Thursday, May 31, 2007

There is life after American Idol !!..

It's my dirty little not-so-secret that I'm hooked on American Idol.

I find Simon to be insightful and forthcoming with his constructive criticisms,PLUS!..He's an asshole..I like that quality in someone that holds the hopes and dreams of America's youth in his smarmy British hands.

Paula beams with big-sisterly encouragement,and Randy is,..well,.Randy's pretty weird,but he's made a buttload of money in the music business,so he must know what he's talking about,even if I can't make heads or tails of it..."That was a little pitchy for me Dog.."..Does that mean the same thing as,"Your voice has the ephemeral quality of goose farts on a muggy day?"..I just don't know.


I do have a Summer replacement to tide me over 'till next season.
I've now become thoroughly addicted to "Deadliest Catch".

This is where we get to follow Alaskan King Crab fishermen on their trek to snare that elusive delicacy from the icy depths of the Bering Sea.

"Holy flyin' shit Batman!", you realize what it takes to put one o' them crusty,snapping bastards on your dinner plate?

Half a dozen maniacs pile into some great creaking rust bucket,deadhead out to the middle of creation in the heart of winter,and beat the shit out of themselves for like 263 hours straight.

All the while the Bering Sea,..which,by the way,..doesn't give a rat's ass about any of 'em,.is hitting them with waves the size of the Chrysler building,while every piece of equipment on board ship is conspiring to snatch them straight away into the briny abyss.

Phil is my favorite Captain...Arrgghhh!
He's a cranky old salt that's been a crab fisherman since he was like 3 years old,when his Pop would tie a rope around his ankle,and toss him overboard for bait...It's in his blood.

This season,he's Shanghaied his two sons to work as deckhands on his boat,."The Raging Bitch",so that they might follow along in the family tradition of risking various and sundry forms of death and dismemberment,in an effort to provide you and I with a pleasant Saturday night outing at Red Lobster.

Oh sure,'s no American Idol,..but it will have to do 'till next season.

Monday, May 28, 2007

A requiem..

Ah, back through the glen I rode again and my heart with grief was sore, For I parted then with valiant men whom I never shall see more .
But to and fro in my dreams I go and I'd kneel and pray for you,
For slavery fled, O glorious dead, When you fell in the foggy dew...

"The Foggy Dew"

Sinead O'Conner and The Chieftains


Saturday, May 26, 2007

The Weather Will Continue...

..with variable changes.

It's been in the mid-nineties here in O-town for the last two weeks.

I caught this young man taking a break in the fountain at Feather River park this afternoon.
The fountain is made specifically for just this kind of activity...How cool is that!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Go tell Sarge we need a bucket of hot grinding sparks

This weekend,we honor those men and women that have given full measure to ensure that those of us that remain can enjoy the benefits of living in a free country.

There will be no digression here.No diatribe to detract from the spirit of their sacrifice,or distract us from the purpose of our remembrance.


There has been a modest military tradition in my family during the last century.My father served on the U.S.S. Copahee as a Fireman during WWII,and was decorated for his participation during the liberation of the Philippines.

My Uncle Maurice lost a leg in Germany in that same war,as a member of the unit known as "Darby's Rangers".

Uncle Bill,an Airman, trained dogs for specialized tasks during the Korean conflict.

I served as a recovery and evacuation specialist(A fancy name for someone who basically pulls tanks out of the mud)in the First Infantry Division from 1971-1974.

Thankfully,I was never sent to Vietnam.I had several friends that did go.Some few that didn't come home.

I see,from time to time,members of the armed forces about their business here in O-Town,and am struck by their youth.

Children,as we all once were,whom we have entrusted with the onerous task of securing the blessings of liberty to ourselves,and our posterity.

I love them..Each and every one.
'Nuff said...

**Test your Tanker Knowledge**

Pictured above is a fine example of the M60 Tank(my generation).The question I put to you is this;
If the top of the track (the belt like configuration around the wheels) is traveling at 40 mph,how fast is the bottom of the track traveling?..

