Sunday, February 18, 2007

ASK SLING...


Dear Sling;
I don't understand the big deal about tipping service people.
My friend's say they are embarrassed to go out to dinner with me because I demand that everything be EXACTLY the way I want it,and then refuse to leave a tip.I mean,those people are getting paid to do a job,so why should I feel obligated to add anything extra to their miserable coffers?
I am right in this,aren't I?
signed,
A penny saved..

Dear,
Couldn't pull a needle outta your ass with the "Jaws of Life":

I swear to God I live for mortally oblivious,Sphincterally challenged,Butt-Plugs like you!

I'll bet you squirrel away every nickel you find on the sidewalk against the day you might get to purchase that shiny new polyester suit you've had your eye on.

Did you know that service people are actually paid less than minimum wage precisely because they are expected to receive gratuities?..of course you didn't,because you're too busy making ridiculous,whiny ass demands of servers to notice that they are just trying to make a friggin' living.

Anyway,..I'm here to help,so here is my advice.

Sell everything you own,withdraw all your money from the bank,then pile all that precious cash in one spot and roll around naked in it you miserable,stingy fuck..Oh yeah,..keep an eye out for children that have recently lost their baby teeth.You should be able to retrieve a tidy little sum of "Tooth Fairy" money from under their pillows while they sleep..



15 Comments:

At 5:51 PM , Blogger barista brat said...

all hail sling! defender of tip-dependent workers!

 
At 6:49 PM , Blogger Sling said...

B.Brat-I was inspired by a couple of your recent posts..
My mom raised 3 of us on $1.35 an hour plus tips..Can't tell ya how many PB and J's that translates to for supper. ;)

 
At 9:36 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

I have had such great service from a waiter/waitress that I have actually tipped more than the price of the meal..just cause they were so good...I have worked for tips before as bartender and waitress, so I know what that means...
sounds like that guy is so 'tight' that if you shoved a straight pin up his ass, it would knock both his hip bones out of joint..

 
At 5:21 AM , Blogger apositivepessimist said...

What’s the bet “a penny saved” also has the bill itemised and pays for only what they had.Poonce.

Having worked in the hospitality industry, albeit here where we “can” be paid a decent hourly rate a tip was always appreciated [I once got a $100 tip, was put in the pocket of my jacket, imagine my whoaah duuude when I found it] I can only imagine how MUCH it is appreciated when yer basically feeding yerself and yer family off of them.

 
At 9:49 AM , Blogger CSL said...

Umm, having a bad day Sling?

I always tip big, unless the person is over-the-top rude to me. And mistakes, badly cooked food, delays - I figure none of that is the poor underpaid waiters' fault. I tip, and am thankful I don't have to rely on tips.

 
At 10:37 AM , Blogger jp said...

I'm okay with tipping and generally do a good job (especially with bartenders) but I think it would be better if the employers were required to pay people what they're worth so the rest of us wouldn't have to.

 
At 12:41 PM , Blogger gina said...

I agree with jp that proprietors should be forced to pay a decent wage so we don't HAVE to tip, but that said, I am a generous tipper - rarely less than 20% and usually 25%. While I don't take it out on the server when food is poorly cooked or delayed, I do expect them to be apologetic, understanding, and offer some sort of something to compensate - either recook the food, or if it's really late, lots of bread, or a free appetizer to tide us over - something to ease our pain. Not doing so won't mean no tip, just probably not 25%. My son-in-law did not believe me when I told him servers are paid LESS than minimum (which is the case in Idaho), and insisted on tipping only 15%. I made up the difference.

On the other hand - when I only make $25/hour, it is painful to hand someone $25 on a $100 tab when you know they had at least 4 other tables, maybe more, doing the same thing, for 90 minutes worth of work. Even tipping out to the hostess, bartender, cook and busboy, the waiter walks away with close to $60 an hour. Not bad. I think tipping that 25% is most meaningful in those places where a meal runs $8-$10. Those kids don't make a lot of money and work their hind ends off.

 
At 2:43 PM , Blogger ruby rocks said...

good service = good tip

shitty service = shitty tip

i once tipped an uppity french waiter a nickel and he threw it at me. made my feckin day!

 
At 6:40 PM , Blogger Sling said...

You guys all seem to have the right idea when it comes to tipping.I'd be pleased to break bread with Y'all anytime. :)
I recently went out with some people that really pissed me off when it came to proper behavior...I mean,.you ARE a guest after all,and should carry yourself like you would anytime you are enjoying someone's hospitalty.
Personally,I consider a tip as part of the cost of dining out,which I do frequently.There are 3 restuarants in town where all the servers know me,know my preferences,and know that I'll show my appreciation for their attention.Consequently,I ALWAYS get good food and service. ;)

 
At 8:34 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Austrailians do tip but don't expect to not because we're mean, but because here if you are working under certain awards there are set wages for that award and waitresses and hotel staff can expect to earn a reasonable decent wage...beyone 18 its usually $18 ph and upwards depending on skills... but in Australia this is a liveable wage...the problem recently emerging here is that once, if you worked for someone for a week you would expect to be permanent full time...now there is almost no permanent work and no security of wages...

I tip, but not huge tips; and its not expected because of the wages...

your wages for low skilled work are pretty low...how on earth people get by without tips I wouldn't know...

 
At 9:09 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

I have a friend that has one of those tip pocket plastic thingies....she will leave exactly what the card says...problem is she has had that card for years...who knows what the % is!

I hate to leave the tip on a credit card...I would rather leave cash so the server can maybe hide it and not have to share.

 
At 9:21 PM , Blogger Sling said...

middle child-You bring up a good point.
in some countries,tipping is not expected at all.Sometimes,the gratuity is included in the bill automatcally,or the culture doesn't have precedent for it.It's a good idea to look into local practices when traveling.

rosemary-it was 15% some 20 years ago...I try to leave between 20% to 30%.
Here's an insider tip(if you will)..Not a good idea to leave the tip on a credit card.I know of unscrupulous types that will alter the amount,collecting large sums before moving on to the the next job...pretty common scam in the service industry.

 
At 8:54 AM , Blogger Citymouse said...

Tipping is not a city in China!

 
At 1:57 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

I think that's the clown that was in the club earlier...the one who complained that the okra poppers (which had just come out of the fryer) weren't hot enough and that the beer (which was freshly tapped) had got flat. And then he tried to pick up Belinda. Jackass.

 
At 5:37 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Citymouse-
To
Insure
Proper
Service..

lorraine-Oh THAT guy??..Don't worry,I slipped a couple drops of "Murine" in his drink..He'll be needing a change of underwear before he can go out in public again..

 

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