Saturday, March 14, 2009

This is a test of the emergency Blogcast system..

'RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!..I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,.BUT I'M REALLY SCARED!'..

Weekends are my favorite time for catching up on the vast cornucopia of educational programming available on my beloved DirecTV.
The History Channel,National Geographic,Discovery,and The Science Channel provide an all-you-can-eat buffet of technological esoterica enough to satiate the most ravenous of informational appetites.

I've recently processed all the up-to-the-minute data gleaned from the years of studious efforts put forth by the single minded scholars whose ambition it is to understand such things,and have reached this inescapable conclusion.

We are all doomed!

If Yellowstone Park doesn't erupt in an apocalyptic fury,or the San Andreas fault doesn't haul my ass out to the Bering Sea,or some Island whose name I can't remember right now doesn't slide into the Atlantic Ocean,and precipitate a flood of Biblical proportions,..then surely we'll find ourselves dead in the sights of some errant asteroid the size of freakin' Texas!
..That's assuming the Sun doesn't decide to fizzle out in a blaze of glory,taking the entire solar system with it.

'It's not a question of if,..but when!',..as the narrator is so fond of reminding us.

I've considered just leaving my television tuned to The Learning Channel in an effort to distract myself from the inevitable demise of our species,but I gotta tell ya,..I'm deathly afraid of midgets..

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18 Comments:

At 1:31 PM , Blogger Willym said...

Ah they didn't tell you about the midgets did they? They will be the real source of the destruction of the earth. Its written... somewhere!

 
At 1:34 PM , Blogger jan said...

I would be alarmed, but I can barely remember a time when California wasn't going to slide off into the ocean, the sun wasn't going to suddenly burn out, Yellowstone wasn't going to erupt...etc. Fortunately I have a short attention span.

 
At 2:05 PM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

My understanding is that Yellowstone is like a shaken up pop can, ready to blow.

 
At 2:56 PM , Blogger Doralong said...

Stick to Bravo.

 
At 3:22 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Willym- See!..I'm pretty sure I read that..Someplace.

Jan- I forget to mention Black Holes,Gamma ray bursts,and Great pandemic plagues..just sayin'.

Thinker- It's not at all comforting to note that that little catastrophe is 'overdue'..Geologically speaking.

Doralong- I'm probably one of the few straight guys that never misses a Kathy Griffin show!..I love that bitch.

 
At 4:34 PM , Blogger citizen of the world said...

I figure if something cataclysmic hapens (like the earth exploding) we'll never realy know what hit us. So I'm cool with that.

 
At 8:09 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

what are we waiting for?

let's party like it's 2012.

 
At 8:11 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

12-21-12...we'll be attacked by rabid midgets..the end of all that we know and love.

 
At 8:38 PM , Blogger Mimi's Pa said...

Me? Can't get enough of black and white footage of Doolittle's raid over Tokyo.

 
At 9:30 PM , Blogger Mom said...

Don't worry. Be happy.

 
At 10:01 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Citizen- The Earth exploding would be pretty cool.
I have a recurring dream of great waves breaking over the mountains on the horizon,and I just have to stand there and wait fot them to reach me...I wake up just before they do.

Billy P.- I think that's what baby Jesus would do in our situation!

Yellerdawg- That's the most frightening scenario of all.

Mimi's Pa- Ah yes..A quieter,simpler time.
Before we knew we were all going to vanish in one fell cosmic swoop.

Mom- I suppose I could just watch the Disney Channel,but those Jonas Brothers irritate the hell outta me.

 
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At 7:34 AM , Blogger LostInColor said...

What is with picking on the midgets?? And who wrote the comment in Chinese (??) above me?

 
At 8:27 AM , Blogger Sling said...

sexy-I TOLD YOU!!...You'll get the money we owe you when the economy turns around!...bitch.

Lost- I don't really have anything against midgets.
I think it's nice they have their own channel.

 
At 10:29 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

Oh Sexy got you too. I agree with citizen..I think we will all go to quick to care.

 
At 6:35 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Sage- I hate it when sexy rambles on in navy blue calligraphy.
You know,as long as we're all living on borrowed time,I'd kinda like to see Yellowstone blow it's stack..I figure O-Town would be about 36 hours from total destruction,and we'd have a totally cool light show to enjoy before we evaporated.

 
At 11:38 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Wow who is "sexy" and what is he/ she telling you in oh such mysterious script...hm. SLING!!! OOh AAh!

Cal me ol' cynical but isn't it so very odd and strange that the human race and the planet has survived till now, for millions of years without all this learning from the boffins...hmmm how did we do it?

Maybe we were just so worried about not eating or if the tribe next door wanted to eat our brains...whatever...we did quite well without all this interference...no GM foods buggering up our DNA forever...gaaaargh! I am on for the comedy channel, the crime one and history,,,that'll do me.

 
At 7:18 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

*hee hee* Yeah, I don't watch those shows--it's all too "doomy and gloomy" for me. :)

 

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