The lissome and inquisitive doralong
has tagged me to answer 10 well crafted questions!
I really don't mind these kind of challenges at all.I think they serve to help us look into ourselves,and maybe get some things out there that don't usually enter into everyday blogversation...so here goes.
1) Three Exes I would pretend not to know today.
Only 3??..I was pretty notorious back in the day,but I guess I can try to narrow it down.
a)Hurricane Ellen:..Where to begin?..A green eyed flaming red-head with a temper that would rival,..well,..my own.
God Damn!..I loved this woman.
Built like a brick shithouse,(she once declined an offer to appear in one o' those"Playboy's Girls Of"..pictorials),a brilliant poetess,and schizophrenic to the point of,"Who the hell am I talking to today??"..She was an avid practitioner of "Majick"..and I finally ended the relationship after nearly seven years by packing everything I could into a backpack,and walking out the door...
b)Princess Renee:..Half Sioux Indian,half Succubus..
What is a guy supposed to do about all that long black hair,deep brown eyes,and dancer's legs that went on for days?..
Make a total fool of himself,of course!
She was a full on man eater kids...I barely escaped.
c)Last,but by no means least!..Dawn-Rae.
My 2nd ex-wife...15 years my junior,and centered entirely on herself.
I wouldn't piss in her mouth if her guts were on fire...
Now..Throw me yer best curve.
2) The most scandalous rumor to pass through my high school.
This goes back to the late 60's you know..
It seems that one of the more popular fellas in high school,and a fairly good friend of mine,put his daddy's shotgun in his mouth one fine morning,and pulled the trigger...
We never knew why.
3) The time I Knew Santa didn’t exist.
That would have to be long about my 14th birthday(can you say denial?),when I got a carton of Marlboro's for Christmas...Everyone knows Santa smokes Camels.
4) The funniest thing I did in a house of worship.
My sister took me to church on my 5th birthday,..Christmas morn,and told me that I would get to go to Sunday school and color with the other kids.She went off to junior class,and left me in the main chapel with the adults.
During the sermon,when it became obvious to me that the pastor was going to continue rambling on,I interrupted his sermon by announcing,"I'm 5 years old today!"..figuring they would immediately send me off to color with the other kids..
"Oh,..how nice for you"..
Needless to say,I was so disappointed,that I walked out of church,and headed home..Over 5 miles.
By the time I arrived at my house,I was astounded to discover that my entire family had been searching for me for hours!..Go figure.
5) Best excuse I came up with for being out past curfew.
I never needed an excuse.
When I was 15,I spent the whole weekend in Tijuana with some older friends,and no one knew the difference.
6) Saturday cartoon character I had a crush on.
...I rest my case.
7)Cartoon character I wanted to be.
I didn't relate to cartoon characters,(Betty Rubble not withstanding)..
Okay,..Foghorn Leghorn cracked my shit up..But I definitely figured I could be Batman if I put my mind to it.
8)Foods I can no longer stomach.
Okra?..Well that's just warmed over snot,isn't it?..
I do love me some o' lorraine's Okra Poppers however.
b) Every year,or 5,or 10,I try to like Beef liver.
I mean,..It's good for you,and relatively inexpensive.
Not to mention that liver and onions smells absolutely fantastic!
..You know that sound a cat makes for the 2 days prior to hacking up a furball?..It's like that.
9)Tacky pick up line you used that worked.
I had been sitting next to this lovely girl at the bar in Rumours for about an hour,when she turned to order a drink from the bartender,and began rubbing her eye..
"Are your eyes bothering you?"..I asked.
"No,..not really",she replied.
Locking her gaze,I responded,"Well,..they're botherin' me!"..
Still,..sometimes,..I say the right thing. ;)
10)Secret Hangover recipe.
Now we're on my turf!..
I don't get hangovers...Truly...It's all about preventive maintenance boys and girls!
a) Eat something before you drink,..dammit!
b) Don't "mix" beverages.By that I mean,if you're drinking vodka tonic,don't have a tequila sunrise,and then a shot of Jack Daniel's...You'll be sorry.
c) A good rule of thumb,is that it takes about 45 minutes for alcohol to reach your brain.Think about that before slamming 4 celebratory shots in 10 minutes!..All that alcohol kicks in at the same time...Not good!
d)..So you still wake up hungover?..Protein and vitamin C!..I like scrambled eggs and orange juice,with some slightly burnt and buttered toast to handle the queasiness.Coffee or tea,which does nothing to sober you up btw,but the caffeine helps that pounding head ache.
Well there you have it!..Wasn't that enlightening?
You know,..I'll bet more cowbell
would have some fascinating stories to contribute as well..They may consider themselves totally tagged!