Thursday, September 16, 2010

Sling Trek II: The Wrath of the Post Office....

There's a black hole,..right here in the center of O-Town!
A perpetually swirling vortex of unfathomable chaos,where the immutable laws of physics collapse upon themselves,and the inter-dimensional barriers between our familiar plane of existence,and theoretical parallel universes are breached.
A gravitational nightmare from which matter,light,..and the U.S. Mail cannot escape.

..and it's all my fault.

I initiated this catastrophic phenomenon when I recklessly submitted a 'Change of address' form to the Post Office.
This set in motion a chain of events whereby ALL my mail was sucked into the bureaucratic abyss for a period of no less than 10 days!
..No letters..No statements..NO PAYCHECKS!!

Still,and inexplicably,..it was no problem for the wizards at the Post Office to somehow circumvent the insatiable cosmic behemoth,and forward this 'Change of address Confirmation' letter to my new address..


So it would seem that the great black hole of O-Town is beginning to loosen it's grip,and that finally,time,space,and my income will return to their proper functions.

The only thing left is to solve the riddle of the 'Addressee Paradox'.

The confirmation includes the explicit instruction;..'If the information contained on this page is incorrect...please call 1-800-ASK-USPS'..

The Addressee Paradox poses the question:..If the information contained in the letter is incorrect,..how did I receive it?

83 Comments:

At 6:17 AM , Blogger Charlene said...

The mail forwarding address change dynamic has troubled us as mobile Americans forever. I can imagine a Conestoga wagon creeping across the plains from Virginia to Nebraska and that important letter about the woman in the couple's brother's death, taking twenty years to find her.

I've moved 10 times within the same city in the past 40+ years and every time I have dutifully completed the address change card. I have always had a delay of from a week to three weeks in getting my mail.

These days with direct deposit, electronic bills and electronic payment of bills, as well as private and business correspondence being done by e.mail, the US Post Office is becoming irrelevant. What this means is before long you will be able to move physically and there will be no reason to put in an address change with the post office.

 
At 7:51 AM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

they did the same thing to be back in the 70's..screwed up my social security checks for 6 months..hadn't been for my Daddy I don't know what I would have done..bastids.but her in west you can send me a letter addressed to Jacque and the zip code and it will get to me..I know because my granddaughters sent me a birthday card and thats all they wrote..jacque
west, texas 76691...cool huh?

 
At 8:27 AM , Blogger Mom said...

Sling, you complain so beautifully!
The change of address problem is one of the many reasons I haven't moved in the last 45 years.

 
At 8:51 AM , Blogger Jan said...

I once got an email from a CA state university asking me to let them know if i DIDN'T receive the message.

 
At 1:24 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

maybe your cat hissed at the mailman and scared him off.

 
At 1:57 PM , Blogger laurent said...

The Addressee Paradox poses the question:..If the information contained in the letter is incorrect,..how did I receive it?

Sling you are asking too many dangerous questions. The Post Office is never wrong.

 
At 6:19 PM , Blogger secret agent woman said...

Ooh, some official at the P.O. is going to get you for that question!

 
At 9:09 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

LOL! Good point, my friend. Good point. :)

 
At 6:24 AM , Blogger booda baby said...

Suddenly, all that Rush Limbaugh starts coming in handy, hm? Staying solid and patient in the face of
convoluted suction (can you have both of those at the same time?) of all things important ... well, it needs practice.

The comments on this post were very fun.

 
At 5:26 PM , Blogger austexgrl said...

Life is full of... conumdrums!

 
At 6:07 PM , Blogger Sling said...

It's been 11 days,so I called the nice lady at Post Office Central,who assured me I would get my mail today!...I didn't.
Tomorrow I'm marching into the post office,and go all landscaper on their ass!!

 
At 9:36 AM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

Beware of landscapers.... they carry sharp trimming and hedging objects.

 
At 10:08 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

How come with all the technology they have at hand things seem to be becomming less reliable and less accountable - I can still remember how things were done here in the 1960's I think we've lost something along the way

 
At 4:46 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

Don't get me started about the Post Office. Rural living is ripe for screw ups with mail.....theft among the screw ups. "Why, Mrs. Olsen no one out in your area would steal your mail. Did you look in the right box?"

 
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