There will be absolutely no prizes presented for the correct answer.
Peace Out...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Remember that place where I put that thing that time?

The ebullient and perennially gamtastic lorraine has tagged me to list 7 things about myself that are,..something..Hang on..Okay..Apparently I get to choose,so I'm choosing 7 things about stuff.

1)Some years ago,during x-mas time,I called in sick to work when I really wasn't.My neighbor asked me to help him put up his lights around the house as long as I was home,which I did.While we were working I noticed a guy across the street taking my picture.The next morning,there I was on the front page of our local newspaper,decidedly NOT being sick.

2)When I was a freshman in high school,I went to a school play and saw a girl playing the part of the Muse,Terpsichore,that I though was really cute.After the play I asked her to go steady with me and she said yes!We dated for about a week,and the whole time I called her Terpsichore...I never knew what her real name was.

3)I was haulin' ass home from work one day,and got pulled over for speeding.I made up a quick story for the cop that whenever my car reached 45 mph,it would start to shimmy so I had to punch the accelerator to get it to stop.He said that he understood what I was saying,but the speed limit was only 25 mph,..and wrote me a ticket.

4)I was sitting at my desk one,day looking out the window at a fat lady in the parking lot.My co-worker asked me what I was looking at,and I told him,"A fat lady in the parking lot".A minute later she entered our office,went straight to his desk and handed him his lunch...It was his wife.

5)I was tending bar on a very busy Friday night,when a patron came up to order a drink.He was having difficulty even getting the words out so I told him in my best irritated fashion,"You're drunk,I'm NOT serving you any more!!..He left,looking dejected.A few minutes later his therapist came and informed me that he was there with his group of stutterers,trying to help them practice speaking in public situations...Oh.

6)My Grandfather's favorite President was Hindenburg.

7)My then girlfriend,still pissed about an argument we had the night before,hit me in the nose with the wooden heel of her shoe while I was sleeping and broke it..My nose I mean...Her shoe was none-the-worse for wear.

Now I'm going to tag 5 unsuspecting fellow blogophiles to list 7 things of interest,no interest,whimsy,or favorite pet peeves.They are,in alphabetical order;

EDIT:..The new save feature on blogger sux.I've fixed the spacing 4 times,and it still puts shit wherever it wants.

Sunday, May 20, 2007


Found around O-Town..

Crap!!..I only have $4.99..I am SO screwed. ...Because it's THE LAW dammit!

Friday, May 18, 2007

(insert clever and insightful post here)

Okay,I lied...I got squat.BUT!..I'm driven by forces beyond my control (Jack Daniels)to blog,so I thought I'd bring us up-to-date on life in Sling's Domain.

First off,my son's lady has suffered a miscarriage.Please don't be concerned.Everyone is fine,and I'm sure he'll do his best to, know,.tap that fertile ground as it were.

The Lizzard King's acquisition of the local billiards parlor has hit a snag or two,but he's not out of the running just yet.Negotiations are still lively at this point.

Work on our shop's website is progressing nicely.We need to add some pictures to our photo album,and get some relevent text up on the home page to give the visitor some more detailed information about what it is that we are all about.The K's are well pleased thus far,but more importantly,I'M having fun!

Speaking of fun,I entered a contest by way of Danielle to try and get me some free swag.It's a Tofu Haiku poetry contest.Here is my submission:

Cast Iron skillet
Tofu and Olive oil
Add chopped Bell Pepper...

The sponsors of the competition have e-mailed me a request to stop annoying them.

****Stuff I Might Do This Weekend****

The Lizzard King and I might go to a concert in a town I've never been to,featuring bands I've never heard of...Should be fun!..and then there's pix and all..

Odds are,if your reading this,I'll be paying you a drunken visit sooner or later.So you have THAT to look forward to!...Peace out.

EDIT:..Oh,..I forgot to mention how much Blogger thoroughly sux!
My "Comments" have suddenly disappeared,and I see that blogger has "improved" as of the publishing of this post...Hopefully the pencil necked geeks in charge will straighten it all out.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

La Blogga Nostra..

