Wednesday, July 08, 2009

To make a short story long..

Night before last,I committed that most infamous of technological faux pas.
I accidentally spilled a nearly full bottle of beer on my laptop!..

'VVZZZZTTTT!!'..

Everything slammed shut like a crack house after an undercover buy!..
Naturally,like most bloggers,I quickly threw up my hands and ran through the house screaming like a little girl,..'OH MY GOD!,.OH MY GOD!'
Then,..I snatched it up and held it upside down over the sink.

I'll bet I poured four ounces of beer out of the thing,(that's a bartender's estimate),and then I dried it off with a cotton dish towel.
I plugged it in,fired it up,..and the screen lit up!...And then froze.
Well hell..

So,..I took it apart,towel dried the hard drive and RAM chip,blew it out with one of those canned air thingys,..and let it sit over night to air dry.
The next morning I put the whole shebang back together,hit the power button,..when what to my wondering eyes should appear!?..

I've never been so happy to see this nag screen in my entire life!
I mean,..I have actual options!
..As opposed to fuck you,eat shit,..and die.

I opted to start Windows normally,and Old Faithful booted up without any further complaint.
This,I think,is a testament to the Hewlett-Packard HP Pavillion laptop I purchased over four years ago,and which continues to function beautifully,in spite of whatever maladroit misdemeanors I may be prone to commit.

Now,..before you all go yelling at me,..I want you to know I've learned a very important lesson.
From now on,I'll use a wide bottom beer mug while drinking at my computer.
..They're much harder to tip over.

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18 Comments:

At 8:11 PM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

you make every thing sound so dramatic,chevy chase..

haha

so..? you recommend the lap top?...I want to get me one for my birthday in nov..

 
At 8:20 PM , Blogger jp said...

There was more beer in the fridge, right?

 
At 8:22 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Yellerdawg- You haven't seen drama till you've seen Sling facing the prospect of life without a computer..
It ain't pretty.
And yes!..I highly recommend a laptop.
For me,it has always been a matter of packing up my shit,and getting the hell outta Dodge with nothing but the necessities.

 
At 8:23 PM , Blogger Sling said...

JP- Well,..Yeah!

 
At 9:50 PM , Blogger austexgrl said...

Well, good for you!,, I am glad all is well, mi amigo..
Down here in Texas we say, " Never cry over spilled beer"... kiss kiss

 
At 3:55 AM , Blogger Bad Alice said...

Wow, you screw up with such flair! I feel the same about coffee--my laptop just has to learn to live in peace with it.

 
At 8:15 AM , Blogger danny/ink2metal said...

The techie gods smile upon you, sling! Um, as do the beer gods ...lucky bastard;-)

 
At 8:25 AM , Blogger cs said...

happy days are here again! sing long with Sling

:^) SOOOOO happy for you friend

 
At 9:08 AM , Blogger Mom said...

I'm glad you learned you r lesson!

 
At 9:12 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

Did you atleast drink the 4 ounces of beer you squeezed out of your laptop? Also were you naked? I need to imagine the whole story correctly.

 
At 9:47 AM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

Sounds sort of like a laptop baptism.

 
At 4:33 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

i'll bet you wish you'd bought one of those sham wow deals!

 
At 8:06 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

I may have to do the same with a wine glass...but never lost as much as you...still a laughing away at the image of yourself running about like a drama queen...am rather connected to my computer as well...

 
At 12:46 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

Love that last line! LOL! :)

Iwanski is CONSTANTLY reminding (i.e. harrassing) me not to drink anything over the laptop--so this was a good lesson to me, as well--it can happen!

By the way, did you have it plugged in? I'd be afraid of getting electrocuted!

Anyway, I'm glad that your laptop is okay so you can blog more! *smiles*

 
At 9:15 AM , Blogger Sling said...

austexgrl- I didn't cry,I just sorta whimpered a little. kiss kiss. ;)

Bad Alice- This really wasn't the first time I've spilled beer on my laptop,it was just the most catastrophic.
Still,this HP is a tough old bastard.

Danny- Hiya Buddy!..I thanked every god I could think of when it fired up. :)

CS- Happy Days indeed!
The thought of losing all my porn was breakin' my heart.

Mom- Your such a Mom.. :)

Sage- I didn't drink it..The heat takes out all the vitamins.
Of course I was naked.How else are you supposed to drunken blog?

Thinker- Surely there is a place in Heaven for my laptop.

Billy P.- You know,that's actually a fine idea!..I'm gettin' me one o' those things.

Middle Child- I like to think of myself as more of a Drama King.

Miss HP- Hey!..Your initials are HP,just like my laptop!
I did have it plugged in,now that you mention it.Maybe the adrenaline rush made me immune to electric shock!..maybe not.

 
At 12:57 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

OK....did you take a crooked photo or did the screen come up shit faced? I am having MAJOR computer issues.....MAJOR. getting lots of crap email....I have no virus program but use Firefox....I'm worried. maybe I need a beer.

 
At 4:29 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Rosie- I took a crooked photo.
..and I'm e-mailing you a link to a free virus program..The same one I've used for years. :)

 
At 6:28 PM , Blogger secret agent woman said...

I did this with a full glass of red wine, but there was no recovery. It literally burned up the inside of my computer - there were horrible black places in it.

 

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