Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Bullet Points...

I really haven't abandoned my blog.
There's just been such a buttload of crap transpire of late in the world,that I'm finding myself a little short staffed.

I'd like to hire a co-ed Asian cheerleader assistant,but so far,the only applicants I've had are construction workers,ex-Toyota salesmen in polyester suits,and half a dozen unsavory types that list Bernie Madoff as a personal reference.

In any case,..these things have been on my mind..

  • 'The Oil Spill'..Three words that will henceforth be the standard by which all future incredible examples of corporate hubris,and political malfeasance will be compared...Just like everyone knows that in the lexicon of pharmacopoeia, 'The Pill' signifies the single most important medical advance since Hippocrates first advocated the use of leeches for the treatment of 'ephemeral humours',we now have an unambiguous phrase to define the irretrievable fuckery the human race is capable of inflicting on the environment..
    I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'm having serious physical manifestations of pain every time I think about this unforgivable thing we have done to our planet,and the fact that the ramifications of this catastrophe will surely outlive me
    well into the senior years of my grandchildren.
    ..I picked a fine time to stop smoking crack.

  • Speaking of progeny,..I think about mine every day..Changes in their circumstance,and my recent re-connection with my youngest son occupy my thoughts to the point of distraction on a regular basis..Everyone is fine,mind you,but here I am,and there they are,..and ain't this a bitch that the distance imposed by miles and years conspires to keep them from my embrace.

  • For the sake of easy reference,I will list my observations to the passage of Arizona's immigration law SB1070,.. in alphabetical order;

  • A) WHAT THE FUCK??!!
    B)  Who are these people that are so willing to codify their bigotry,that they will happily strike so many guaranteed protections from the Bill of Rights?
    C)  Boy howdy,and ain't every sleazebag Republican politician racing to jump on the so-called 'illegal immigrant' problem. 'They're taking our jobs!'..They're draining our economy!'..'WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACK!!".. ..What's this 'WE' shit,..white-man? I swear to God..The first time somebody asks me or my kin to provide proof of citizenship,there's gonna be five of us going to jail...Me,and the four uniformed thugs it takes to drag me there!

  • **On the brighter side**

  • Today is voting day in the Primaries for California,and several other states as well!..
    Dont'cha know that I got up bright and early,shaved my ugly mug,splashed on some Old Spice,and toddled my happy ass on down to the O-Town municipal auditorium and tractor supply store,to cast my vote for sanity in our time.
    Yes..Even I know the difference when it bites me in the ass.



    At 6:05 PM , Blogger secret agent woman said...

    See, I love you just for slapping A, B, and C in front of your objections and calling it alphabetical order.

    At 6:09 PM , Blogger Sling said...

    Secret Agent Woman- If I didn't have a little fun with my anger and frustration,i'd go postal! ;)

    At 7:33 PM , Blogger Charlene said...

    My sister, the woman who likes to forward e.mail in groups of bigotry, is complicit in the alphabetical A. B. and C.

    Old Spice, huh? Man, I might change my vote for a man wearing Old Spice. Can't even get Old Spice here in Louisville. If I could, I'd sprinkle it on my sheets!

    At 9:05 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

    Dude, as usual, you are SPOT ON. BP and Arizona are both on my shit list right now.

    P.S. You got me to swear in writing again--although believe it or not, I swear like a trucker in my real life. *smiles*

    At 9:56 PM , Blogger Mom said...

    Welcome back. I love ya Sling!

    At 12:59 AM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

    it was well worth the wait for you rant..im so pissed off i can't even post about the oil spill..and it's going to be lapping at texas shores soon...wait till a hurricane hits and drives it up the beaches into nebraska..sigh*

    At 6:23 AM , Blogger Sling said...

    Charlene- I get those kind of emails from The Partner..I told him not to bother,'cause I'll just delete them.
    I love Old Spice!..It's not 'hip' or anything,it just smells like a man is 'sposed to smell.

    Miss Pottymouth- Those are the two things that have been occupying most of my thoughts lately.
    I didn't feel like ranting about it every day on my blog because,..damn. ;)

    Mom- It wasn't that long really..Just a week.
    I love you right back. :)

    Yellerdawg- No feckin' shit on the hurricane season thing!..It's gonna be raining tarballs from by-goddess Texas,to freakin' Maine!
    ..My stomach hurts.

