Monday, January 14, 2008

More Comfort Food Recipes for Bachelors..

You know how you get a certain food on your mind,and you have to spend the entire day at work thinking about it,knowing that it's just waiting at home,and there isn't a damm thing you can do about it for 8 hours until you can rush straight to the kitchen and whip it up?..
It's like that.

Lizzard King and I have both been pretty busy this last week,so a couple nights ago we bought one of those store brand,ready made,step right up and chow down,roasted chickens at Food Maxx.
We've been munchin' on it for the last two days,rather than try to organize any kind of evening meal..That's what guys do.

Looks pretty gruesome doesn't it?

Well, you take that ravaged carcass,put it in a 4 quart pot,cover it with water,and let that sucker rock n' roil for about half an hour...
I like to add some seasoned salt,and paprika while all this is goin' on.We also had some Tarragon in the rack,so why not!

Now the most important thing to do next,is use one of those slotted spoons to scoop out the cadaver,and pull the bits of meat off the bon...HOLY CRAP!..
*edit:..The most important thing to do next is scoop out the cadaver,AND LET IT COOL!..
then using a fork,(not your fingers,you moron),separate all that tender meat from the bones.

You should end up with some juicy chunks of shredded bird,and a nice golden yellow soup stock.

Now,..check the cupboard and fridge to see what you have to throw in the pot.
In this case,I found some rice behind the coffee filters,and the remains of a stalk of celery.
I would have liked to have had a can of sweet peas,but I don't...sue me.

Add the chopped celery,meat,and 1/3 cup of rice to the stock,..keeping in mind that rice defies the laws of physics,expanding to the tenth power of volume when cooked.
I like my soup thick..

Let all this boil for about 20 minutes,or until the rice explodes into those little "stars",then turn down the heat and simmer for another 10 minutes or so.
..We don't have any bread in the house either,but we do have some lovely English Muffins.
Trust me,..this shit is good!

..I found a bottle of Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale that LK had stashed in the crisper...DIBS!

And there you have it!..The whole operation took about and hour and fifteen minutes.

It's Monday,..and life is fat and happy in Sling's Domain.



At 8:22 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

this resembles something that I just made last favorite thing to make when I the cubbards are bare is to take a cup of flour, 1 egg,take half of the egg shell and fill it fill of ice water a dash of salt..mix it up..roll it out cut into strips..and have noodles..I am going to make cookies tomorrow night..the girl at the $ store has been whinning cause no one will bring her any since I dont buy cookies..I am going to make some..babs of course will get some of them too..I get to smell them baking..and maybe snitch a small dap of dough...

At 8:51 PM , Blogger sageweb said...

Okay that was yummmy, about how long will it take me to get to your place?
Something that always happens to me when I pull meat off nose always itches...drives me nuts. Cuz my hands are busy, so I can't scratch.

Oh FYI safari doesn't let me open your site, I had to use Internet Explorer. Safari usually does but not tonight. So MAC users are out of luck. Unless they have access to a PC. Sorry Babbling

At 10:17 PM , Blogger apositivepessimist said...

Ooh brings back memories of my fortnightly store bought baked chook back in Australia. Here they seem to insist on crumbing and deepfrying that sucker only.

HaHa probably why it’s called Kentucky Fried Chicken huh.

You are a man of many talents Mister Slingoh.

At 3:49 AM , Anonymous Tater said...

It's a great thing to do with turkey carcass as well. I always use fresh parsley, garlic, rosemary, and a hit of lemon juice, cause tarragon seems to make me involuntarily wretch. You can also mix up a little egg, milk,vegtable oil, flour, salt, and baking powder, and plop little spoonfuls on top of the delicious bubbling stock for my favoritest ever meal of chicken and dumplings. Damn it all. Now I am hungry and must scrounge...

At 7:13 AM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

i like to make bean soup out of the carcass. with enough beans, me and ruby can fart more than a russian infantryman living on cabbage.

At 8:04 AM , Blogger Doralong said...

Great minds and all that.. I made chicken noodle soup Sunday. Can't stand to see a carcass go to waste..

At 8:49 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Oh, yum. Love me a man who knows what to do with a bird carcasse.

At 8:50 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Carcasse? Carcass? Dead bird bones.

At 10:36 AM , Blogger jan said...

I always do that with the Thanksgiving turkey in a huge canning vat. I clean out the refrigerator and the cabinets at the same time and it all tastes magnificent.

At 11:34 AM , Blogger Mom said...

Yum. Now I'm hungry.

At 12:38 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

Go to the cupboard and take out a tupperware bowl and lid.

Put at least a 2 bowl amount in the tupperware container.

Seal with duct tape...or duck tape whichever is handy....chicken tape works too. Put in a plastic bag and tape securely.

Put tupperware in box with tons of packing peanuts, close box and tape and address to me....I NEED CHICKEN SOUP...I HAVE A COLD....I NEED CHICKEN SOUP!

At 1:57 PM , Blogger more cowbell said...

You made that sound good, and I don't even eat dead birds. Also, you must be very gifted in the kitchen because try as I might, my rice never explodes into stars.

At 3:11 PM , Blogger Kari (GrannySkywalker) said...

So let me get this're deaf AND you can cook? Good grief, Sling. You may be the PERFECT man. :)

At 3:31 PM , Blogger Doralong said...

Granny= you are too fucking funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 5:34 PM , Blogger Sling said...

yellowdog G.- I don't know which I want more,homemade noodles,or cookies..HAH!.
Cookies,of course!..Had ya goin'.

sageweb- It takes about 9 hours from your place.
Hey!..the same thing happens to me!
Only when I start to do dishes,and my nose doesn't itch,I have to pee...guess it's not really the same,but still.

