Off The Grid..
We got one of those advisory type letters from P.G.&E. a couple of weeks ago,informing us that the whole of O-Town would be without electricity from 10:00 pm Saturday night,until 6:00 am Sunday morning.
It seems they are going to perform some much needed repairs to the substation,so naturally I'm thinkin,' 'Stimulus Money!'..
No joke...They're tearing up and re-paving just about every road and highway in the county,and now updating our little grid,all under the auspices of the Stimulus Package.
So,if you've been wondering where all that money has been going,I'm pretty sure several billion dollars of it have been funneled right here into the thriving necropolis of O!
Navigating the county roads has been something of a giant pain-in-the-ass of late,what with detours directing us many blocks out of our way,..but I can live with the inconvenience if it helps to improve our general situation.
..Just like I can live without electricity during the small hours of the morning.
I'll just go to bed a little early,and when I wake up,the flashing *12:00* on my alarm clock will herald in a new day of freshly refurbished juicetricical.
..Didn't happen.
'It's still dark outside',I assured myself,..'probably not six a.m. yet'...and I went back to sleep.
By the next time I squinted my eyes open,not only is my alarm clock decidedly not blinking,but,..but,..'It's pitch-light outside!'..
I check my battery operated,simulated antique, 'Coca-Cola' wall clock,and it's fully 9:00 AM!..
..They lied!!
WTFuck am I gonna do!?..This is catastrophic!
'I need to do my weekly laundry!'
'My DVR has failed to record my beloved 'Meet the Press'!'..
'I got NO internet!!'...
'Holy Flyin' Crap!..*clutches chest*..'I CAN'T MAKE COFFEE!!!'...
Who,(*or is it whom?..I never can get that straight), do I call?..Exactly WHO,(see asterisk), is responsible for this atrocity??.
How am I supposed to survive this?,..this?,..oh,..wait...
The power just came back on.
..nevermind.
It's a bright and beautiful Sunday morning,..and life is good in Sling's Domain!
Make chex payable to §£ïñg 9:17 AM
17 Bootleggers
17 Comments:
i hate it when the electricity goes out..for what ever reason..and then while im pissing and moaning i try and remember the people in 3rd world countries that dont have electricity or water and that lasts for about 3 minutes and then i realize i dont give a fuck I WANT MY ELECTICITY.. im so bad.
*smiles* I would be feeling the same way--I think that the lack of internet and coffee would just drive me over the edge. :)
P.S. I was going to give you a lesson on "who" and "whom"--and I was about to mention "linking verbs," and then I considered the fact that I am just one gigantic nerd, and I stopped myself. :)
Yellerdawg- There was a rumor going around last week amongst the seniors at one of our Housing facilities,that the power would be out all weekend!..I assured them that the letter said it would only be for 8 hours,but when 11 hours had passed,I thought the cranky old farts might have the inside info..
Mild panic was involved.
Miss HP- I was gonna say,'So..You'll just let me cloud my honest doubt with ignorance?',..but I realized how nerdy that sounded,so I stopped myself. ;)
I was going to say something about our pioneer ancestors, but realized how pointless it would be.
i have bic lighters stashed all over the house.
birthday cakes, power failures and there's something else i use them for but i can't remember.
Jan- Hey!..I already did the 'walking 5 miles to school,uphill both ways thing when I was a kid..All I want now is my internet,and electric blankie. ;)
Billy P.- We have a life time supply of cinnamon candles,but they make our marijuana taste funny.
you slept until 9AM ... wow!!!!
Mouse- I know!
Electricity is wonderful. I have no idea how people survived without it.
Mom- They didn't!..Those people are all extinct.
No coffee?? Now that's just cruel and inhumane!
This is why they invented campfires and those rickety-ass coffee pots. I will NOT be thwarted.
Oh my I would have probably been hospitalized without coffee.
That was a close one.
Whew, that was almost catastrophic.
Dad you are hilarious, and these comments are just killin' me! Glad I read, made for a great day!
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