I keep a pretty low blogger profile at work.
Not because I'm concerned about the things I write being held against me,but because,generally speaking,my co-workers just aren't necessarily interested in that aspect of the internets.
They know I have a blog,and a couple of them have paid a visit from time to time,and left more or less unimpressed.Still,they are by and large a computer literate group.
Well last Friday Mr. K asked,"Does anybody know how I can get a website?"..
My ears perked up like Lassie hearing the faint cries of Timmy trapped in the well.
Turns out,he wanted our cabinet shop to be properly represented on the World Wide Web.
To my way of thinking,and with minor tweaking,there's no reason why a "blog" can't be a business' website.Particularly when it has the most desirable characteristic of being FREE!
Long story short,..over the weekend I put together a sample of what he might do with blogger,and it was enthusiastically received.
Beginning this morning,he and I will be getting together and building Klein's Custom Cabinets web page.Many of you know how much I care about these people,so to say that I'm pleased to help out with this project is easily understood.Of course,if you click on the link,you'll find a bare bones and basic template.Hey!...Give us time. :)

In sadder news:
My dear friend Middle child is going through a difficult time right now,and I want to offer my profound sympathy to her and Don,and their entire family.May God bless.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Fiesta Days !!

Boy Howdy!..I'm here to tell you that O-Town takes it's chili very seriously.The street is packed with peeps from one end of town to the other.
..Live bands on practically every corner.

The cook-off is sponsored by the Butte County fire department.

No donuts for for these guys.They're strictly chili fans. ..and ROCKIN' musicians as well!!
I hung out here for a bit and enjoyed some excellent 50's rock and roll.

Everyone was havin' fun sampling the different varieties.
..As well as the beer.. ..and of course,chili-dogs..
Crap!..I almost forgot to show you guys the parade!

I couldn't believe how great the marching bands sounded.They all received rounds of well deserved applause.

...pretty girls are everywhere!..I'm pretty sure the redhead across the street is checkin' me out..

Little Newt waiting to pounce on all the candy and toys that get tossed to the kids.He's a real fireball..Believe me,I've tried childproofing the house,but he still keeps getting in!No way I'm missing the car show.These beauties were lined up on both sides of the street for about 10 blocks. Just about the time the sun was high,and it started to get a little hot out,I hustled all the way to the other end of town to enjoy the shade at Sank Park,and browse the booths at the craft fair.

..where I picked up this cool tin sign at a great price!I'm gonna hang it behind the bar at Here's the 80's..It doesn't really match the decor,so lorraine will probably shake her head when she sees it..Just like she does every time she passes the stuffed Armadillo I keep next to the beef jerky rack.

I make fun of O-Town,but sometimes the joint really rocks!..Have a great weekend!


It's like watching grass grow..

I'll be a little late showing up to sling whiskey over at here's the 80's today.
It's Fiesta Day here in the thriving necropolis of O-Town,and I gotta hit the chili cook off!..I'll post some pix later on. :)

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I should probably post something..

..seeing as how I have a Blog and all.

The weather in O-Town has been wondermous the last couple of weeks!
80's and 90's,and the days getting longer is just fine by me.I was having to wear a jacket riding my bike to work on the cold mornings,and then having to wear it home in the heat of the afternoon so I'd have it for the next day...Total suckage!
Now it's just a T-shirt both ways.

The Lizzard King is making serious moves to acquire our local pool hall.It's actually a family billiards establishment that he's pretty much grown up in.They serve beer and have 11 tables,(8 regulation,and 3 bar tables).He's got a good head on his shoulders so I know he'll do well should the deal go through.

I had some fun with non-stop-talker at work today.
The minute I walked in the door he started yappin' about some baseball team I don't care about,signing some pitcher whose name I can't remember,and paying him "8,000 dollars a pitch!"..

