Tuesday, February 20, 2007

BLUE IS GONE!!!..

I rode Ol' Blue to the store last night,was in there for ten lousy minutes,and when I came out,Blue was gone.
Spirited away by some nefarious bastard..
What kind of twisted individual would steal a kindly old man's bicycle??
The kind that's gonna get his lungs handed to him if I ever catch up to him....sonofabitch..

The O-Town Constabulary has released this composite picture of a man they say is,"A person of interest" in the misdeed,and chief of police Orace Schmendrick has vowed to seriously consider looking into the crime at some point,..sooner or later..
After an appropriate grieving time had passed,(45 minutes),I beat feet it down to Wal-Mart and adopted a new bike.This one is red,but Ol' Red sounds crappy so I'm naming it "The Spirit of Oxnard"...Much better dont'cha think?..

21 Comments:

At 5:39 PM , Blogger Meander said...

awww....your poor bike. but i do like your new shnazzy one!

 
At 6:32 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

Sling....BUY A LOCK AND USE IT. OK? There are assholes in every city in the U.S. and the one in O town found your bike. Didn't take 10 minutes either....took 10 seconds. I am a grandmother....I know these things.

 
At 12:45 AM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Ah Sling...bloody hell why would anyone want your poore bloody old bike... because they could I guess.

I seldom lock the kombi's doors - there are too many and I can never get my keys out when arriving back at the van...I hate having to lock up things...but maybe a rosemary says buy a lock and use it..but the reall thieves have tools to deal with locks but at least you'd be deterring the amateurs... hope the new bike is okay.

 
At 3:37 AM , Blogger apositivepessimist said...

Well I hope the stealer of ol' blue and a mack truck have a karmic meeting sooner, or later. Thieving bastid.

ooer the new one looks a bit of alright aye.

 
At 4:15 AM , Blogger HORIZON said...

What a cretin SLing. Hope you have better luck with the new ride :)

 
At 7:03 AM , Blogger Citymouse said...

spirt looks very cool! did you file a report about blue...sounds silly but you really should

 
At 7:56 AM , Blogger ruby rocks said...

the dirty fuckers! maybe jim rockford can find it.

i call mine the red rocket and the black russian. i've bought my last 3 bikes used. i wonder if they were stolen. i only ride my crappy bike to places i have to leave it unattended.

i always get a kick out the guys that remove their seat and front wheel when the park.

long may the spirit of o' town run.

 
At 11:00 AM , Blogger Red7Eric said...

Pore ol' Blue. I hope he rides his new thief-owners in front of a speeding truck. So there.

 
At 11:24 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I do not like it when people take the things of others. Bastids indeed.

Here's to "The Spirit of Oxnard" (which has me blowing milk out my nose, btw)...long may she wave.

Tequila!

 
At 1:12 PM , Blogger CSL said...

Ooh, you had your bike stolen by Pee Wee? That is so rotten. Hoe your enjoying the new wheels, but why Oxnard?

 
At 1:43 PM , Blogger Wizened Wizard said...

Well, that really sucks, Sling. People - - - they're the worst.

Do you think maybe somebody would be less likely to steal a bike named Oxnard?

 
At 4:12 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Holy Crap!..all these comments.
I love coming home from work,firin' up the computron,and seeeing that so many of you have dropped by in my absence to offer condolences and...hey?,..what happened to all my beer?..

 
At 5:29 PM , Blogger barista brat said...

poor sling!

the new bike is pretty cool, tho!

 
At 8:13 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

You snooze (or go to work) you lose (and we all get shit faced on your dime....or maybe it was a hundred bucks).

 
At 2:53 AM , Blogger Grish said...

If I had your address I'd mail ya a lock. :-)

Have you ever watched the vampire movie 'Blade?' You remember his sword and the spring loaded hilt? Those handle bars are about the same size...:-P

 
At 1:47 PM , Blogger jp said...

I've seen the perpetrator somewhere before... I'm thinking that, no, I'm certain that he was sitting a few rows behind me in the movie theater, by himself, trenchcoat...

 
At 5:37 PM , Blogger Jay said...

I guess it turns out that you have a pretty fickle heart.

 
At 6:10 AM , Blogger Dan said...

You're a very nice man, indeed, for heading over to your local bicycle shelter and adopting another bike in need of a home (and an ass on its seat).

And if you do catch the guy who stole your other bike, why hand him his lungs? I'd contribute them to your local animal shelter. Nice treat for the dogs.

 
At 11:56 AM , Blogger Allan said...

'Kindly old man'? I thought you were talking about YOUR bike.

 
At 4:01 PM , Blogger Sling said...

..I was wonderin' if anybody was gonna call me on the "kindly old man" deal.. ;)

 
At 8:48 PM , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

wow, this may be my favorite post...has all the things i love...bikes(mine was named Blossom Bailey Roycroft)...Pee Wee, kindly ol'men...(hu huh, yeah, right)...and my favorite city in Calif..Oxnard...I love to say Oxnard....when I die I want them to put 'she would rather be in Oxnard' on my headstone..
actually what I want put on my headstone is "ON THE OTHER HAND"...
I don't know why...but that cracks me up..

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home