I'll bet they even have a secret handshake.

Sometimes,I think that there is a secret fraternity of assholes.

They hold their clandestine meetings in no-smoking,no-drinking,no-parking,no shirt no shoes no service,keep off the grass,don't feed the animals,no-loitering,no refund without a receipt,no tickie no shirtie,no fishing,no swimming,no laughing out loud establishments,where they begin the festivities by reading the minutes of their last asshole meeting;

..'Bob made a motion to forbid anybody on the planet from wearing flannel pajamas,because flannel makes him feel all itchy'..
..Motion carried!

Assholes.

Once the minutes have been heard,they set about the business of sucking the life out of life in earnest.

'The monthly meeting of the incredible assholes is called to order!..Is there any new business?..
The chair recognizes Schmendrick'.

'I'd like to discuss options for dealing with the wildfire situation in NorCal..
You know,there are 3 major causes of wildfires.
Power tools and machinery,lightning strikes,and arson..How can we use this information to insert our arbitrary assholedness into the lives of everyday folks?'..

'OOH!...Pick me!!'..

'The chair recognizes Schmuckfield'..

'It's fourth of July weekend!..We could ban fireworks!..'Cause..you know,..we could argue that 8 year olds with sparklers are a menace to the safety and security of our homes and businesses..Plus,it has the word 'fire' in it.
That'll scare the hell outta the old folks!'

'All those in favor of bringing to a screaming halt,a tradition that has delighted the citizens of this country for two centuries,just so we can point disapproving fingers at our neighbors,and pretty much reduce the significance of Independence Day to that of Groundhog's Day,..Say 'aye'..

..'Motion carried'.

**Today's bonus recipe***

Dry ice bombs:

Place several shards of dry ice in a plastic,two-litre soda bottle.
Add 3 ounces H2O,and tightly secure cap.
Throw it way up high,and run!..

It makes the most satisfying BOOM!

Happy Fourth of July kids!