SHHHH !..

..be vewwwy quiet.

...and then one thing led to another.

Yesterday,I wanted to request a favorite of mine over at Here's the 80's.
"Oh Montana" was released in 1983,and featured John Denver,with Emmylou Harris.
Well,I couldn't find that video,but during my search I ran across, "To know him is to love him" (Emmylou,Dolly,and Linda).
My good friends lorraine and JP posted that one for me.
Lorraine in turn,has posted a Neil Young tune performed by those same three stunning vocalists on her blog as well!

Like I said,I couldn't find the video with John and Emmylou,but I did find this one!..Today is a good day..



"Oh Montana"

What's wrong with this picture?..

I'll tell you what's wrong with this picture.

There's a HUGE empty space where my bicycle should be!

That's what's wrong with his picture.

Yep..It seems The Spirit of Oxnard was,umm,spirited away by some crack smoking bastard,even while I slept.

And don't ask me if it was locked.Of course it wasn't locked.It was supposed to be safe,and warm,in the sanctity of my OWN very porch!..dammit.

You know,if they would just knock on my door and say,"May I please have some money for some crack,so I don't have to jack your bicylce?",I wouldn't give 'em any,but still,that would be the civilized thing to do..

..I'm starting to take this shit personally..

Birds of a feather..

Yesterday at work,I plugged in my bull nose router,(and yes,it's every bit as macho as it sounds),and the entire South side of O-Town lost power.

As much as I would like to take credit for the outage,I'm pretty sure it's just a coincidence.In any case,we all got sent home at 11:30 am.

This morning Mr.K said we would get paid for the whole day,because it wasn't our fault the power went out.

Little does he suspect.

We have a pair of Sparrows nesting in the apex of the roof,outside,near our break area.I've been giving them crackers,and bits of bread from my lunch,and now Papa Sparrow,(I say "Papa",because Momma is incessantly squawking at him),comes down whenever I'm on break to collect his daily rations.

He lands a few feet from me,cocks his head,and begins to chirp.

I've translated this behavior to mean,"Dude!...Kick me down some crackers so she'll get off my case...dammit!".Mrs. K said that if I wanted to build a bird feeder for them,she would buy the birdseed.

I think I prefer the present arrangement..

Recently,a group of Vultures,(Flock?..Covey?..Secret fraternal organization??..),has been surveying the area some few miles from the shop.Today they moved in over the break area,directly above me.

They really are a handsome bird.Brilliant white on black,with a wingspan I would guesstimate at around 5 feet.

They hovered above me for some time,riding the updrafts,and slowly descending to the point at which I could make out their featherless heads.

I watched this display,becoming lost in the reverie,when I was suddenly struck with the thought that perhaps this doesn't bode so well for me...I just don't know.

A year ago this month,my blog was hijacked by some opportunistic porn peddler.I lost my addy,and everything I had posted up to that time.

This is the occasion of my 200th post since then!

Have a great week kids!...Peace out.

..a joke submitted at the specific request of The Hat.

Gizmo's "tired"...Get it?..Ahahahah!,..hello? (thump,thump)..Is this thing on?

The Lott Home in Sank Park

Just around the corner,about a five minute walk,sets the historic Lott home.
Built in the 1880's,and open to the public year round,I found myself in the fortunate circumstance of being the only one there this fine Saturday morning.

..I like this one..

..and this one.

This one,..not so much..
If you got married in O-Town in the last 100 years,odds are you took your vows here.

Have a pleasant weekend kids!

Oatmeal Wednesday..

I've been up and down in Bloggertown,and everything is as it should be...

JP is wielding ruthless power in his new job.

There are pretty girls in flowered..(I'm talkin' real flowers!) skirts,over at lorraine's house,and the Hat has gone all Hannibal Lechter on Lex.

Monica is dancing at her desk to the rockin' tunes brought to us by the good folks over at Here's the 80's,and Rosemary's Yard has a brand spankin' new haircut.

The Rube has hit upon a brilliant plan to acquire a new bicycle,and meanwhile,CS has achieved the coveted "R" rating that her blog so richly deserves.

Serena Joy has successfully circumnavigated the perils of Madison Avenue,and More Cowbell is finding some measure of peace,following the passing of her beloved,and talented camera.

Citymouse met a man with seven wives,seven cats,and an abundance of assorted and sundry other travelers whilst attending the faire,and Gina's blog has been commandeered by a Machiavellian cat.

As for me,I'll be sharing an intimate bowl of oatmeal with Belinda Carlisle this very eve.

It's Wednesday...and I wouldn't have it any other way in Sling's Domain.

...let me count the ways.

I'm taking a sick day today,and I'll tell you why.

Because I'm a friggin' idiot!..That's why.

