Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Wrath of the Post Office..Episode IV.

My ever continuing battle with the Post Office has raged on,subsequent to my last installment.
Ten days turned into two weeks,..turned into sixteen days,without a trace of the lost checks to be found.
Finally,and at last,I contacted all the parties involved in an effort to void the errant instruments,and issue new ones in their stead.

..No problem.

All it took was three phone calls,(which sucked up 72 minutes of pre-paid cell phone time),to convince them that the checks had been lost to the nether regions of Post Office hell,and that I was indeed who I claimed to be,..and could they please FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD kick me down their replacements!!

Yesterday,I received the affidavits necessary to set the wheels of recompense in motion.
Two pages of ass-covering legalese wherein I pledged allegiance to Mammon,god of banking,that the checks have been lost,stolen,or destroyed,..and that if by some miracle they should ever find their way to my new address,I would not under any circumstances attempt to cash them!
They have assured me that the whole matter will be set aright at the speed of a Post Office worker on Vallium,...within ten days.

Well don'cha know I filled them suckers out lickity-split,put them into my mail box this very morning,and dutifully raised the little red flag that alerts the postman to outgoing correspondence in need of immediate attention!

Diligent civil servant that he is,he retrieved that precious plea just two hours ago in accordance with his daily duties,so that it is now winging it's way off to fulfill it's noble mission!

...Guess what he delivered at that self-same moment,none the worse for wear,.embossed with little yellow stickers advising me to 'notify sender of new address'?

I am so NOT.FUCKING.KIDDING...

140 Comments:

At 9:48 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

I was going to add "you must be kidding" till I saw your last line - Ringing any government department or big business - means setting aside a half a day about and then - after speaking with someone in the Phillipines, (about a phone problem) I ended up in Calcutta or somewhere being told that because I lived in Riral area, the inteference on my line must be because I had an "Electrocution Fence nearby" Solution! It took some convincing that the only fences I have have barbed wire on them and it was all i could do to restrain myslef from telling him to please find himself the nearest electrocution fence and attach himself to it...then he argued with me that this was not my phone account! I said well i get the bills and they are in my name. He asked "Are You Donald and Therese Mackay?" Garrrgh! I have told them every single time since Don died and I did all the reporting that you do - in writing I may add...that there was just lil old me here now...at the end...after more time...he wished me a nice evening - it was mid morning....Good luck with your cheques Sling

 
At 3:29 AM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

judas priest...
which is why I have direct deposit..
hope you get your money soon..this sucks, bites and blows.

 
At 6:44 AM , Blogger Mom said...

So did you cash them immediately?
I would cash them and send a letter to explain they came and let them figure out what to do about it.
Bureaucracy is a wonderful thing.

 
At 9:34 AM , Blogger Shrinky said...

Bloody Hell, they're having a laugh, aren't they? Sheesh!

Does your posties REALLY pick up the stuff you want to post from your door? We poor Plebs have to go to the post office, or find a post box for that.

 
At 9:43 AM , Blogger laurent said...

Sling are you living in Albania? This adventure sounds like the Albanian Postal Service.

 
At 10:30 AM , Blogger Elizabeth said...

Neither rain, sleet, or snow can stop 'em, but general incompetence will triumph where nature fails. Yikes!

 
At 11:29 AM , Blogger Charlene said...

I agreen with Yellowdawg, DIRECT DEPOSIT! if at all possible.

I've heard simiilar scenarios with the delightful Address Change System. It does happen to a few and you Sling were one of the lucky few.

Shrinky, I can attest to pick-ups and delivery of US mail at my door; both home and work. I even use their Click'N Ship system to send flat rate boxes of things. I print out a label with that funny bar code mail equivalent, pay through my credit card and order my carrier to nag me if the box isn't at the door. It's super!

 
At 3:44 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

wow, that sounds spooky. maybe there is something to the divine creation theory.

 
At 5:42 PM , Blogger jp said...

I'm never moving anywhere ever again.

 
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At 5:39 AM , Blogger secret agent woman said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

Oh, sorry, I got caught up in the spambot's' enthusiasm.

That's crazy - but when you think about, it had to happen exactly that way for the sake of the story.

 
At 9:48 AM , Blogger Anne said...

I didn't know you wrote about the theatre, dawling....

unless it's a check-receiving drama?

 
At 9:13 AM , Blogger rosemary said...

Yup. I read those theater thingys...and missed you too...and I believe that the Post Offices latest stamp increase denial is proof they still use delivery horses and wagons across the country.

 
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At 9:31 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Anonybrat- I'm e-mailing you..

 
At 12:21 PM , Blogger Bad Alice said...

Our mail is quite frequently delivered to someone down the street, who drops it off along with her Avon catalogs. Meanwhile we continue to get mail for the 20 or so people who seem to have lived in our house at some point. The IRS and Social Security wish to contact them, it seems.

 
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Oh Sling..... I miss you.

 
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Random Thinker said it best!!!

Facebook is not the same

 
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sling! the chinese have taken control of your blog.

anything i can do to help?

 
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