    At 6:28 AM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

    i suspect some other areas of deep water drilling around the planet may have even poorer enforcement of safety rules and regulations. i feel like choking every time i hear tony hayward saying safety is the number one priority of bp, me and ruby's hackles raise.

    At 7:13 AM , Blogger Sling said...

    Billy P.- I kid you not Billy,I just this very minute heard on my local news that some 250 dead sea turtles have been retrieved off Luisianna..I thought of you and Ruby.

    At 9:41 AM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

    Every morning as I wake up to the "Today" show they trot another one of the BP a-holes out. "We don't really know how much oil is being released but we are very happy that we are currently capturing 15 thousands barrels a day. That's oil that isn't spilling into the ocean."

    You, sir, are either delusional or the most amoral human on earth. Too bad it's not a Japanese company where ritual suicide would be the expectation.

    Capitalism left to it's own unregulated devices will always result in somebody being hurt somewhere. The magnitude of this one is epic.

    At 10:06 AM , Blogger sageweb said...

    Oh the oil spill and arizona make me sick to my stomach. also all the commercials of Meg Whitman make me very sick..I wanna take her granny suit and give it to a homeless woman.

    At 5:20 PM , Blogger Sling said...

    Thinker- You wanna get really mad?
    Sarah Palin blames ENVIRONMENTALISTS for the disaster,because they fought so hard against drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge on land,where it would be easier to handle the problem..Bitch actually tweeted,'Get it NOW Greenies?'
    ..I really despise that woman.

    Sage- I'm actually glad Meg got the Republican nomination..Jerry Brown is gonna kick her ass in November! :)

    At 5:24 PM , Blogger booda baby said...

    Well, if you're going to have stuff on your mind, you picked good ones, the sort that could keep a person without brown beverage additives up at night. Sometimes, it's hard to believe how much time I've spent pretending to solve the oil spill; it's a little to very frustrating to know I don't own one little skill, not one, that might come in handy. I'm pretty sure sending everyone with their sponges down to the Gulf would only cause massive traffic jams. :(

    At 6:50 PM , Blogger Sling said...

    Booda Babe- Sponges make a lot more sense than stuffing nylons with human hair,or just straight up nuking the damn thing shut!
    ..Two things that have been considered.

    At 2:26 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

    Speaking of hair....how about that Fiorina comment! Now then....you are on target with the oil spill...that is a rather strange word to use....spill...makes me think of wiping up a glass of milk. There must be a better word...gusher, ginormous screw up blow out, something. Arizona...just the name of the state irritates me...and Sling I know all too well thinking of kids everyday that live hundreds and thousands of miles away and remembering how it feels to hug them.

    At 2:30 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

    may I add my own commentary on other current events because I am too lazy to write a blog post. What parents allow their child to climb Mt Way-too-high-for-even-a-sane-adult AND then there are the parentss who allowed their daughter to sail away to go around the world or some other crazy route....AND NOW SHE IS LOST AT SEA.

    At 7:07 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

    Old Spice - my goodness. is that still around - my dad used this exclusively till he died in 1969 and I haven't thought about it since...

    I know what you mean about the kids and living away from them. it seems crazy to spend whats left of your life living hundreds of kilometres away from those you love the most - but how to decide who to live close to...I can't choose so i stay here...

    There are freedom stealing laws being enacted worldwide in countries with both right and left wing governments - and it seems to be a world wide thing - its the same here but mainly its stealing land rights and usage from farmers who grow food...and jobs because of free trade agreements with China...nobody seems to be thinking about what legacy we will be leaving our grandchildren...its all about now and the 30 second news grab...

    At 10:35 AM , Blogger laurent said...

    Don't you love it the oil spill now is 6 times greater than the gloomiest predictions and the famous cap does not work really.
    Why has Obama not offered more help to the striken communities? I am puzzled about that. It is all about what will be done and not about what can we do now.
    I also find it rich that your great ally Britain is now saying that the whole BP thing is a anti-British campaign.

    At 8:35 AM , Blogger Shrinky said...

    I was totally with you up until the Old Spice. I'm thinking of voting Republican now..


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