Hopefully that clears everything up and,..Wazzat?..You want ALL the details of my stupidity?
Crap..You guys are relentless.
A'ight.
Yesterday afternoon,The Lizzard King and Little Newt went to go swimming down at Feather River,so I decided to take a pleasant bicycle ride over to Mall-Wart,and pick up some personal hygiene products.
Oh sure,it's 98 degrees out,but it's only about 3 miles round trip.Should be a piece o' cake.
And it was.
I arrived back home,a little sweaty,anxious to pound down a cold beer.
Setting down my bags,I reached into my pocket to fetch my keys...my keys..My fuckin' KEYS!!
Oh,..not to worry.I didn't lose them.
They are resting quite safely,on the coffee table, IN MY BEDROOM!
I never,ever,forget my keys..only this time,I did.

Well hell..I'll just stash the packages on the porch,pedal on down to the river,and borrow LK's keys.
No way am I waiting on the porch,in this heat,for him to decide to mosey on home.Besides,it's only about another 3 or 4 miles round trip.

So..Mr,"We'll be at our regular spot"...Where the hell are you?
Nowhere to be found...and it's hot..and I'm starting to feel my age.

I'll bet he went to his brother's house!(Are you beginning to sense a pattern here?) Yep,..another mile or so,only to discover that nobody is home...
I don't feel very good.
Well,if he's not here,and he's not at the river,he certainly MUST be home by now!
Strike Three.

Okay,I get it.I should've stayed here and waited.
I'm parched,and nauseous,and my skin is feelin' a little clammy.
All the symptoms of being an incredible moron.
..at least the water from the hose has that piquant flavor of hot vinyl,and garden soil.
As I'm quenching my lust for H2O,I happen to look up,and notice that the bathroom window is open!
Which is handy,because I didn't have to go far to puke after squeezing through that tiny-ass opening,over the sink,and face-first onto the linoleum.

So,this morning,I'm still feeling a little pekid,but I'm pretty sure this will pass.
I jump on the Spirit of Oxnard to head to work...
Flat tire..

You know what?...Screw it!!
..and that's why I'm taking a sick day.

Some light housekeeping

When I find myself going to "Bookmarks" on a regular basis,I figure it's time to add new links to my sidebar.

Serena Joy over at "Parenthetically Speaking" is a top-notch writer,with an engaging style and wit.
And,if your a dog lover like I am,Jan's "Poodle(and dog)Blog"is a great source of stories,opinion,and information concerning our canine buddies....Check 'em out.

Likewise,I've been wanting to have this tune where I can easily get my hands on it,for those times when I'm in this very mood.
I'm a huge Jim Croce fan.
His madrigal style,and haunting lyrics simply blow me away.
Plus!..My Uncle Bill looked so much like him,that people would seriously stop him in public,and do the "Aren't you Jim Croce?" thing...Have a great week kids!

Hat fixed my shit..

I have this habit of pressing buttons,just to see what they do.
Well,I screwed up my profile pic,and The Hat came to my rescue!
No easy task I can tell you,as I can be a less-than-sterling pupil.
Thanx Doll! ---------------------------->

I got a new toy!..

No..It's not a speedy new bike. It's something I've been craving for a while.

..because I wanted a different perspective.
Something I can experiment with.
So hold onto your hats.


...this could get ugly!

The envelope please..

I think that most bloggers enter into this thing of ours for a variety of reasons.
Many people use it as a means of journaling their thoughts and experiences,so that there may be some tangible record of their life.
Some like to share their hobbies and interests with like minded individuals,and of course,there is always the added bonus of meeting people from other places,and differing lifestyles,so that we may come to better understand our fellow sapiens.
Personally,I started this blog with one specific purpose in mind.

I wanted to win valuable prizes...

Well,..lo and BeJeebus if I haven't garnered two such tasty plums this very week!
The fruits of countless hours of hunt-and-pecking away at the keyboard have been harvested boys and girls!

Every one's favorite Aunt,and purveyor of Bloggertown's most sought after applesauce cake,lorraine,having recently returned from a whirlwindy tour of the grand metropolis of Chicago,has bestowed upon me the coveted title of Thinking Blogger...




And Rosemary,mother of the Hat,librarian extraordinaire,and keeper of all things nostalgic,graciously granted me this most recent addition to the blogosphere's cherished accolades,..The Schmooze Award!



My cup runneth over.. :)..

While the intrinsic value of these trophies is impressive in itself,($19.95 plus S&H),it is the sentiments that accompanied their presentation that,for me, holds value beyond measure.

For that,I am most sincerely grateful.

Comes now,the time to pass all the benefits and considerations of this bounty along to five other deserving souls.
Honestly,and as I'm sure you are all aware,there is not a single person on my sidebar that doesn't qualify for each of these awards.

I've done the legwork,and I'm convinced that all my blog buddies have already received their well deserved Thinking Blogger status,and have more than likely passed them on to each of their own choice.
I'd like to take this opportunity to confer upon each of you,the distinctive "Oak Leaf Cluster"(signifying having received more than one),by way of recognition.I think this is appropriate.
There are however,some few among you that have yet to earn your Schmooze awards.