Me:"Well,what the hell kind of incentive is that?"
NST:"Waddaya mean?"
Me:"If he strikes out every batter with 3 pitches,he makes less money"
NST:"No..It doesn't work like that.."
Me:.."and what if he only pitches 1 pitch to each batter,and they all fly out to like,center field,..then he'd really get screwed!"
NST:.."It's NOT like that!"..You see..."
Me:"Personally,if it was me,I'd just let every batter get to a full count,or even let 'em go through the batting order several times an inning..Hell,.he could lose the game 87 to nothin' and REALLY make bank!"
NST:"LISTEN DAMMIT!...That just means that they took the value of his contract,and divided it by the AVERAGE number of pitches per game that he's thrown in his Career!..THAT'S how they come up with 8 Grand a pitch"..
ME:..Oh,..I see...Hey!..What if he throws a pitch,hits the batter,and it bounces off him and hits the guy on deck...Do they BOTH get to take their bases?"...


Sunday, May 06, 2007

Sunday Sermon..

Oh don't run away.It ain't gonna be like that!

I have the most wonderful Bible program that I peruse from time to time,to check up on how the world is turning these days.

I can type in a word,or phrase,and get several and relevant passages to my inquiry.
You don't have to be religious to know wisdom when it bites you in the arse folks!...okay?

Mostly,I'm an Old Testament kind of guy.I've been up and down upon the earth,and to and fro in it,and I tend to take my comfort from the lyrical simplicity of the King James version...None o' that hip "Jesus cruised into the 'hood" new translation crap for me!..Thank you very much.
I'm not alone in this.
Back in the day,a marvelous folk musician/poet by the name of Pete Seeger took a humble verse from the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes(chapter 3,starting at verse 1),and turned it into one of the most popular anti-war tunes of the 60's.
Some of you are old enough to remember The Byrd's version of "Turn,turn,turn",..Those of you that are too young to remember,..please, get your shit together would'ja!!.. ;)

A blessing on your houses..


Friday, May 04, 2007

I sleep with a nite-lite..

The Springtime fresh and delicious Rosemary has tagged me to reveal 10 interesting facts/habits about myself.

Most of you are already familiar with my brief,but tawdry affair with Rita Hayworth back in the forties,as well as my "alleged" complicity in that whole Bay of Pigs fiasco,so I will attempt to enlighten you with some few bits of esoterica that you may be unaware of:

  • I was born on December 25th,and have a triangular shaped "Christmas tree" birthmark on my left upper arm.

  • During an argument with my then girlfriend while driving to Hotchkiss,Colorado,I got out of the car and WALKED home...31 miles..I was over it by the time I arrived.

  • I buried Harry Truman!..Okay,I didn't actually dig the hole and throw the little guy in,but I was one of several hundred soldiers that stood at attention along the funeral route as part of the Honor Cordon.

  • I lay out my clothes for the next day,nicely folded next to my bed, before I go to sleep.

  • List of wiley and elusive creatures that I have captured with my bare hands:(In alphabetical order)

a) A Marmot
b) 2 Roadrunners
c) 3 species of Rattlesnake
d) A Bat
e) A Howler Monkey
f) Melinda Flores

  • In 1974,I decided to take a year off and try to earn my living playing Poker...I lasted 9 months.

  • I have several different routes to and from work that I alternate,just in case "They" are trying to follow me.

  • I can drink an entire pint of Kentucky Whiskey,and still nunction formally.

How many is that?...Eight!..No problem.I have at least two more that I will be happy to divulge,as soon as the Statute of Limitations runs out.

I think I'm supposed to tag more people.How about I just extend the invitation to those of you that would like to play along. :)

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Tuesday Quickie

Overheard at the Park..

She:"I just can't believe how much that tree has grown".


She:"That tree..Next to the restrooms..I can't believe how big it is now".

He:"Hasn't it always been that big?"

She:"What are you talking about old man?..You remember when they planted it!"

He:"No..No I really don't".

She:"Sure you do!..Buster used to lift his leg on that tree when he was just a pup!"

He:.."Oh yeah!..Boy,..THOSE were the days.."