Apos- well if yer gonna have fried chook,Kentucky is the place to be. :)

tater- Love me some dumplings bro.Next time I'll use your recipe,'cause I didn't really know how...THANKS!

Billy P.- Speaking of cabbage,and farting for that matter,nothin' hits the spot like some fresh brewed saurkraut!

doralong- ..and what's left after I'm done with the carcass,goes to the cat..Cats love dead bird.I've often wondered why Purina doesn't make a dead bird flavored cat food...seems like a natural.

lorraine- 'carcasse' is the classy way they say it in France...or Fresno..I can't remember.

jan- When we were kids my mom called it,"Hobo Stew"..Everything that couldn't crawl away went in the pot..YUMMY!..
PLUS!..We got to be hobos for fun.

mom- eat your vegetables. ;)

rosemary- I'd send it via fed-ex,but I'm afraid the beaks would show up on x-ray,and The Department of Fatherland Bureau of Citizen Surveillance and Ethnic Cleansing would get pissed...

more cowbell- No kidding?..mine always explodes into little stars.
I don't know how NOT to make it do that.

Kari- Oh,I wouldn't say perfect.I mean,I don't always get all the way in the corners when I vaccuum,and sometimes,I find it difficult to fix the roof,and wax the floors at the same time.

doralong- I heard that!

At 6:20 PM , Blogger Babs said...

Jackiesue keeps telling me rabbit tastes like chicken. I think she might catch the bunny that's been eating sunflower seeds out front of my place and try to pass it off as chicken to me in some dish. Would a bunny carcass work the same way?
English muffins are close to the perfect food. I must buy some.

At 6:25 PM , Blogger Monica said...

this is totally making me miss all of my "monica's starving" recipes. i should start starving again, i used to be thinner :)
(i'm joking about wanting to starve btw)

At 6:25 PM , Blogger Sling said...

babs- I've eaten rabbit,and it does indeed taste like chicken.For a real treat,try goat!..Buried and slow cooked for half a day..Oh.My.God!..Heaven on a cloud..

At 6:28 PM , Blogger Sling said...

monica- oops..I was responding during your comment.
Anywhiz,.Your starving monica recipes were a total inspiration for my Bachelor recipes.
Sometimes,you gotta make do,and there is no reason to go hungry if you have a can o' this,and a bunch o' that.

At 8:20 AM , Blogger Kimberly Ann said...

Nothing beats homemade stock. It makes the canned stuff look sick. Do you have a crockpot?

At 1:58 PM , Blogger jp said...

If more starving bachelors knew how to do what you just did, there would be a lot fewer starving bachelors.

See? You provide a valuable service.

Now, that thing that you have to stick the bird into... where do I go about getting one of those?

At 2:48 PM , Blogger hello, my name is danny. said...

sling, you cook like i do. we are kitchen cupboard foragers. it must be our natural instincts left from our caveman days. LOL

i never understand why so many people rely on cookbooks.

At 5:12 PM , Blogger Sling said...

kimberly ann- Homemade stock is the best.You get all that wonderful flavor from the skin and bones and such.
We do have a crockpot,But I didn't use it in this case because I was already at work when I thought about it.

JP- It's all about helping the starving bachelor my friend...Plus!..I tried standing out front af Wal-Mart with a sign saying,"Feed Me",and nobody stepped up.
You can get one o' those "pot" dealies at your local thrift store for a buck all day long.
You can also get pot from This guy Guido knows on the South side.

Danny- I think it's a natural instinct left over from my,"Mom's workin' the night shift,and if I wanna eat I better get busy cooking" days.
Cookbooks are good for specific cooking times and such,but I use the general rule,"If it's good going in,it'll be good coming out"..That sounds gross,but it means that if you are combining complimentary flavors,the end result shoul be just fine.

At 7:23 PM , Blogger hello, my name is danny. said...

haha! i know what you mean, sling. i was a latch-key kid and had to fend for myself many years growing up.

i learned to macgyver a three-course meal with two crackers, a spice rack and a hot dog! LOL

At 7:48 PM , Blogger The Realtor of Long Beach said...

how funny! Boy and I picked up the same pre-fab meal the other day...most of it is still in the frig. so the next night Boy set about making a home cooked meal...tonight we order a pizza...everyone was much happier!

At 11:15 AM , Blogger booda baby said...

(Wait a second. I'm still laughing at Realtor of LB's misadventures in cooking.)

You bachelors know how to do it right. The trick is to marry/co-habitate with one of you, somehow persuade you to do the littlest bit of cleaning and occasionally make the bed, and still get the fine dining experience. It's a thin line. Lean too much in any one direction and you all wake up one day and say shit like, "I'd like to give up meat for awhile. And dairy products. And salt."

At 3:05 PM , Blogger Serena Joy said...

Wow, you can cook! I am VERY impressed. It probably wouldn't even have occurred to me to get so creative with dead bird bones.:)

At 12:12 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Laughing me guts out... you could have your own cooking show... you'd have to be more entertaining than most of the eejuts who get on there...
Looks yummy....

Its not just batchelors who's meals get like that...

I buy groceries only when either the dog's food is run out...the dog has to be fed or the toilet paper is on the last roll.

Then I go crazy and stock up on fruit and veges and these days I but raw chooks from the butchers, because they can actually tell you where they came from and when... and you can tell they at least were able to walk...

But sometimes I forget to cook nd just put stuff on the plate which I fugure equates to the major food groups... last night it was a couple of blood plums, mango, a bit of cold chicken lettuce and bread... and no washing up - but is summer here

At 3:46 AM , Blogger Willym said...

You are going to make someone a fine little wife one of these days with cooking like that. Love it!


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