I'll attempt to rectify that.

• Auld Hat-..Old friend.I am forever delighted with your ability to make me feel as though we are the only people in the room,sharing an inside confidence,and toasting to all the good times,past and future.You are,quite simply,phenomenal.
  
• The Rube-..Well it's not all glamour and excitement,is it my friend?..Sometimes it's bicycles,and beer cans,and quadrupeds.I have yet to read one of your posts where I didn't think to myself,"Yeah!..It's just like that!"..Schmooze Deluxe!


• Monica-..If there is a situation,however innocuous or mundane,that you can't transform into a riotous good time,then I just can't call it.From an ordinary bus ride,to a pantry that would make Mother Hubbard go "damm..",your account of the experience is a joy to behold.You make me want to be reincarnated as a young black chick.


• allan-..If I had my 'druthers,I'd 'druther be hitchin' a ride to the Mississippi River,signing on with some rusty barge,and cruising the length and breadth of the Ol' Miss,pickin' git fiddles,and swapping lies with you buddy.The adventures we've had in my mind are legendary.
  
• lorraine-..Oh,..you thought you were gonna get away Scott free?..I think not...You know,..I actually get angry when I read some of the crap that finds it's way into the printed media,because there is no way it holds a candle to your style,or your delivery,or the way you make everyone feel as though they were welcome to sit and break bread at your table...You are a treasure.

The keyword here is "Schmooze" my friends.
I take that to mean the ability to draw in the listener,and make them an active part of the story.
I fully expect those I've selected to choose equally deserving members to join the fraternity..(and don't give me any o' that PC sorority crap!).. ;)

..peace out.

Dog Days

Along with the stifling heat that has settled like a lead balloon on our little burg this past week,has arrived the much anticipated and refreshing Delta Breeze.Whipped up through a fortuitous barometric miracle that occurs points South,and carries with it some small relief from the oppressive Summer temps here in O-Town.

Still,the days are long,and there are times when the second hand on the big clock at work seems to edge backward,as if to mock my impatience.

Bastard clock.

Drunken Blogging

This was gonna be my new profile pic,but I disremember how to change it. Edit: Photo by Doniaz Reflktionz...

she made me give her credit...

Be very afraid!..

Are you kidding me??

I stole this link from M.Cowbell.
PG??
Well,my stars and garters,if this isn't the most unheard of rating for a decidedly adult oriented blog,then they can just kiss me where the sun don't shine!
DARN IT!!
I'm cutting edge naughty talk if ever there was a Lenny Bruce,and I'm not gonna take this sugar coated rating as if I were some kind of...of..well,..someone that bends over politely while someone else shoves foreign objects up my...
As far as I'm concerned,This blog is purely for mature audiences!

DO NOT!...let you beloved children read this blog.
...This message sponsored by...

This Noble Experiment...

I think in light of the state of the union,as it stands,it may be easy to become disheartened about the prospects for America.

We seem to be hopelessly embroiled in a war that has no clear objective,nor cohesive plan for success.

The ability of the average citizen to move freely about,and express opinions in opposition to those in power diminishes on (nearly) a daily basis, while the cronies of our duly elected gangsters cruise in and out of the justice system with ease.

The media spends millions of dollars in an effort to focus our attention on the lifestyles of the spoiled and priveledged,while the countless survivors of Hurricane Katrina are left to wonder why..

Still,..There is this thing we have as a nation that perseveres.

It's in our hearts,and our minds,and probably our American genetic make-up.

It's Patrick Henry's defiant ultimatum,"Give me liberty,or give me death!"

It's Francis Scott Key,moved to poetry at the sight of the American flag waving proudly over Fort Sumter.

..(Grab yer babies,I'm on a roll)..

• Abraham Lincoln's confimation that our nation was."Conceived in liberty,and dedicated to the proposition that ALL men are created equal".


• Franklin Roosevelt's "New Deal"
  
• D-Day...'nuff said


• ..and didn't each of us,..born or not,..take that first step along with Neill Armstrong on the surface of the Moon!..

Yeah,I've been drinking a dram or few,but that's how I feel.

That indefinable thing that fills our chests with pride,and prompts us to stand up,out loud,and in public,to proclaim our individual independence survives even now...I'm thoroughly convinced of that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY USA!!....end of pontification.

Oh Canada!

Today is Canada day(formerly known as Dominion Day).Or so I'm told.

I don't actually have a calendar that says that,so if it isn't,then I'm officially declaring it!

The day will be observed with a parade on Parliament Hill,fireworks,and probably a hockey game..I just don't know.

As for me,I'll be enjoying a sumptuous meal of traditional Canadian food,just as soon as I figure out exactly what that is.

I'm sure bacon will be involved...In any case..

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

To all my friends in the Great White North.