Tuesday, April 10, 2007

A head full o' fluff..

I took advantage of my bi-monthly,use-it-or-lose-it sick day,and called in to work with a mild case of 24 hour cholera this morning.
Just kidding,..about the cholera I mean.A simple message left on the answering machine is sufficient to secure an arbitrary day of malingering with no problem.

"They say that it's all happening at the zoo"..

According to Paul Simon anyway.
While I'm loathe to disagree with Mr.Simon about things in general,I have to take exception to this particular statement.Clearly,it's all happening on daytime television.
After wrangling a fresh pot o' coffee,I immersed myself in some morning drivel..

  • "Wake up O-Town!"- Lithesome Ashley of the blonde persuasion gives an enlightening tour of a local pet boutique,where one can purchase matching "hoodies" for themselves,and their beloved Shit-Zoo.Morgan and I just laughed at the pretentiousness of some people,while we shared a bowl of scrambled eggs.

  • "Today"- It's no secret that Meredith and I are destined to hook-up.Born on the same day,in the same year,it's an astrological imperative.Or whatever.She hammered Don Imus pretty good over his recent racist assholery.It was HOT!

  • "Live! with Whatzis-name and Kelly"-..only today it was Pat Sajak and Kelly.Pat was demonstrating his new "Talking Pat Key Chain" when Kelly wondered aloud what Vanna's key chain said."I don't know,I never pressed her button!" Pat quipped..Hahahahaha!...guess you hadda be there.

  • "The View"- Don't get yer panties all in a bunch!..I know Rosie is thoroughly boorish,but watching Barbara fidget nervously whenever Rosie begins to speak is entertainment enough.Plus!..sooner or later the conversation always turns to female orgasms.Trust me...Always.

  • "Mr.Smith goes to Washington"- That's right kids!..The classic Jimmy Stewart portrayal of an honest,yet naive,newly elected Senator that takes on graft and corruption in the nation's capital,and kicks some Congressional ass with the help of a good woman,..just like real life...Shuddup!...could happen.
It's three o'clock,and I'm scheduled for a miraculous recovery in half an hour,so I'm outta here.



At 5:18 PM , Blogger Monica said...

Not that I watch The View but...
I find it hilariously awesome whenever they gang up on the young blonde chick. They basically tell her she is stupid and useless every day. Not that I'm arguing with them but it seems pretty bogus... but funny to me.

At 5:35 PM , Blogger Sling said...

monica-She held her own pretty good today.Considering none of them can get a word in edgewise over Rosie's little diatribes.

At 6:20 PM , Blogger barista brat said...

i hate morning drivel.

but i love the odd "call in sick to work" day.

btw - how were the scrambled eggs?

At 6:41 PM , Blogger Sling said...

B.Brat-I like my scrambled eggs on the dry side,topped with sliced jalapenos and a little pico-pica..Yummy! :)

At 6:52 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

I CANNOT stand Kelly Rippa...she is a phoney, fake, faux...basically a fraud. Blaghfugh on Kelly. Don't care for Rosie, got sick of Matt Lauer so Meridith doesn't have a chance for my viewing, and I do like the movie. My tastes are a bit more refined, Sling...Good Morning America, then re-runs of yesterday's Judge Alex, then Christina's Court, Judge Alex again, Judge Hatchett, the People's Court, Judge Judy topped with cherries and whipped cream...Dr. Phil!! QVC in between...I could go on if you want me to. And I so love Pico Pica...yummy on carnitas!

At 7:09 PM , Blogger Sling said...

All those "judge" shows are pretty entertaining rosie...Dr.Phil doesn't read my blog,so I don't watch his show.

At 9:44 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the way that your links show pictures of the other site when you hover over them.

So, that one time when you didn't come into the bar because of that "food poisoning," that really was food poisoning, right?

At 11:14 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Hovering pictures? This I gotta see.

Pass the scrambled eggs.

At 11:15 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

WOW! How DID you do that? That is the coolest thing EVER!

More eggs, please.

At 1:04 PM , Blogger the rube said...

didn't you record monday night raw?

At 2:14 PM , Blogger Citymouse said...

day time tv is why the internet is so popular

At 2:59 PM , Blogger Wizened Wizard said...

I've never watched daytime tv, but I had a friend once who watched it. ; )

We don't even get NIGHT-TIME tv... I haven't even heard of some of the people you're talking about. Am I missing something besides the scrambled eggs?

At 4:44 PM , Blogger Sling said...

JP-Don't you remember how I explained to you that food poisoning can give you a suntan?...Sheesh..

lorraine-Don't ya just love bells and whistles!
I stole it from Gina.
It only takes 2 easy steps;
1) when the bubble pops up,click on the lower left hand corner that says,"get free snap..whatever..and
b)easily follow the easy-to-follow directions!..
**alternate plan**
Tell eric to do it for you! ;)

I've saved you some scrambled eggs,and a nice warm tortilla..you know..so you can make one those scrambled eggs in a tortilla things

the Rube ROCKS!- dude,I didn't record rasslin' because I didn't KNOW I was gonna be sick ahead of time...get it?..no more trick questions please. ;)

citymouse- daytime internet isn't a whole lot better..

Wizard-Fear not...you're not missing much.
..and there are plenty of scrambled eggs to go around. :)

At 4:52 PM , Blogger Sling said...

lorraine-I just checked...It says "get free preview"..:)

At 11:01 AM , Blogger CS said...

There's a whole daytime TV world out there I know nothing about. On internship most days I would watch "Young and the Restless" while I ate lunch. I liked it because you could miss several days and next time you tuned in they were still in the middle of the same argument.

At 3:53 PM , Blogger Sling said...

CS-...at the same coctail party where nobody can stand each other,yet everyone still gets invited, :)

At 6:46 PM , Blogger Allan said...

Is that pic from Monty Python's Flying Circus? TV would be good if Monty Python was on.

At 6:55 PM , Blogger Sling said...

allan- I straight up stole that pic from a random search of the internets..and I'll do it again!..AHAhahahah!
I miss Monty..

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