Quarterly Financial Statement..

Somehow,I've always managed to live within my means by using a simple formula.
Take what I make..Subtract what I have to spend on rent,food,and utilities,..and whatever is left over I can blow on whiskey,and loose women.
This budgeting theorem has held me in good stead,..until now.

Ever since I started working part-time,the whole system has been thrown into indecipherable chaos!

You see...
My part-time job pays every two weeks and that check takes ten days to arrive from Texas and my unemployment deducts what I made working part-time and sends me two checks every two weeks and those checks take three days to arrive and I cash my checks at Wal-Mart and they only let you cash two checks a week which they keep track of via your social security number and the pay periods between my part-time job and unemployment are staggered one week apart and I pay my rent weekly which is due on Fridays and my total bi-weekly income needs to cover two weeks rent and I have one check in my hand and two checks coming on Thursday and my part-time working hours go in on Friday and my unemployment claim goes out a week from Monday and I have $31.67 in my pocket and I can't for the life of me figure out if should get drunk,..or hire an accountant.