Thursday, July 08, 2010

SB90210..


I am sure it will come as no surprise to any God fearing American living in today's world,that America is under attack by a ruthless,and here-to-fore unchecked segment of the population. Ravenous hordes of malevolent intruders upon our shores,whose sole intent is to drain our resources,inflict their foreign lifestyle upon our citizens,maliciously disrupt our way of life,and reject the moral principles our country's founding fathers put in place over 200 years ago.
Yes,..I'm talking about the clear and present danger posed by the demonic group of marauders known as 'teenage girls!'..

Who among us has not been subject to their persistent rebellion against the values we hold so dear?
Not a days goes by that yet another report of Robbery,Assault,or perpetration of random hate crimes  by adolescent females doesn't dominate the news.
And yet,the Federal Government,either by neglect or design,has failed to address these ever increasing incidents of,..umm,..SCOFF-LAW-ERY!

Which is why I'm introducing SB(Sling's Bill)90210,or the 'Shit-teenage-girls-do-that-really-pisses-us-off -law' to the Bloggertown legislature,in a desperate attempt to curtail this onslaught,and restore some measure of stability to our beloved culture.
Under this law,anyone found to be a teenage girl may be detained,deprived of their cell phones,and turned over to the INS for processing,and eventual deportation to boarding school in Switzerland.

Quite naturally,there will be some resistance from bleeding heart Liberals who will claim that enforcement of SB90210 will lead to gender profiling.
Nothing could be further from the truth,because included in the Bill is the strictly worded instruction that,'Enforcement Officers may not use gender as the basis for determining whether or not the subject is a teenage girl,..but may rely only on 'that niggling feeling',..or the persistent manner in which the little bitch kept looking at me,while holding her fingers in the 'L' sign to her forehead'.

Still,and from time to time,it is understood that the occasional mis-identification may occur during massive sweeps of areas known to be frequented by teenage girls..
Such as with Gays,Transsexuals,Cross-Dressers,and Justin Bieber.

While this may result in the temporary distress and inconvenience for some,I think the important thing to remember,is that it will have absolutely no affect on me...

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19 Comments:

At 12:10 PM , Blogger Jan said...

Love it.

My teenage granddaughter is staying with me this week, but she obviously does not fit this mold, being from my loins and all.

 
At 12:17 PM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

This blog post was well worth the wait. I concur that this gum chewing, texting, lip smacking adolescent menace is the root of every problem we have in this country. I predict that with passage of this bill, not only will every able bodied American seeking work be able to find a job but I also predict that BP will once and for all be able to plug up that ecologolical nightmare of a hole that is ruining our shorelines.

 
At 5:48 PM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

hip hip hooray he's back.and brilliant as usual.

 
At 5:55 PM , Blogger Charlene said...

A commedian on the Bonnie Hunt Show this morning [probably a rerun] said it was well worth the $40K it was going to cost her to get rid of the teenage girl in her house, when she sent her to college in a few weeks!

 
At 6:07 PM , Blogger secret agent woman said...

Me, I was a model citizen as a teenage girl. Well, except for the underage drinking.

I only have teenage boys in my household, although the teenage girl who is my older son's girlfriend is a complete sweetheart.

Wonder if that bunch of comment son your last post was from a Chinese teen, as a form of hate crime?

 
At 6:48 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Jan- I think we'll probably have to consider deportation on a case by case basis.

Thinker- I'm counting on all of those benefits,not to mention shorter lines at theatres during showings of the Twilight movies,to help push this bill through!

Yellerdawg- I love you. :)

Charlene- That's what us politicos refer to as 'Moderate administrative expenses'..

Secret Agent Woman- 'The law is the law!',and underage drinking will earn you a ticket to Switzerland!..Didn't you actually go to boarding school in Switzerland?..Credit for time served.
As far as the son's sweetheart,I'll be introducing a bill soon which deals with the problem of 'Anchor Girlfriends'..

 
At 12:31 PM , Blogger laurent said...

I say Sling for President, we have this teenage girl phenomena here in Italy, its terrible, Will comments on it all the time. But try to get the Pope to do something about it, no way he is too busy elsewhere.

 
At 1:05 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

as a true christian i am prepared to offer sanctuary to a few of these girls.

 
At 4:37 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

After that we can start on old men with walking frames - I reckon

 
At 6:21 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Laurent- Holy crap!..I see teenage girls are a problem of pandemic proportions!

Billy P.- My office has been flooded with requests to be sanctuary Bloggers..You're on the short list.

Middle Child- don't worry..By the time the 2012 elections roll around,we'll have a whole new focus group of things to fear.
..It's what we do.

 
At 6:33 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

Yay, you're back blogging again!--it's about freakin' time!! *smiles*

And as usual, you crack me up--thanks for the laugh! :)

 
At 10:44 PM , Blogger Mom said...

So do you think I should just hide my 6 teenage granddaughters until they are no longer a threat?

 
At 1:17 AM , Blogger Sling said...

Miss HP- I know I've been a rotten blogger of late.
..My bad.
The battle over immigration on Facebook is really taking up a lot of my time and energy.
I'm glad you came away from this post with some grins. :)

Mom- That would probably be best,..although girls of any age can still be considered a threat. ;)

 
At 7:04 AM , Blogger Shrinky said...

Can we make this a global law? I currently have two teenage girls I can't wait to sign up for Switzerland, and it'll serve 'em darn well right, too!!

 
At 7:27 PM , Blogger booda baby said...

I'll call all my representatives and harangue them into voting for your Bill, but only if it extends to their mothers.

 
At 9:10 PM , Blogger Elizabeth said...

I live with 3.5 teenage girls (one is on the brink) and they MUST. BE. STOPPED!

 
At 9:50 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Can anyone read this - I wish they would bugger off...you might need word verification Sling because they come in over and over...good luck with the translation - maybe they want your account details so they can give you 5 billion dollars or something

 
At 5:53 AM , Blogger Citymouse said...

Now we need to target teenaged girls from every contry --- maybe we can start a rehab center -- I 'll send my in first !

 
At 9:51 PM , Anonymous 網站設計 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

 

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