Monday, November 20, 2006

The answer to yesterday's pop quiz...

*In a memorable (at least for me) show of hospitality,both Nan Wood-Graham,and the "Mummy Murderer" have made me Tuna fish sandwiches for lunch..

"WTF??"..."How the hell are we supposed to guess who you had lunch with 30 freakin' years ago?"..."Or even give a rat's keister for that matter?"..

Now,now,..before you get your knickers all in a twist,the explanation is quite simple really,...I didn't consider your feelings..
See?..No harm,no foul...:)

The particulars follow:

I was working as a carpet layer in the mid to late 70's in Riverside, California.Well,it turns out even great American Icons like to re-decorate from time to time and my partner,CB,and I secured the job of installing brand new floor covering for one of Riverside's most celebrated citizens,Nan Wood-Graham.She is the sister of artist Grant Wood,and is one of the most recognizable faces in the history of portraiture (along with Whistler's mother,and the Mona Lisa)...We were insufferably pleased with ourselves..
I gotta tell ya..
Ms. Graham,"Call me Nan",..was a delightful pixie of a woman with striking blue eyes and a wonderful sense of humor.I'm guessin' she was in her 70's at the time,...and nothing short of beautiful.She gave CB and I the 50 cent tour of the house,where almost every wall was decorated with the hundreds of parodies of "American Gothic",with an elegantly framed copy of her brother's masterwork taking center stage in the living room.The original hangs in the art institute of Chicago.
CB and I set about the task of removing the old carpet,and installing a plush new sculpted Axminster...Long about noonday,Nan had prepared us a delicious meal of Tuna sandwiches,potato salad,and soda pop,by way of common courtesy...Thanks doll ;)..

Ten years(more or less)later;..

My older brother "Coat Hanger" (don't ask) had spent the better part of his life in and out of State and Federal prisons,..more than 25 years in toto...From the West coast,to the East coast,and parts in between...During those times,he had made the acquaintance of some notable and nefarious ne'er-do-wells...You wanna know who really killed Jimmy Hoffa?...I digress..
While on one of his brief stints "in the world" he lived with me in Carlsbad,California,just North of San Diego.One fine morning,we had a conversation that went something like this;
Coat hanger; "I'm going up to Hawthorne to visit the Mummy Murderer,..wanna go with?"
Sling; "Okay!"..
On the drive up,he filled me in.
The mummy murderer(who's real name shall remain,..well,..nameless) had earned his moniker by virtue of having "accidentally" (as much as crushing a man's skull with a blunt instrument can be considered an accident) killed a man during an unfortunate mugging,and in a hasty effort to conceal his misdeed,disposed of the body,tightly wrapped in a bed sheet...Shit happens,..I guess... He had served some 12 plus years in the Joint and was recently paroled..In any case,we arrived at MM's modest abode,and much camaraderie ensued..
I noticed that MM had a small black and white TV,tuned to "The Price is Right",sitting atop an unused console color television.
"What's wrong with the big TV?"..
"I dunno ,it just stopped working a few weeks ago".
"Mind if I take a look?"
"Knock yerself out brother"..

A few phillips head screws later,l found what I had expected to find,..A blown fuse similar to a typical automobile accessory fuse.
So similar in fact,that I was able to go out to my car,take a spare fuse that I kept in the glove compartment,and get his color console fired up and running in about 20 minutes...

"COOL brother!!..Thanks a lot!..Hey, hungry?..I got some Tuna in the fridge...Wanna sandwich?"...

Thanks for hangin' in there kids... ;)

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I helped bury Harry Truman?....

EDIT:..Damm!...The format of this post turned out crappy as hell.. :(


At 12:59 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Riveting! Between your gothic (on both counts mind you) acquantances and Lorraine's shooshy-niney-newness, the rest of us hardly have a chance to puff up our coolness at all now do we?
(brief pause)
I'll take my autographed photo of you in the 70's now please. Thank-you.

At 2:01 AM , Blogger Grish said...

Cool! I hope your gonna share that sandwhich...

At 3:02 AM , Blogger Babs said...

I want your autograph. Please o please o please!

At 9:35 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

"Shoosy-niney-newness"? WTF?

I was sorta right. What do I win?

And just so you know, I ate a tuna sandwich yesterday because that was all I could think about after reading your post. I'm going to have another one today. Yum.

At 12:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The act of being entirely too fabulous and/or fierce, thereby evoking unbridled hostility in the hearts of the covetous (me) who wish they were more like said shoosher. That's WTF. BTW. heh heh

At 7:28 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

O. IC.


Do you think Sling minds us playing in his yard when he's not home? Shhh! I heard something...

At 8:37 PM , Blogger Sling said...


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