bastard!!

That 90 degree angle is where it grew around the foundation of the building,some 10 inches below the surface.
It's relentless quest entirely engulfed the valve,after crushing the 1/4 inch PVC box that protected it.
...This is what was spared from annihilation..Notable for it's lack of, know,..technically complex sprinkling thingys.

Here's the long view of the offender.
I figure it weighs in at about 200 pounds,and 25 feet long.
Yeah,..that's a chainsaw..We refer to it as a 'Gardening tool'.

The whole operation took about 6 hours of pick axes,shovels,and all manner of power tool wielding determination..All the while,the sun has graced us with temperatures in the 90's.

Did I mention that this job only pays minimum wage?..No?
Did I also forget to mention that,as part-time employment,Unemployment deducts what I earn,and pays me the difference of my Unemployment entitlement so that I make exactly the same money busting my ass that I would if I just sat at home?..
Of course,..then I wouldn't have the satisfaction of a job well done.
Seriously,..that's important to a man's self-esteem.
The fact that I choose to do this,somehow keeps the whole thing one step above indentured servitude.

AnyHebrewSlave..I told you that story, I could tell you this one.

The first thing I do when I get home,(after pounding down a handful of extra strength Tylenol),is check my e-mail,and find a note from Bobbi over at Experience Works.
It seems that I have neglected to send in my job search paperwork for the last couple of weeks.
She notes that I have a 3 month performance review coming up,and that if I don't send them in,she will rate my participation in the program as 'VERY POOR'..

At first I thought,..'My bad'.

That lasted all of about 0.05 seconds,..when it occurred to me..
'So,'s this broad sitting at her desk across town,in her air-conditioned office,who picks up my file,shuffles a few papers, and decides that my efforts are below her standards of how a man is supposed to 'perform',so she'll just reach for her rubber stamp and slam 'VERY POOR!' on my life!'
..Don't break a nail sweetheart!

It just seems to me that someone regularly disposed to business communication,should be more adept at their choice of words.
I've become accustomed to the well-chosen words of veteran bloggers,and frankly,I just wasn't in the mood.

I mean,..I like to think that I have some small skill at formulating a sentence,so I quick-fax her the errant copies of my job searches,and compose a reply to her

'Good Morning Bobbi,
It seems that you have inadvertently wandered onto MY turf!
..Here is my advice...'

..I've yet to receive a response.



At 3:20 PM , Blogger Grish said...

Now that's a lotta digging.

At 3:34 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

holy shit...u da man.!...
as for the crunt?...(cross between a cunt and a grunt)
the Goddess will get her, rest assured.

At 3:59 PM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

Wow.... and 'lil Ms. Bobbi seemed so nice from your previous posts. People who act like that are uncomfortable in their position. I see it all the time with new managers, always demanding respect and whining about how people never listen to them. Glad you were able to teach her the value of a good old fashioned "friendly reminder".

At 4:48 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

That root....looks like it belongs in a scary movie....damn. As for Bobbi....what the hell is her real name and how unprofessional is that....extremely. I'm not as nice as JackiSue.....fuck her.

At 5:37 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Grish- Boy howdy,..I'm here to tell ya!

Yellerdawg- I'm not sure where the attitude came from.
I've done nothin' but jump through little hoops since I entered into this EW thing.
I suppose she has people to answer to for why all the i's aren't dotted.

Thinker- That's really all I did in my response..I reserve brutal verbal ass-whuppins for my blog. ;)

Rosie- It was kinda like a scary movie.
For a while there,I thought it was gonna eat my brain.
More than unprofessional,I thought Roberta's tone was unnecessary.

At 8:31 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now, if Rosie could just get Roberta's last name and address out of you we can see that this matter is resolved once and for all.

Don't ask any questions.

At 3:24 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy hell at that tree root!

And ha ha ha ha at your response to the drone.

At 6:09 AM , Blogger Doralong said...

Don't hold your breath... But I'd be more than happy to give her an EXTREMELY professional, perfectly correct response that's guaranteed to make her feel like shit.

For you, anything.

At 6:44 AM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

i think this is a good time to break out that legendary sling charm. she'll be putty in your hands.

At 7:50 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

Roberta needs to see the picture of your root.
SHe might change her mind about very poor.

At 9:19 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Here's the deal with this Experience Works thing..
First of all,I had no idea there was some kind of 'evaluation' involved,and if there is,it should be based on my actual work!
I mean,this isn't a friggin' handout,where I should have to account to some disembodied corporate minion..I'm earning this money!
Know what I mean?
Bobbi just caught me on the wrong day,at the wrong time,with the wrong approach.

At 1:14 PM , Blogger booda baby said...

you wrote "...I suppose she has people to answer to for why all the i's aren't dotted.and maybe she does, but if high performance marks are contingent on paperwork submission and she (or frankly, anyone in that position) understands PAPERwork be a measure of participation, then something's wrong with the program. I get that metrics need to be in place - we all get that. Of course. But those are the wrong metrics, particularly in a program they bothered to call 'Experience Works.'

Bobbi wrote an offensive email, but in my opinion, it's more offensive that she's been entrusted with that authority in the first place. Her email demonstrates that whatever qualified her for the position was not enough.

My letter to the people in charge of this program is drafted and ready to go.

At 9:27 AM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

Oh my gosh, Bobbi is just Little Miss Rudeness, isn't she?

You are a freakin' hard worker, from the looks of that nasty root! Wow!! :)

At 5:57 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Bureaucratic types reserves this language for those of us they consider beneath them...whata shock when they get to die and find there are no caste systems in the after life...

This attitude really shits me big time...I have family members who treat me like this because they went to uni coonie runi for a year or three...

I bet she wouldn't know where to start getting out that tree godness its a biggie...

Just think of it as being paid to go to the GYM...and self respetc is important...its a rip off and no doubt soon we will all be working for coolie wages...hopefully one day you will get the call from your old boss...


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