Monday, January 04, 2010

Sling's Predictions for 2010..

Has there been any official word yet,on what exactly we're supposed call this year?
I mean,is it twenty-ten,or two-thousand ten,or ought-ten?..Maybe we could do like they do with hurricanes,and just call it 'Bob'.
I think that would make learning history a lot more user friendly.

'Why,..I remember back in February of Bob when'...

Oops..I'm beginning to see the flaw in this system.
April,May,June...Springtime would sound too much like bed time at 'The Walton's' house.
...'Goodnight June-Bob'..

I'll work on it.,..but in the meantime,I'd like to offer up a few of my predictions for the coming year.

SCIENCE:
Primitive life will be discovered on one of Jupiter's moons!
..World leaders will gather in Geneva,to discuss the possibility of using this new life form as slaves,..or food.

TECHNOLOGY:
Engineers at Cal-Tech will announce a breakthrough new 'easy open' medicine bottle.
..So easy,even a child can do it!

POLITICS:
Mark my words..Ann Coulter will say something bat-shit crazy.

ENTERTAINMENT:
Advance ticket sales among middle class white people for the Elvis/Michael Jackson comeback tour,will be donated by concert promoter Simon Cowell to completely wipe out the national debt of 12 trillion dollars.

INTERNET:
I will have my Facebook account disabled for violating their 'Terms of Service' policy,after I tell an incredible asshole to go fuck himslf.

Here's to a Happy and Prosperous New Year Kids!

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23 Comments:

At 11:25 PM , Blogger Willym said...

Your powers of prediction are frightening but that one about Coulter - are you sure? I mean what are you basing this on? And who the hell is Ann Coulter anyway?

 
At 11:38 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

 
At 12:03 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Willym- Ms. Coulter is an ultra-conservative author,and political commentator.
She's been described as 'Rush Limbaugh in a mini-skirt'..

Anonymous- Thanks for the encouragement.
I've tried blogging sober in the past,and it just wasn't workin' out for me.

 
At 6:27 AM , Blogger secret agent woman said...

I've been alternating between twenty-ten and two thousand ten. Can't decide.

They already have medicine bottles that children can open - they are called child-proof bottles. Now they need to wojrk on bottles the rest of us can open.

 
At 7:24 AM , Blogger jp said...

That year thing bothers me too. Remember when Match Game was Match Game '76, then '77... ? It doesn't really work like that again until we're in the 20's. Match Game '10? Match Game '11?

Never mind, they're all dead anyway.

 
At 7:26 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

hahaha I am surprised Ann Coulter will say something crazy...but it is your prediction..hehehe

 
At 7:52 AM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

It's TWENTY TEN. ANd nothing irritates me more than people who say Oh Ten. Drop the Oh... wer'e in double digits now.

 
At 8:58 AM , Blogger rosemary said...

On a sober note because drink is the only way to cope with winter.....2010 when I was young might as well have been 3167 it sounded so far off in the future. I feel like I am living in an unimaginable number.....but then it's early and I'm not drinking. Yet. Ann Coulter....I predict she will find a way to shove her foot further up her ass thereby making her soul food.

 
At 9:06 AM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

and ann also has a adams apple the size of a grapefruit..bitch(I predict she and Glen Beck will get married and give birth to the anti-christ)
such a smart post..

 
At 9:37 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Secret Agent Woman- I'm thinkin' twenty-ten myself..After all,we didn't party like it was one thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine.

JP- I heard Gene Rayburn had his head frozen in Omaha..

Sage- I tried to place a bet on it in Vegas..Two guys in 3-piece suits escorted me out the door.

Thinker- Gotcha..Double-ought-ten it is!

Rosie- I remember that we were all supposed to have flying cars by now.
The 21st century is really turning out to be a huge disappointment.

Yellerdawg- ..and Shawn Hannity will be it's godmother.

 
At 11:37 AM , Blogger jan said...

Can't we just call it "10"? The other words are just redundant.

 
At 1:40 PM , Blogger Mom said...

I'm still having trouble not writing 19 to start what year it is.
It will be nice to have the nation debt free.

 
At 5:57 PM , Blogger Elizabeth said...

"Bob" work for me (and makes me laugh)!

But as for the Entertainment prediction, Simon Cowell will never part with a penny of his $$$!

 
At 6:00 PM , Blogger booda baby said...

I used to think it took some balls to predict anything, but that was before I took drinking into account. Or the idea that there was anything to predict about Ann Coulter. Which is a bothersome idea since she's so predictable. Eeek.

 
At 6:42 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Jan- I get what you're saying about the redundancy,but '10' just doesn't satisfy the palate,for some unknowable reason.

Mom-
I found myself writing '99' instead of '09'..It's like the numerals were working their way backwards.

Elizabeth- My very first words were,'Oh Bob'..No doubt,a phrase I had heard my mom repeat in exhasperation at my dad. ;)

Booda Babe- It's all about the math!..I knew I'd get at least 25% of my predictions right with the Ann Coulter thing.
..Maybe not up to Nostradamus' batting average,but still...

 
At 7:37 PM , Blogger Nit Wit said...

I almost had to get my 2 year old Granddaughter to open my pill bottles today but I had a pair of pliers handy that I use to open water bottles.
Ann Coulter also has the longest wrist bones I've ever seen.
I thought that concert was already sold out.

 
At 5:46 AM , Blogger Citymouse said...

so hey... do you know where I can get some front row tickets?

 
At 3:34 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

i guess we can put all those creatures from the moon in district nine.

can you get those cal tech guys to do something about the hard plastic shells that encase electronic gizmos?

i've got a drawer of those things i can't open.

 
At 6:00 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Nit Wit- Hey!..I have a 2 year old grandson!
He can't open medicine bottles,but he makes a mean whiskey sour.

Mouse- Why,yes I do.
Just send $19.95 to:
Sling
c/o O-Town
..and I'll hook you up!

Billy P.- I bought a special tool on the internet,designed specifically for opening those hard plastic cases!
..It came in a hard plastic case.

 
At 7:23 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

February of Bob!--LOL! :)

 
At 10:59 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Miss HP- Thanks doll..I'l be here all week! ;)

 
At 10:08 AM , Blogger laurent said...

you have been reading the National Enquirer again.
Good predictions.

 
At 10:54 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Bob sounds okay...I was thinking of Beryl but Bob is alright - hey

 

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