Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sunday Surgery..

The Silver Bullet has been on the waiting list for a double tubectomy for three days now,and I just couldn't put it off any longer.
Yep..We don't mess around up in here when it comes to flat tires,we go ahead and get two at the same time!

No matter how careful you are,those insidious 'goatheads' will seek you out,and bury themselves in your inner tubes.
I don't see any evolutionary advantage to this seeming self-sacrifice,so I can only assume they do it for joy of the sheer aggravation it causes.
..I can sorta relate to that.

It's a relatively safe operation,one I've performed successfully many times..


So,why postpone the inevitable for three days?..

Because I hate,hate,hate getting grease on my hands!
Hate..Despise..Loathe..Abhor.

I don't know what it is about grease,but if it's on my hands,(or HORRORS!,under my fingernails),..I feel filthy all over!
Defiled even.

Don't misunderstand,..I'm not one of those unfortunate,obsessive compulsive germophobes that needs to wash his hands every thirty seconds.
Hell,I've even been known to stretch the 'five-second' rule to a full eight seconds without giving it one second's thought but,..

'ARRGGHHHHH!..Lord he'p me,..I can't breeaatthhhhe!'..


The Silver Bullet came through the whole operation famously,and was back on the road immediately after the procedure.
I,..on the other hand,..will need to locate a gallon of industrial strength cleanser,some 60-grit sandpaper,and a wire brush before I can properly function.

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22 Comments:

At 3:09 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

How funny! :)

I just wrote on my blog about a surgery my Dad had this week, and I turn to your blog to find a posting about your bike's surgery!! LOL! :) Thanks for the laugh. :)

 
At 3:57 PM , Blogger secret agent woman said...

What's a goathead?

I am stiing here with quick dry cement under my nails, so I do sympathize.

 
At 4:22 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Miss HP- :) I hope Pops came through surgery without incident.

Secret Agent Woman- A goathead is the sticker/seed produced by the goathead weed.It's sharpened 'Y' shape resembles a goat's head and horns,and they are especially notorious for puncturing bicycle tires in this part of the country.

 
At 7:00 PM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

oh my goddess...I can't believe that thre is something that we dont agree on...I love grease on my hands and under my nails..it's like saying...you did some honest work..now go clean up and have a beer..(of course i cant have the beer anymore) but i can still wash up and feel like ive done good..

 
At 7:24 PM , Blogger jp said...

I think this is why I bite my nails so much, because I hate when they're long enough for dirt to get under them.

 
At 7:40 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Yellerdawg- Ha!..You know I don't mind getting my hands dirty from an honest day's labor.
In fact,I get the greatest satisfaction from working,playing guitar,etc,.with my hands.
Grease is an exception I don't really understand,but it drives me to distraction.
Here's another 'quirk'..I really don't like working with gloves on,even at the risk of injury,(or getting them greasy for that matter).
It's like I don't know where my hands are.
Go figure..

JP- I don't bite 'em,but I will trim them puppies all the way to the quick to get rid of grease.

 
At 7:54 AM , Blogger Mom said...

Sounds like you are an excellent bike surgeon. The patient fared better than the doctor though.Now go wash your dirty hands.

 
At 8:15 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

I love getting gritty and dirty..I think it makes me more butch..dont you love the smell of that stuff? Maybe I get carried away to easy.

 
At 11:42 AM , Blogger rosemary said...

Hum.....When I look at a man....for whatever reason....he is handsome, not so handsome, has a new and inventive comb over....whatever....I also look at his hands and nose....dirty hands and nails.....ugghh...nose hairs sticking out.....double ugghhh. you didn't swipe your nose with those hands did you?

 
At 1:46 PM , Blogger laurent said...

Don't like grease on your hands, umm.. in China that would be looked upon with deep suspicion. Sort of a Capitalist paper tiger type, but I know what you mean that is why I leave it to Will to do that sort of thing while I mix the martinis.

 
At 3:58 PM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

It's amazing how quickly they want you up and moving. Double tubectomies are no trivial procedures.

 
At 5:39 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

wouldn't it be nice if only front tires got flat.

i hate handling the feckin chain.

have you tried using latex gloves;)

 
At 7:22 PM , Blogger Citymouse said...

Ms Healthypant's dad, Siver, I dont even miss ER!

 
At 8:19 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Mom- The truly professional bike surgeon puts aside his own welfare,and saves the patient.
..it was yucky.

Sage- I think you are very butch kid!
I know your scooters,..mechanical and canine,are in good hands. :)

Rosie- I think all those years of tending bar,and playing guitar,made me especially conscious of my hands.
At least,that's the best I can figure.

Laurent- I've tried to live up to the standards of the Chinese.
As Master Jimmy Woo used to say,'White men have no character'.
Ratz..

Thinker- Hey!..I gave the Silver Bullet 3 days off.
Time to get back to work.

Billy P.- Exactly!..Front tires are a breeze...It's those pesky gears and chain on the back tire that suck.

Mouse- You can find all the drama you'll ever need right here in Bloggertown. ;)

 
At 8:06 AM , Blogger booda baby said...

I am so happy to be so surprised. I'd have checked the 'Sling Likes His Grease' box on the survey and been pretty damned confident about it. I wish there was a little more grease hating in our household. I think A. got your portion of the love.

 
At 10:08 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Booda Babe- I'm prone to get all manner of dirt,mud,fish guts,garbage,pet 'accidents',and god knows what other examples of filth on my hands.
You wash 'em off with soap and water..No problem.
Grease is just so damn persistent!
I can still see some in the ridges of my fingerprints.
..Crap!

 
At 6:42 AM , Blogger Grish said...

On the bright side it can pull double duty...as a Mail Man tripper..:P

 
At 9:45 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Grish- Dude!..It's exactly in the path the mailman takes..How did you know that?

 
At 12:52 PM , Blogger Grish said...

Cause I have you house under surveillan..

I've already said to much...:P

 
At 11:01 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Honey, let me tell you something: I have loved just about everything there is about being a mom but if there is one thing that will send me right over the nearest cliff it is stickiness. Give me baby puke, give me a nasty diaper but do NOT make me wipe jelly off a sticky little person. Grosses me out to the max. Which is only to say that I think I understand.

 
At 11:08 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Don used to come home covered in the stuff...and I grew up next to a garage so admit to being a bit hooked on grease and petrol smells....greasy hands whhhh what a turn on !!!

My big problem is getting toothpaste in my hair at night and not noticing till I am down the street the next day

 
At 11:14 AM , Blogger BrightenedBoy said...

When I was a kid our bike chains used to come loose and we'd have to stop riding to put them back in. It was a quick remedy that only took a few seconds to do, but it left your hands covered in black dust.

 

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