Friday, December 18, 2009

To make a short story long..

We still solve crimes on Wednesdays,..occasionally spilling over into Thursday.

Every morning,all of us Housing Authority types meet at the shop to gather our wits before shuffling off to do our various chores.
I was off this Wednesday past,so I didn't get to hear about all the drama that went down until Thursday morning.

It seems my lovely co-worker 'Red' had left her car unlocked for just a few minutes to go into the shop,only to discover upon returning to her vehicle that her purse,and pink canvas lunch sack had been stolen!!
She immediately called the police,and while she and the Partner were waiting,another co-worker,'Jason',arrived.
They relayed the story to Jason and he said,'Hey..I just passed a guy goin' that-a-way with a pink lunch bag!'..

Lickity-split!,..Red and The Partner jump in the truck,and sure enough,spot the felonious butt-plug a few blocks away.
They trail the guy from a respectable distance,while relaying his whereabouts to the police dispatcher.
Eventually,the perpetrator enters a corner market,and while he's still inside,the cops arrive in the parking lot.
Well,within a few minutes he comes out of the store,and the cops accost him in possession of Red's lunch bag,and savings account book!
..But no purse.
Turns out,the guy had just been released from county jail only hours before,which confirms my theory that jails are just chock-full o' geniuses..

For two hours after the scoundrel's arrest,Red and The Partner scoured the neighborhood,searching hither and yon for Red's purse,..but to no avail.
Poor Red is devastated,..not just over the loss of all her ID and checkbook,but for those few personal mementos she carried by way of remembrance.

Like I said,I was absent from this dramatic turn of events,so I was happy to go along on a second search during our lunch hour on Thursday.
Red,The Partner,and I split up,and re-covered much of the area that had been previously examined.
...Zero...Zip...Nada.

It was getting time to go back to work,when The Partner says,'Sling,..why don't you go over to Hammond park,and check the trash cans in the restrooms.
Hammond park is about 400 yards away,on the other side of a great fallow field,and it seemed to me an unlikely place for a respectable thief to take inventory of his swag,..but what the hell.

..You kids see where this is going,..right?

I toddle my happy ass on over to the park,and check the trash can in the women's restroom,(Hey,..the door was propped open),only to discover that it is absolutely empty..
Then,I cross around the building to inspect the trash can in the men's restroom..

..HOLY..FLYIN'..CRAP!!

It's all there!
Red's purse,ID,make-up,mementos,checkbook,bizarre marital aid,(just kidding Red),..and even a half empty box of Ricola cough drops.
Minus only the less-than-ten-bucks she had in her wallet.

Needless to say,I was appropriately smothered with great quantities of hugs and kisses from Red,over the safe return of her belongings..
Plus!..As an added bonus!..Homemade chocolate chip cookies this very morning!

Of course,you all know what this means.
Yep...It means that it's Friday,and once again,..good triumphs over evil in Sling's Domain.

20 Comments:

At 2:19 PM , Blogger sageweb said...

Very cool I like happy O'town endings.

 
At 3:11 PM , Blogger jp said...

I really think you should open up a private dick business.

That was not supposed to sound dirty.

 
At 3:32 PM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

pj there is nothing private about slings dick...so to speak..
my hero..

 
At 4:31 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

holy checkbook!!! that's amazing. just imagine losing your ID in these times. this guy was obviously not a genius if all he was interested in was 10 bucks. you are a true hero sling.

 
At 4:37 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Just for the record,ain't no hero about it.
I only checked the restrooms to humor The Partner..Who knew??

JP and Yellerdawg- If you guys are through talking about my dick,I should like to borrow it for awhile. ;)

 
At 6:44 PM , Blogger jan said...

The guy was walking around with a PINK lunch bag.

 
At 7:01 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Jan- I know!!..He dumps all manner of evidence in the men's restroom,and then proceeds down main street with a pink lunchbag...You can't make this stuff up,hence my 'genius' observation.
The only explanation is that there was food in it.

 
At 7:34 PM , Blogger Mom said...

Stupid crook stories are always entertaining.I do love a happy ending.

 
At 7:47 AM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

it's a wonderful life!

chocolate chip cookies are cool too.

 
At 7:48 AM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

i forgot,

so you got that going for you too!

which is real nice.

 
At 9:57 AM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

That's some fine sleuthing there I tell ya. I have a bunch of single socks looking for their mates.... any ideas where I should look Slinglock? :)

 
At 1:37 PM , Blogger laurent said...

Hey Sling you are a regular Batman or Superman, saving the day and making America safe for democracy.

 
At 3:52 PM , Blogger secret agent woman said...

A literally sweet reward for a good deed!

 
At 10:04 PM , Blogger austexgrl said...

Hugs, Kisses and chocolate chip cookies.WOW!!!

 
At 9:12 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Mom- I think maybe greed makes people just a little nearsighted...They tend not to be able to see past their noses.

Billy P.- Choco-chip cookies are a sweet reward indeed!

Thinker- I have a theory that the spinning of the dryer creates miniature black holes,sucking socks into the far reaches of the time-space continuum.
I think I'll throw Bailey the cat in there,and see if he comes out on the other side.

Laurent- I may have just blown my secret identity.

Secret Agent Woman- ..and it was totally accidental!
Sometimes,I do the right thing.

austexgrl- I know! :)
Makes me glad I skipped my usual 30 minute nap during lunch hour.

 
At 8:17 AM , Blogger Bad Alice said...

Way to go - a happy holiday story. Good thing he was satisfied with $10 and lunch.

 
At 5:44 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Bad Alice- Imagine how happy he's gonna be with 3 hots and a cot! ;)

 
At 11:42 AM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

*smiles* I love this story!! :) This is a great right-before-Christmas story about good triumphing over evil--whoo hoo!! :)

I had my wallet stolen once, and it was never found--apparently I just needed you to be here to find it! *grin* Well, my thief only got away with $3, and never even touched the credit cards--thank God! It was just more an inconvenience than anything, to cancel credit cards, get a new driver's license, etc.

 
At 2:57 AM , Blogger more cowbell said...

I'm so getting a pink canvas lunch bag. Also, you should star on CSI.

 
At 10:19 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Sling the finder...yay...I have a few littl mementos in my bag...but might remove tham after this...safer at home with all my "riches" to choose from they would leave the realy valuable things...

Super Sling Strikes yet another blow for Life, and goodness!

 

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