Phone Phreak..

I really hate talking on the phone.
Mostly because you can't see the person's face that you're talking to,so you can't tell if they are lying or not...which they probably are.
That's why they call,instead of talking to you face to face.
Plus,..I totally suck at small talk.
"Hi Sling!"
"Hi"
"How are you?"...
"Fine".
"Watcha doin'?"...
"nuthin'"...after this initially electric exchange,the conversation pretty much becomes strained.

So,I usually just tell people not to bother calling me,because I won't answer the phone anyway.I really won't...I'm not kidding.

"Oh my God!..How can you NOT answer the phone?...What if it's an emergency?"..
"Like what?"
"Well,..like,what if somebody died?"
"Then they're gonna be just as dead whether you call me or not,so why should I let that ruin MY day?"..

Throw in assorted telemarketers,and sundry other forms of peddlers,and the telephone becomes nothing more than a huge source of irritation.

The only time I really feel the need to use the phone,is when I call in sick to work..Like this morning.

"Good morning,K's Kustom Kabs"
"Hi,this is Sling,..I'm not feeling well this morning,kinda feverish,I think it's best if I stay home today"..
"Okay Sling,take care of yourself,and hope you're feeling better soon!"
"Thanks..Bye-bye".

I don't mind talking on the phone in this case at all 'cause,..you know,...I was lying.

EDIT:...Sorry,..I couldn't resist.