I AM SO THERE!!...

Tuesday Jan. 13,2009.
SYDNEY (Australia)
Position: Island caretaker.
Duties: Lazing around Australia's Great Barrier Reef for six months.
Salary: 150,000 Australian dollars ($100,000).

The tourism department in Australia's Queensland state has advertised that it is seeking one lucky person to spend half a year relaxing on Hamilton Island,while promoting the island on a blog!

Holy flyin' crap!..I can do this!..

I was born for the job..
I literally grew up on the beach in Southern California,and have a working knowledge of coastal ocean environments.
Add to that my prodigious snorkeling prowess,and my years of experience in the Blogosphere,I think I'd make a sterling candidate for this position.
Hell,..I could even survive on this remote island eating nothing but peanut butter sandwiches if I had to!..

Of course,they're expecting thousands of applications for this plum assignment,so in an effort to set myself apart from the ravenous hordes,I'm FedExing them an audio sample of my narrative skills,which I have transcribed here for your shopping convenience:
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'Today,we're venturing out into the shallow waters off the Southern tip of Hamilton Island,on a unique snorkeling adventure!
Here,on Australia's fabulous Barrier Reef,we'll get an up close and personal glimpse into some of the most breathtaking underwater scenery you'll find anywhere on Earth...
So follow me,as I don my handy custom snorkel with built-in microphone,thoughtfully provided by the good folks over at Outback Bob's Sporting Goods Emporium,and all-you-can-eat Wallaby Bar-B-Que!
*splash*..
...This is a real treat kids!
Just look at the dazzling display of indigenous flora and fauna,..many species of which are in very real danger of becoming extinct due to pollution,and worldwide climatic shifts.
By golly!..We're in luck!..Off to our right is the powerful and majestic Portuguese Man O' War!
..let's move in for a closer look,shall we?
I can't BELIEVE our good fortune!
This rare and elusive jellyfish,dubbed 'Man O' War' for it's uncanny resemblance to an ancient class of warship,is truly an awe inspiring sight!
It's gracefully trailing tentacles can reach lengths of up to thirteen feet,and are armed with thousands of tiny stinging cells which it uses to..AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!..
GET IT OFF ME!!..GET IT OFF ME!!!..LORD HE'P ME JESUS!!!.. IT BUURRRNNS!!!!
....krikey'..
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..I'm feelin' pretty good about my chances of gaining employment with this one kids,..so don't be surprised if you should find me basking,blogging,and recovering as well as can be expected in the Land Down Under comes the very near future!