Monday, January 18, 2010

Bible Whiplash...

You know how you spend the better part of your life reading the Bible and at first the chapters seem like a collection of stories from days gone by but the more you read it the more clear it becomes that it's a brilliantly conceived lesson plan designed to raise us up not just as individuals but as a truly blessed species and over the years you slowly begin to recognize the power and truth in the simple words of the Beatitudes and light begins to dawn on what the Parables of Jesus really mean and how their wisdom is every bit as relevant today as it was two-thousand years ago so that you just naturally assume that all those words highlighted in red mean what they say and from those words spring the message of Hope and Peace and Brotherhood..
..and then some DICKWEED!! self-proclaimed prophet who professes to know the mind of God uses the power of the pulpit to promote his own special brand of hate and prejudice by proclaiming a horrendous natural disaster to be God's judgement on an entire population of largely innocent men women and children before a glassy-eyed throng of like minded minions who smugly congratulate themselves on their obvious righteousness even as their fellow sapiens lie dying in the rubble of the devastated streets..and now all you really wanna do is snatch 'em up by the hair on their head and kick their asses all the way from here to Megiddo in a decidedly un-Christian fashion?
..It's like that.



At 1:22 PM , Blogger jan said...

I am in total awe at your ability to construct two sentences of such a magnitude and my ability to comprehend them.

At 1:28 PM , Blogger Mom said...


At 1:35 PM , Blogger sageweb said...

very true! Do you ever wonder why the woman that was standing next to Pat when he made those statements doesnt punch him out?

At 2:46 PM , Blogger laurent said...

Some of his flock should buy him a one way ticket to Haiti, so he could gain an appreciation for the situation, but then again I think it is beyond him to understand anything. Sad really.

At 4:16 PM , Blogger billy pilgrim said...

and the government gives him charitable status and the ability to hand out phony baloney tax receipts.

At 4:34 PM , Blogger Bad Alice said...

Well said.

At 6:28 PM , Blogger Random Thinker said...

Mr. Robertson should pray that God doesn't give him what he deserves for being a pompous, self-righteous, corrupt blowhard. If I believed in hell, I'd hope there was a special sort of hell for people like him.

At 10:53 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Jan- See how easy it is!..You read..You think..Done deal. :)

Mom- ..and a blessing on your house.

Sage- I know!..I mean,..doesn't anyone in the congregation raise their hand during one of this guy's sermons and go,'Umm,..'scuse me,..but yer outta yer freakin' mind!'.

Laurent- One day,perhaps medical science will find a cure for terminal abject ignorance.

Billy P.- It's outrageous!..Which is why I'm offering a special discount to all my blogpals that wish to become ministers in my 'Church of Blogtopia' for the low-low introductory price of just $99.95!..
Plus shipping and handling.

Bad Alice- Thanks doll. :)

Thinker- My favorite Lutheran minister defined Hell as 'The absence of God',which I interpreted to mean that as dismal as things may appear,it isn't really Hell on earth when there is a glimmer of goodness to be found.
..I think Pat's Hell would be a world where the people he's trying to fleece,have actually read The Bible.

At 8:03 AM , Blogger booda baby said...

Allow me to recommend agnosticism. We don't know enough to think we're right.

I came across a bit that bewailed the unfairness of it all; essentially, 'Why, O Why, God, did you let this happen?' It was asked from a place of great and deep sympathy. Still, it struck me as the flip side of Robertson's despicable arrogance - the consequence of a belief in a God that orchestrates or interferes or decides on the fly and sits in perpetual judgment. You certainly don't have to reply to this since it's just an observation, but ... is that how it works?

At 1:14 PM , Blogger rosemary said...

1. we need to talk about commas and periods (as in punctuation).

2. Right on, right on, right on.

at the end when i read the label I would have sworn that impacted bowels raced across my screen.

At 1:29 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

Pat Robertson sucks. (By the way, did you happen to see the Pat Robertson voodoo doll that's for sale on eBay? Check out an explanation of it at my friend Jonathan's blog, :)

At 4:46 PM , Blogger Allan said...

You had it right at DICKWEED.

At 5:22 PM , Blogger Middle Child said...

Don't know who Pat Robertson and rush Limbaugh are -

This is one powerful post Sling. The only religion I have, is the one that comes out of my own heart and soul - based on what I know and have understood and probably picked up from a smattering of religion taught in childhood...which was taught from a gentle mother and father's example -

I have never understood fanaticism of any sort.

God gave us a mind and heart as good as anyone else's on the planet. We all have the ability to understand teachings which have stood the test of time.

Dickweed - hahaha still laughing

At 9:13 PM , Blogger Sling said...

Booda Babe- I made the deliberate attempt to call the whole tragedy a natural disaster.
Which I believe is what it was.
The Agnostic in me doesn't necessarily imagine an omnipotent being,perpetually pressing an infinite number of buttons in an effort to control all the wonders of Heaven..The Christian in me,has read enough of the Bible to understand that I wouldn't be privy to that process if there were.

Rosie- Sorry..I was on a roll. ;)

Miss HP- I'll check it out,but I already know the irony will be delicious!

Allan- I thought so too,but 'Pat (DICKWEED!!) Robertson' makes for a woefully short post.

Middle Child- 'Don't know who Pat Robertson and rush Limbaugh are -'..You just made my whole day!..Just goes to show that those two idiots don't wield the power over global opinion they imagine themselves to possess.
I can tell you that both of them rely heavily on their followers being too lazy to think for themselves.

At 9:01 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Amen and Amen again, my brother.

At 5:18 PM , Blogger YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

that's why I am a follower of the Goddess, she's a woman and no one will ever figure out what's on her mind and she wouldn't make a pact with any of them right wing assholes if it cured pms.

At 7:03 PM , Blogger austexgrl said...

Sorry Mr. Sling after I was brutally raped, and there was murder and two suicides in my family.. I no longer believe in God, the bible, or fairy tales. I believe in honest love and friendship.


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